How to start a new life from the very depths of existence

J.K. Rowling was absolutely right when she said, 'The bottom of the abyss became the solid foundation upon which I built my new life.' Sometimes, you must fall to the lowest depths to uncover the strength to rise again. If you want to start anew from the deepest pit of life, you need to enhance your lifestyle for stable income, eliminate bad habits, and adopt a proactive mindset. Things will be easier when you take care of both your body and mind throughout this journey.

Complain a little. That's right. This is the first step to starting over. You need to feel your emotions. Suppression will only cause you to 'explode.' Moreover, when you acknowledge your feelings, you will be driven to change your current situation. The only way for you to act is by becoming aware of your situation and recognizing that you despise it. Go ahead, vent. You're frustrated. That’s how life is.

• Share your struggles. Do you see how people on diets often need a partner, or at least want to share their experiences with the world? It's a way to get support and hold themselves accountable. The same goes here. Even if you find just one person, you'll have someone to rely on—someone who can guide you back on track whenever you slip. We all need that kind of support.

Take a break. The issue is that right now, you need rest. Sometimes, life requires a pause. Depending on your circumstances, grab a KitKat bar and take a short break. Begin recharging, preparing for the great efforts ahead that will lead you to take control of your life.

• If you are employed, you may need to request time off. Don’t take too long or you might risk losing your job. Just one or two days will be enough to reflect and refocus. This time is entirely for you.

Stable income. Everyone has a clear ranking of their personal needs. Most of us need money. To have food, you need money in your pocket. You don’t need a fortune, but to climb higher on the needs ladder (and start thinking about moving forward), you need a stable income.

• In short, start job hunting if you’re unemployed. You’ll likely spend 40 hours a week searching for work. Finding a job is tough in today’s economy, but eventually, you will land one. You need to focus seriously on your job search, never missing out on any opportunity or information.

Complete your education. This becomes even more critical if you haven’t finished high school. You need a high school diploma to get a job. All you need to do is search online and call the local adult education centers. Most of them can help you plan your tuition and set you on the right path. And, asking won’t hurt, right?

• If you’ve attended university but didn’t graduate, consider returning. Not only will it expand your career options, but it will also make you feel better about yourself. You’ll feel like you’ve achieved something. After all, the bottom of life is just a state of mind. Many people might appear to be at the bottom from the outside, yet they feel like they are on top of the world. Graduating from university can totally change your mindset.

Give up harmful habits. If you smoke, drink alcohol, or engage in other addictive behaviors, stop. Otherwise, you won’t be able to improve yourself. For real progress, you must leave your old habits behind. You are responsible for your own well-being.

• Imagine the kind of person you want to become. Does that person rely on anyone or anything else? When working to start your new life, why settle for a future that’s less than your ideal? You are responsible for yourself to become the best version you can be. Without breaking bad habits, you can never build good ones.

Adopt a proactive mindset. You need to adjust your thinking if you want to radically change your situation and start a completely new life. Think, act, and dress like a completely new person, and of course, have new friends. However, to do this, you need to begin thinking positively and with determination. There's no room for words like 'I can't,' 'what if,' or 'maybe' here. Want to restart your life? You will do it.

• By training your mind differently, you might resolve your situation entirely. After all, what else are you but your thoughts? Although no one can detail how to change your thinking, the following parts of this article will make the process much easier. Positive thinking and confidence will help you fully realize your potential.

Clearly define the person you want to become. What will your appearance be like? How will you dress? What kind of relationships will you have? Where will you live? What kind of car will you drive? Spend 15 minutes with your eyes closed, imagining the life you want and how you would feel in it. Create a vivid picture of this perfect life in your mind. You must believe that the person you’re visualizing will indeed be you.

• You need to know your destination so that you can figure out where and how to begin your journey. What do you want your ending to look like? What goals do you want to achieve? Write them down. Everyone needs something to strive for, because no one is perfect. This is your chance to set goals for yourself. These will be your guiding lights.

Take a shower. This may sound silly, but to clear your mind, you need to first cleanse your body. To start fresh, you must feel refreshed. The dust and grime on your body will only remind you of your current situation.

