How to Start a Conversation with Someone You Like

The person you like is right here, sitting across from you. It feels so close yet so far! How can you strike up a conversation with someone you barely know or someone you're deeply interested in? It’s not as hard as it seems—you just need a few tips from Mytour. Let’s begin with Step 1 below to move towards the more intimate stages like holding hands or sharing a kiss!

Learn about the interests and hobbies of the person you admire. Pay attention to things that make them happy. People often enjoy talking about things they are knowledgeable about or passionate about. You should also note any shared interests between you two to spark suitable conversation topics.

• For example, find out what extracurricular activities they enjoy or what they typically do on weekends. You can ask their friends or simply listen for hints in their conversations about what they have been up to.

Observe the personality of the person you're interested in. Are they shy? Are they outgoing and sociable? You can watch how they behave in social settings to get an idea of how to approach them.

• For instance, if the person is shy, it might be better to talk to them when there are other people around. Being too forward in showing your feelings might scare them off, so it's best to avoid doing that.

Understand the person's general plans. You can only strike up a conversation if you're both in the same place at the same time. This information increases your chances of having a "close" conversation with the person you're interested in!

• If paying attention to this doesn't work, you can ask one of their friends for help. True friends will want their friend to find love. Just make sure the friend you ask is trustworthy.

Pay attention to your appearance to feel confident. You want to look your best to show the person you're interested in that you think they're worth your effort. Feeling comfortable with your appearance also boosts your confidence! Be particularly mindful of:

• Your hair – Try a new haircut or style your hair nicely. However, don't change your hairstyle too drastically... it might look strange!
• Your clothes – Wear an outfit that the other person might like. The most important thing is to make sure your clothes are clean, well-fitted, and free from wrinkles or stains.
• Grooming standards – Personal hygiene, shaving, and pleasant body odor will help you make a stronger impression!

Choose the right time and place. Based on what you've learned about the person you're interested in, selecting the right moment and location for a conversation is key. If you want a private chat, approach them when they're alone. If you're with a group or in a noisy environment, the conversation will likely remain more formal and impersonal.

Speak with confidence. Be clear and make eye contact with the other person. Your body language will reveal much about your interests. A smile can only help!

• Remember, they are just another person, like you. There's no need to be nervous, and even if things don't go exactly as planned, in the end, everything will work out.

Ask open-ended questions. These questions cannot be answered with a simple yes or no. The goal here is to give them a chance to talk and keep them going, which will give you the maximum opportunity to respond, leading to a real conversation!

• Open-ended questions often begin with "why" or "how," or touch on complex topics. For example, you could ask: "How did you feel growing up in Hanoi and moving here?", "Why do you want to sign up for this class?" or "How do you like to do _____?"

Listen actively and pay attention to the other person's body language. Try to ask questions that align with topics they are passionate about. The tone of their voice and body language can tell you where the conversation is heading.

• If they seem uninterested or distracted, you should stop when it's your turn to speak. You don't want to leave the impression that you're being too awkward. Just apologize ("Sorry, I forgot to call Aunt to wish her a happy birthday!") and try again next time.

Allow yourself and the other person to be yourselves. As the conversation progresses, share your opinions and interests while giving the other person space to talk about themselves. You just need to make sure the conversation stays focused on them when you're still getting to know each other. You shouldn't make them feel like you're the center of attention.

Talk about what happens at school or work. You can begin a conversation with a topic that you’re sure both of you have in common: school or work (depending on how you know each other).

• "Do you have Math with Mrs. Minh? I’m thinking of signing up for it next semester."
• "Have you heard that they’re renovating the break room? I’m hoping they’ll get a new TV. What about you?"

Comment on what’s happening around you. You can also comment on events happening nearby when you're standing next to each other. Just be careful not to criticize or belittle others (as that may leave a bad impression about who you are).

• "Did you see that? I wish more people were as careful as that. It was nice to see that."
• "The way he spoke to her was embarrassing. She deserves more respect. She’s worked so hard."

Comment on the other person. Comment on what they’re wearing, ask about where it’s from or the story behind it. Try to notice things they clearly take pride in, like a headband, nice shoes, or a T-shirt with a logo.

• "That Burning Man shirt is really cool. Have you ever been? I’ve always wanted to go."
• "That Sweet Adventure Time button is awesome. Which character do you like the most?"

Ask questions. Ask them questions about things you think they might know. This is a great way to start a conversation, but the topics may need to shift quickly if you want to keep the conversation going.

• "Do you know where the Lotte building is?"
• "Do you know how to open this? I’m trying to, but I’m not sure if I’m just being clumsy or if my hands are too weak."

Ask for help. Ask them for help with something small that won’t take more than a minute. People like to feel useful, and it gives you a chance to start a conversation while they feel good about helping you.

• "I was wondering if you could grab that item from the top shelf for me? These chairs don’t seem very stable, so I’m not sure if I should stand up."
• "Could you hold this coffee cup for a second while I clean up? I don’t want to spill it."

Ask about their past. Inquire about the reasons or feelings behind their experiences at a specific place. For example, if you're at a party, ask how they know the host. If you're at school with classmates or friends, you could ask if they live in the area.

Talk about a recent event. Share what’s been happening recently in the news, either nationally or in your local area. This is a great way to dive into more serious topics if you're looking to get to know the person better.

• "Have you heard about the protest this weekend? I’m planning to join."
• "Did you hear the city plans to expand the highway? Traffic will be a total nightmare."

Discuss a movie or TV show. Comment or talk about a recent film or TV series you’ve enjoyed, or one you haven’t watched yet. Take note of their opinions and use that as a springboard to keep the conversation going. Even if they haven’t seen it, you can shift the conversation to another fun topic.

• "Have you seen the new Spider-Man movie yet? I’m trying to figure out if it’s worth watching."
• "Oh, please tell me you watch Game of Thrones! I need someone to fangirl with! You haven’t seen it? You really should... it’s amazing!"

Compliment them! A compliment on something they can control, like their choice of outfit or something they’ve made or accomplished, is a great conversation starter. Avoid complimenting things they can’t control, like their hair or eyes, since those are more general compliments anyone could receive.

Be honest. Let the other person know that you want to talk to them because they seem interesting or fun, and you’d like to get to know them. Many people appreciate honesty, especially those who are attractive and often encounter others trying to flirt or make a show of talking to them.

• Don’t force a conversation. If the person you're interested in isn't engaged, it's a sign to stop and try again later.
• Although you'd like to know the person you're talking to before starting a conversation, you don't need to know everything about them. Knowing too much (and using that knowledge) can make them feel uneasy.
• Be patient. If the timing isn’t right, it's better to pause and reflect before proceeding.
• Always show respect and compliment them politely. For example: "You look stunning today."