How to Start a Conversation with a Stranger via Text

Do you ever feel nervous about initiating a text conversation with a stranger online? You’re not alone in this anxiety. When staring at your phone’s keyboard, trying to figure out what to say, remember that you can do better than you think. Most of the people you meet in life were once strangers! However, it can sometimes be difficult to maintain a casual conversation and keep it going. That’s why this article provides you with some tips to help you build more meaningful and interesting connections. Here are 10 simple ways to start a fun and natural conversation with a stranger.

You probably don’t want your first message to be dismissed as spam. This step is important if you got their phone number through someone else, as your contact info will show up as an unknown number. Keep your message short, or if you’ve met them before, don’t forget to reference the place where you met.

• If you’ve never spoken before, explain who gave you their number: “Hi, I’m Nam from Econ 240. Thanh gave me your number.”
• If you’ve already met, mention the location where you encountered them: “Hi, I’m Lan, we met at Sơn’s party!”
• “Hey, I’m Hoa, we ran into each other at the noodle shop last Friday. Even though we just met there, I’m heading back there tonight.”

Show off your sense of humor and keep the conversation going. Sending something a little silly can help you feel more relaxed. Try using a fun riddle or a humorous joke to give the other person a chance to respond.

• 'How do you fit an elephant into a refrigerator?' Let them answer first before you send the follow-up message: 'You just open the fridge, put the elephant inside, and close it.'
• 'In Vietnam, where does the dragon fly and land?' The answer is 'The dragon flies in Thang Long and lands in Ha Long!'
• 'Do you know which pants are the widest?' You can follow it with 'Those are the islands.'

Find memes or GIFs related to something you both talked about. This keeps the conversation going in a fun, easy way. If you're talking to a complete stranger, look for memes related to things they've mentioned on their social media or feed. If you've met them before but aren’t close, you can reference the place where you met.

• If you're unsure of their interests, you could send a meme related to a viral trend or a celebrity they might recognize.
• Avoid sending memes with offensive language or explicit content that could lead to misunderstandings.

Việc hỏi ý kiến của đối phương giúp bạn hiểu họ hơn. Ngoài ra, cuộc trò chuyện trao đổi ý kiến cho bạn cơ hội tìm điểm chung giữa hai người. Khoa học đã chứng minh việc đặt câu hỏi giúp bạn trông thân thiện hơn. Bạn có thể chọn chủ đề bất kỳ, miễn là không quá khó. Tránh cuộc trò chuyện phức tạp để người đó không cảm thấy như bị chất vấn hoặc buộc phải nói những chuyện “đao to búa lớn”.

• “Gần đây em đã xem bộ phim nào? Có hay không?”
• “Quán ăn nào có bữa trưa ngon anh nhỉ?”
• “Bạn nghĩ sao về sữa thực vật và sữa động vật?”
• “Em cảm thấy công việc/học tập/cuộc sống ở đây thế nào?”

Đây là một cách hay để duy trì cuộc trò chuyện tích cực. Bằng cách hỏi về điều họ đang mong đợi, bạn cũng sẽ biết thêm về sở thích của họ. Một điểm cộng nữa là bạn sẽ dễ dàng hỏi thêm về kế hoạch và sự kiện sắp tới. Hơn nữa, có thể họ cũng hỏi về dự định của bạn. Hãy thử những gợi ý sau:

• “Bạn định làm gì vào dịp lễ sắp tới?”
• "Lần sau khi đến khu vực trung tâm, em muốn thử món ăn ở nhà hàng nào?”
• “Anh định làm gì vào cuối tuần này?”
• Hỏi thêm một vài câu hỏi về kế hoạch của họ, chẳng hạn như “Em sẽ về quê vào dịp lễ này à? Quê em ở đâu?”