• As mentioned earlier – 'the bottom of life' is just a mental state that can come and go easily. Taking a shower (and other seemingly trivial tasks) becomes a trick to relax, reduce stress, and signal to your mind that it’s time to reset. You are not only cleaning your body but also preparing for change.

Exercise. This might seem odd, right? Who at the bottom of life has the willpower (or even the ability) to exercise? But the key is, you can’t think about it in a one-dimensional way. In fact, think of it the other way around. Do successful people exercise, or do people who exercise become successful? What should we focus on here, the chicken or the egg?

• The first thing you need to address when feeling down is your body. You lie in bed all day, and when you open your eyes to the sun, you just want to shut it out. Furthermore, this becomes a vicious cycle, spiraling into a worse situation. Your body starts to sag, dragging your mind down with it. When you exercise, your mind will gradually follow your body’s lead instead of the other way around. You’ll feel happier, look better, and you’ll become better by exercising – which will help you face this chaotic world.

Focus on healthy eating. You suddenly spend hours eating canned food, packaged alcohol, and ice cream while nibbling on self-hatred. After indulging in excess, you feel terrible – and that only triggers the same cycle again. The only thing you can do at that point is collapse on the couch, hoping the indigestion will soon pass. Not very effective, huh?

• Food should fuel you, not make you tired and discouraged. After a healthy meal, your body will feel better, and you’ll feel better too. Do you see the pattern here? To escape the depths, you need to feel well enough to improve your situation (not necessarily to be perfect). Eating healthy is one of the psychological tricks to help your mind feel at ease.

Take care of your appearance. This doesn’t mean you have to chase materialism or vanity. However, a beautiful appearance can boost your mood. So after exercising and taking a refreshing shower, throw on something nice and go out. You deserve it.

• Being mindful of your appearance can change the way you perceive everything – and how others treat you (unfortunately, it’s true). Once you find inner confidence, you can transform your behavior for the better. The world may treat you more kindly, and from there, you’ll become more compassionate with yourself.

Stop negative thinking. Yes, you! Stop right there. You know how those thoughts go. Instead of rational, helpful thoughts, you find yourself thinking: "I’m a total failure – no matter how hard I try, I’ll never amount to anything, so why bother trying?" Here’s some news for you: those thoughts are not the truth. They’re just feelings, and feelings can change.

• When you catch yourself in negative thinking, force yourself to stop right then or add something else to turn it into a positive thought. "I’m a total failure" can be turned into "I may have failed at this one thing today, but tomorrow is a new day." Don’t let yourself fall into black-and-white thinking. Nothing is absolute. There’s a saying, "And this too shall pass," and it’s perfect for moments like this.

Revisit old hobbies and explore new ones. When you’re lost in aimless naps and binge-watching shows, it’s easy to forget the person you once were. To break free from that rut, you need to do some things you might not want to – one of them is returning to your old life (before hitting rock bottom). Force yourself to pick up the instrument you once played. Cook if you used to enjoy cooking. These things may not seem appealing, but rediscovering things that once brought you joy can act as a catalyst for the change you need.

• In addition to keeping old (and good) habits, you can build new ones. Proactivity (both physical and mental) will help you break through the apathy and lifelessness that’s consuming you. Are there any opportunities at school or work? Is a friend trying something you find interesting? Is there a way to use your free time meaningfully? In other words, what could distract you?

Make a daily to-do list. Each day, fatigue will come knocking. The dawn arrives, and the only reason you get out of bed is to use the bathroom. In situations like this, a to-do list becomes very useful. Write down the small things you want to achieve that day – no need for big tasks – just enough to get you out of bed and have an effective day.

• This depends on the length of the journey you’ve been on. It might be "send out 5 job applications", "run 3 kilometers", or "strike up a conversation with a stranger." Think about what you want to achieve in the near future – what small things can you do each day to reach those goals?

Help others. Another way to pull yourself out of your own world and engage with others (which might just be less scary) is by helping people. Helping others not only makes them happy, but their happiness will also bring joy to you. You’ll experience immediate gratification.

