Buzz
Texting is the fastest and simplest way to initiate a conversation with someone you're interested in. It’s less stressful and more straightforward than face-to-face interactions or phone calls, and repeatedly calling might make you seem overly controlling. Take a deep breath, gather your courage, and grab your phone to get started.
Steps
Starting the Conversation
Ask for their phone number. The best time to do this is during the peak of a conversation. Gently suggest it and make it feel natural.
- Use simple phrases like, "What kind of phone do you have? I just got a new one. Let’s exchange numbers!"
- Right after getting their number, there might be a moment of awkwardness. Keep the conversation flowing to make the exchange feel as natural as possible.
Plan ahead!
- Before texting, think about what you want to say or the information you hope to gather by the end of the conversation.
Start texting. Questions like "What are you up to?" or "What are you planning to do?" are great ways to kick off a conversation.
- If they respond with activities like watching TV, listening to music, or gaming, dive deeper by asking more about what they're doing. No matter their reply, always be ready to ask follow-up questions to keep the conversation flowing.
- If they give a closed response like "I'm doing homework," you can keep the chat alive by saying, "The deadline's still far away. I bet it'll take forever to finish all that!" Or, if they don’t go to your school: "Oh really? Is it a lot of work?"
- Share what you're doing too. When they tell you about their activities, reply with something like, "That sounds fun! I’ve just been scrolling through Facebook all day." Or whatever you’re currently doing.
Pay attention to their reactions. Notice their responses to gauge if they’re enjoying the conversation, if it’s engaging enough, and if you’re ready to take the next step, like asking them out.
- If their replies are short and dry, end the conversation with something like, "Alright, let’s talk later" or "Catch you later" (paired with a cute emoji). They might be busy or not in the mood. Don’t force the conversation, as it can make you seem annoying or unattractive.
- If they reply with a question like "What are you up to?" it means they want to keep talking. Let the conversation flow naturally and let them end it first. Stay engaged and stay on topic.
- Look for opportunities to take the relationship further. If the texting frequency increases and they start sharing personal stuff or venting about their problems, you can suggest, "Let’s talk in person, it’s easier to share that way."
- Be brave. When the time feels right, ask them out. You might get rejected, but don’t lose heart—there will be plenty of other chances.
Other ways to start a conversation
Text them: "How was school today?" If they reply with something like, "It was okay" or "Same as usual," you can follow up by asking about homework, lab experiments, upcoming reports, or tests.
Use holidays and special occasions as conversation starters.
- Text them right before Christmas or their birthday and ask about their plans for celebrating the special day.
- If you text after the holiday, use it as a topic: "Did you have a good birthday, Nam? Where did you go?"
- Learn about holidays you’re unfamiliar with. For example, if they observe a vegetarian day on the full moon and you don’t, ask them about it.
- Text them during Lunar New Year and ask about their preparations, then share your own stories.
Ask about their family. They might complain about their siblings or talk about a younger sibling who just started college. If you have siblings too, respond empathetically: "Same here, my younger sister is really stubborn." You can also ask about their parents or even their pets.
Talk about their hobbies.
- If they play sports, ask about recent matches.
- If they enjoy music, movies, or are part of clubs, ask about their favorite songs, films, or club activities.
- If they’ve recently won a competition, send them a congratulatory message.
Send supportive messages. If they’ve had a bad day or received a low grade, send a comforting text: "Hang in there, things will get better! Let me know if you need any help!"
Rules to remember
Timing your replies. You have plenty of characters to craft a thoughtful message. There’s no need to reply instantly. Take your time to read the message and think before responding.
Phone bill awareness. Either have an unlimited texting plan or use your characters wisely. You definitely don’t want your parents frowning when the phone bill arrives.
Avoid abbreviations. Using shortcuts can make you seem shallow and unreliable. Save abbreviations for close friends, but with someone special, write complete sentences and use proper capitalization.
Be cautious with emojis. It’s fine to use smiley or crying faces, but save flirty emojis for when you’re absolutely sure about their feelings for you. Make sure they’re 99% into you before using lovey-dovey symbols.
Let them initiate texts sometimes. Don’t message them too often. Once or twice a week is enough, or you might come across as clingy.
Tips
- Always end with a question or an easy-to-respond statement if you want them to reply to your message.
- If they don’t initiate texts, it might be because they don’t vibe with your conversation style. Stay calm and learn more about their interests.
- Use your sense of humor (if you have one) to your advantage. People tend to like those who can make them laugh.
- Always start with an open-ended question. Make them feel comfortable before diving into personal topics.
- Keep the conversation light and relaxed. Never make declarations like "I love you" over text.
- Always be yourself, and don’t let others influence you.
- Avoid sending overly long messages; keep them concise.
- Don’t text when you’re with friends or let them hold your phone. They might complicate things.
- Don’t text too much, or they might find you annoying.
- Avoid being overly eager; girls don’t usually like that.
Warnings
- Don’t text under the influence of drugs or alcohol. You might send messages you’ll regret later.
- Think carefully before texting. They might get scared off if you come on too strong early on. Avoid sending inappropriate images or using vulgar language. Most importantly, don’t do anything that makes you uncomfortable.
What You’ll Need
- A mobile phone
- Sufficient phone credit for texting