Chọn một trong các sở thích mà bạn đã nghe họ nhắc đến hoặc thấy trên trang cá nhân của họ. Con người thích nói về bản thân và những gì họ thích, nên đây là một cách tiếp cận an toàn và đơn giản. Trên thực tế, khi chúng ta nói về bản thân, hệ thống khen thưởng trong não liền được kích hoạt!

• Nhắc đến hiện tượng phổ biến mà họ quan tâm: “Bạn thích nhà nào trong Hogwarts?”
• Hỏi về những điều họ thích: “Em thích thể loại nhạc nào?” hoặc “Anh thích cầu thủ bóng đá nào?”
• Nhắc đến điều gì đó mà bạn thấy trên trang cá nhân của họ: “Anh thấy em có chụp ảnh cùng chó Corgi. Em đã đến lễ hội Corgi Con chưa?”

Talk about shared interests and common backgrounds. You can start by mentioning obvious similarities like hometown, school, or workplace. Alternatively, you could bring up smaller connections (for instance, comparing the type of jacket you’re wearing to the one they have in their profile picture).

• Build a connection over the little things: “The cozy jacket you're wearing in your profile picture looks really nice. Do you like jackets with hoods too?”
• Reference a shared experience or event you both were a part of: “Oh, my brother was on that same sports team two years before you.”
• Highlight a common background: “I’m also from another province! I moved here when I was little.”
• Talk about mutual hobbies: “So, we both enjoy rock music?”

It’s important to show sincerity and positivity during the conversation. Instead of just offering general comments about their appearance or clothing, think about something that’s unique to them. Consider what others might overlook. Appreciate their actions. Or, add a personal connection by mentioning something about them that reminds you of something else. Receiving compliments stimulates the brain in the same way as receiving money!

• Compliment their appearance: “I really love the earrings you’re wearing in your profile picture. They remind me of a special pair my mom gave me.”
• Compliment one of their actions: “I really appreciate how you stood up for Nam during the meeting today.”
• Compliment a unique trait or skill: “I’ve never seen anyone handle multiple orders like that. You’re truly impressive.”

Ask them to help clarify something for you. If they know the information you’re asking for, they’ll respond. If not, you both can take a guess together.

• “Let’s see if you know anything about Minh’s party. Do you happen to know where it’s being held? Haha!”
• “Do you know what we’re supposed to bring to tomorrow’s conference?”
• “It seems like you’re really into music festivals. I’m planning to go to one next week. Do you have any ‘insider tips’ for having the best experience?”
• “So, you’re from Da Nang? I’ll be there in two weeks. Got any advice for a tourist like me?”
• “Do you remember what Mr. Sơn told us to review for the midterm? I wasn’t really paying attention haha.”
• If they don’t know, you could say: “Well, looks like we’re in the same boat. Want to take a guess about what we’ll be doing?”

Connect through positive news or interesting trends. When asking about current events, try not to focus on extracting details. Instead, ask them about their feelings or opinions on the event, so they can share comfortably. This approach means asking questions like “What do you think about this?” Here are some suggestions to guide your questions on how they feel about certain events:

• “Did you watch the football game tonight?” If they say yes, follow up with “How are you feeling about it?”
• “Did you catch the Olympic Games?” And the next question would be “Which event did you enjoy the most?”
• “What did you think of the music festival that just ended?” Then ask “How did it feel being so close to the stage?”
• It’s totally fine if they’re not into discussing events. Just switch topics and ask something else to start a new conversation.

After chatting for a while, shift from casual talk to deeper subjects. People generally enjoy connecting with others, and they’re more likely to share about their lives than you might think. The benefit of asking open-ended questions is that it gives them the opportunity to share more and steer the conversation in a direction they enjoy. Studies show that asking questions can make others like you and leave a positive impression. You could try these questions:

• “Is there something about yourself you’d never want to change?”
• “Your name sounds really nice. Do you know why your parents chose that name for you?”
• “How long have you lived in this city? Do you still remember how it felt when you first arrived?”
• “Do you have any childhood memories that stand out to you?”