• Look for small opportunities in addition to the big ones. Take your neighbor’s dog for a walk, help an expectant mother carry her groceries, assist a family member – all these little things will gradually add up. You’ll feel that life has more purpose, you’ll make new friends, and you’ll improve the world around you. It’s a win-win.

Surround yourself with positive influences. Chances are, the people around you have contributed to the difficult situation you’re facing right now. It’s unfortunate to admit, but those around you may be holding back your potential. Are your current relationships leaving you exhausted and discouraged? Even if your answer is "maybe," it’s best to redirect your energy elsewhere.

• Sometimes, you need to end toxic friendships. We all grow, and your friends may not align with the new version of you. That’s perfectly normal. If a friend (or significant other) doesn’t make you happy, it might be time for them to leave.

Move to a new place. It’s easier said than done, but if your current situation is largely due to your location (lack of job opportunities, no friends), consider moving – when your finances allow. Moving doesn’t have to be extravagant, but changing your environment can bring many benefits. What better way to refresh yourself than by refreshing your senses?

• After you move, you’ll quickly forget everything from your previous life. Who were you back then? If you have sad memories tied to your current place, think this decision through carefully. Is there a place you can move to while maintaining your support network? Consider whether the move is worth it (even though it’s a tough decision). Moving is like being given a whole new world.

Be patient with yourself. Honestly, a new life won’t come to you overnight. This process may take years. You’ll make small, steady progress that you might not notice. Imagine you’re trying to lose 30 grams every day. You won’t notice a difference for a long time – but one day, your clothes will become too loose.

• By the time you realize it, you may have become so wonderful, happy, and content that you won’t even remember when you were at rock bottom. Just wait for that moment – the moment when you wake up and think, "Hmm, I used to be like that, didn’t I?" That moment will come; it always does. Remember, the night is always darkest just before the dawn.

Focus during transitions. This is another way of saying, "Slow down before the speed bump." Sometimes, you’ll feel overwhelmed – pulled back to that dark place, perhaps even worse (is there a place darker than rock bottom?). In those moments, you need to stay focused, maintain a positive mindset, and acknowledge that times like these are perfectly normal.

• You are working on something very challenging – balancing your old life with the new. No one expects you to get this right easily. In fact, people are more than willing to help you. Friends are like that. Remember, while transition phases can be chaotic, they are temporary. Stay focused and you will get through them.

Nurture your passions. You’re steadily moving forward. Fantastic. Now is the time to discover something new that excites you, something that pushes you forward and keeps negative thoughts at bay. What comes to mind immediately? Any passion will do, as long as it’s something you truly care about. This passion will fill your time, drive your creativity, and give you a sense of purpose. Passion is truly amazing.

• You’ll feel immense satisfaction when you master a skill. The joy increases when you’re really good at something you love. Nurturing your passion, whatever it may be, can boost your self-esteem. Your mindset will become stronger, and you won’t face the depths of despair anymore. That feeling will be gone.

Have a stable and comfortable routine. After coming up with many new and exciting ideas, your next step is to incorporate them into your daily life. It may take a few weeks, but everything – work, socializing, hobbies, free time – will soon fall into place. There’s no reason it shouldn’t.

• The good news is, your routine will form naturally. As long as you stick to your priorities (taking care of both body and mind as mentioned earlier), everything will work out.

• Recognize that you’re starting a new life, and you need to act like a new person.
• Remember your reason. When planning your new life, define why you want to achieve a specific goal. This is crucial because it will fuel your motivation.
• Find a support group (online or in-person). This group will likely have people who’ve been in your shoes. You might feel lost at first, but they know exactly what you’re going through.
• You can do it! There's a saying, "You can do anything if you put your mind to it," and it’s very true in this case.
• Do what you do best – be yourself. Sometimes, you may feel like you’ve hit rock bottom for personal reasons, as if someone or something is causing this feeling. But you know, you can’t please everyone. Just because someone doesn’t like who you are now doesn’t mean others won’t appreciate you later. Just stay true to yourself.
• Be around positive people in environments filled with positive energy.