Buzz
Whether you've just ended a relationship or are looking to break free from negative relationship patterns, there are times when you simply want to stop falling in love. If this describes your current situation, you're likely struggling to regain control of your emotions. You can achieve this by focusing on yourself for a while and implementing strategies to reduce the chances of falling for someone again. It might also help to revisit the reasons why you're avoiding romantic entanglements, so you can finally put an end to toxic relationships from your past.
Steps
Focus on Yourself
Make it clear to everyone that you enjoy being single. If you want to discourage potential suitors from interfering with your plans, be upfront about your intentions. Let your friends, family, and acquaintances know that you're not interested in pursuing love.
- For example, you could add “happy being single” to your social media profiles to make your stance clear. This way, people won’t try to set you up or encourage others to pursue you.
- If someone expresses genuine interest in you, remind them that you’re content with being single and only see them as a friend.
Focus on achieving your goals. Avoid developing romantic feelings by dedicating your full attention to your career or other ambitions. Create a vision board and remove anything related to love from it. Develop a clear plan to achieve your goals and prioritize it above all else.
- Remember, overly prioritizing your goals can harm your social relationships if you don’t make time for family and friends.
Ask others to remind you to stay on track. In reality, avoiding all temptations is impossible. You might easily meet someone at work or while hanging out with friends. To avoid distractions, call your friends and family to help you stay grounded. Let them know you’re not interested in romantic entanglements right now and ask them to help you stay committed to your decision.
- For example, a coworker could remind you of your goals whenever they notice you laughing a little too much at the jokes of the new guy at the office. A close friend could help you resist the charm of the bartender at your favorite bar.
Take care of yourself. This is essential for healing emotional wounds. Do what it takes to care for yourself and prioritize your health and happiness. Even if you fall in love again someday, continue to maintain this routine.
- Self-care can include eating nutritious meals, exercising for at least 30 minutes daily, getting 7-9 hours of sleep each night, and spending time on your hobbies and passions.
Love yourself instead of someone else. A great way to reduce the likelihood of falling for someone else is to love yourself. Sometimes people rush into relationships because they feel unattractive or believe it’s hard to find love. When you cherish and love yourself, you won’t need to rely on others to provide that for you.
- Remind yourself how amazing you are by listing your strengths daily. Treat yourself to romantic dinners, movies, or concerts. Compliment yourself as couples in love do, and don’t forget to buy yourself special gifts.
- Moreover, your self-assured and self-respecting attitude will show others how you expect to be treated. If you do fall in love someday, your partner will know what you expect. Don’t hesitate to give yourself affection, kindness, and respect.
Dealing with New Crushes and Old Flames
Maintain distance from that person. The most crucial factor in managing feelings for someone is reducing the time spent near them, especially when no one else is around. Avoid seeing them as much as possible. If complete avoidance isn't feasible, try not to end up in situations where it's just the two of you alone.
Block them on social media. It's hard to let your emotions settle if you're still following them online, so keep your distance digitally as well. Unfriend them on all social media accounts. If that feels too drastic, consider using an app to manage your social media activity—if you can't access Facebook, you won't be able to check their profile.
Stop flirting and charming. If possible, you should also restrain the other person's feelings. Avoid doing anything that might give them hope. Compliments, touches, or seemingly harmless glances can send signals that you're interested, so steer clear of such gestures.
Focus on their flaws. Love can make even a crooked gourd seem round. When you're infatuated, you tend to see only the good in someone. To manage your emotions, try to view them with a clear and realistic perspective.
Remind yourself they're no longer available. You might want to avoid getting entangled with them because they've lied about their relationship status. If they're already in a relationship, picture their partner's name or face whenever you think of them. This can help you stay grounded.
Acknowledge that the heart has its own reasons. Loving someone and acting on emotions are two entirely different things. Sometimes, no matter how hard you try, your heart won't stop racing for someone. Even so, if you don't want to maintain that relationship or aren't ready for love, don't act on your feelings.
Address your issues in love
Examine your hesitations about love. It's understandable to push people away out of fear of getting hurt or disappointed, but doing so means you might miss the chance to find someone truly meant for you. Try to address the root causes of your emotions. You can journal or confide in a friend.
Reflect on your dating habits. If your past relationships have left you hurt, it's no surprise you might not want to love again. However, if you look back at your dating experiences and typical relationships, you might find better luck next time.
Change your dating habits. Try altering something to change your romantic fortune. For example, if you always pick dates at bars, consider joining a club or walking in the park to meet someone different who might lead to a different outcome.
Consider dating a different type of person. Another reason you might want to stop loving someone is because you keep choosing the same type of person. Perhaps you often go for someone who is already taken, has a negative influence on you, or avoids commitment. Changing the type of person you date could lead to different outcomes.
- Reflect on the kind of people you usually fall for. When you're ready to date again, look for someone completely different.
- For instance, if you're usually drawn to 'bad boys,' try dating someone more responsible. You might find happiness with someone who is serious and reliable rather than someone who is impulsive and carefree. Give it a try and see how it goes.
Take your time. Are you the type who falls in love within a week? If so, your impulsiveness might be why your relationships often don't work out. Before diving into a new romance, slow things down to give yourself more time to evaluate your potential partner's personality and see if they're a good match for you.
- Think about the pace of your relationships. If you usually spend entire weekends with someone new, try going on a single date and waiting a few days before seeing them again. If you tend to get physically close on the first date, wait longer before becoming intimate.
Put your fears aside. If you're afraid of love or commitment, the only way to overcome that fear is to face it. Develop a plan and take small steps to push past your fears.
- For example, if you're worried that love will make you give up on your dreams, perhaps you value those dreams more than any potential partner. Make sure to prioritize those goals early in the relationship when you're most likely to lose focus.
Seek professional therapy. Your fear of love might stem from emotional trauma, such as abuse or rejection. You might be afraid to let someone into your life, keeping others at a distance. Whatever the cause, a therapist can help identify and create a plan to overcome those fears.
- Ask your general physician for a referral to a therapist in your area.
