How to Stop Being the Person Who Craves Attention

Everyone seeks attention at different points in life. However, some individuals have a constant desire to attract it. Those who seek attention often do so to mask feelings of inferiority and insecurity. If you recognize yourself as this type of person, there are ways you can practice to avoid such behaviors.

Engage in an artistic activity. Those who crave attention often behave inauthentically, aiming to gain attention rather than to express their true selves. Doing something creative is a great way to express yourself genuinely and learn to be yourself. You can choose any form of art you like, such as painting, writing, music, singing, or crafting.

• If you’ve never been involved in creative work, you might feel hesitant. Start with something that excites you, even if you’re unsure of your talent.
• Remember, what you create is for yourself. Learn to express yourself creatively without worrying about what others think or planning to show off your work.

Use social media constructively. People who crave attention often misuse social media. It’s perfectly fine to use social media to connect with friends and stay updated on current events. However, if you notice you’re using it to seek attention, think carefully before posting.

• Be aware if most of your posts are just bragging or exaggerating.
• Consider if your posts are often about complaining or seeking praise and support.
• People who crave attention might post things like, "Partied like crazy with my awesome friends!", while you could just share a picture with friends and a caption like, "Grateful for the amazing friends I have."
• If you need support, instead of saying, "Today is the worst day of my life. I just want to disappear," try, "I had a rough day. Anyone up for a chat? I could use some support." You’re allowed to ask for help on social media, but remember to keep those conversations private if someone offers to listen."

Focus on others. When you’re constantly seeking attention, you become overly focused on yourself. Shift your attention and try focusing on others. There are many ways to do this. You could spend time with people you care about, volunteer, or take the time to learn about others.

• Is there someone in your community who needs help? You could volunteer to cook for a charity or offer your time at a children’s shelter or tutoring center.
• Spend quality time with family and friends, asking them about their lives. Show them how much you care by genuinely listening and investing time in conversation.
• There are many creative ways to show you care. For example, you could organize a clothing donation drive or lead a neighborhood cleanup event.
• However, avoid comparing yourself to others, as this can create feelings of inferiority. Often, we compare our mundane experiences to the highlight reels of others, which makes us feel less competent. This only fuels our desire for more attention.

Forgive yourself. Dwelling on mistakes is unhealthy, yet many people have the habit of beating themselves up over past events. Allow yourself the grace to forgive and learn from your mistakes.

• You can’t change the past, but you can take valuable lessons from it. Remind yourself of how wonderful it is to learn something new and change your perspective going forward.
• If you reflect on times when you sought attention, forgive yourself for those actions. The fact that you’ve become aware of this behavior is a huge step toward preventing it in the future.
• Talk kindly to yourself, just like you would comfort a friend going through a tough time. Tell yourself, "I know I didn’t do my best this time, but I tried my hardest. Everyone has their awkward moments. That’s okay, and I’ll do better next time."

Practice living authentically every day. Find ways to help you live authentically each day. This means doing things you enjoy or affirming something important about yourself.

• Learn to be yourself and act truthfully, without worrying about what others think. You can do this each day by doing something that makes you feel like your true self, in tune with your current emotions. For example, honestly say something you’ve been hesitant to express, like, "Actually, I don’t really like that café." Or wear an outfit that feels comfortable, even if it’s not the most stylish.
• You can also encourage yourself to accept who you are. Remind yourself, "I have my own worth, I am lovable in my own way," or "I accept and love all aspects of myself, and I’m working on growing and changing."

Practice mindfulness. Mindfulness means focusing on the present, not getting lost in thoughts and emotions that pull you away from reality. You can practice mindfulness through meditation, but there are other ways to achieve it.

• You could read books or visit websites that guide meditation practices, or join a beginner-friendly meditation class. Apps like Insight Timer, Calm, or Headspace are also helpful.
• If meditation isn’t for you, you can practice mindfulness by becoming aware of the physical sensations your body is experiencing. If distracted by feelings of guilt, shame, or unpleasant memories, shift your awareness to the feeling of fabric against your skin or the sensation of your feet on the ground.

Commit to change. It’s difficult to change without a purposeful commitment. If you want to change or eliminate your desire for attention, make a commitment to do so and take specific steps to achieve your goal.

• Write down your commitment. You could pin it to a calendar or mark the day you commit to change.
• Set daily or weekly goals, like, "I will meditate for 5 minutes each day" or "I will dedicate 5 hours a week to volunteer for a charity organization".
• Share your plan with others. Tell a trusted friend or family member. They can help monitor your progress and keep you accountable to your commitment.

Spend quality time alone. If you crave attention, you may try to spend time with lots of people. Practice setting aside time for yourself as well. Try setting goals for how much alone time you will have each day or week.

• When you’re by yourself, do things you enjoy. This makes spending time alone more interesting and fulfilling. You could read your favorite books or magazines, take a walk in the park, or invest time in a hobby.
• At first, you may feel uncomfortable being alone. However, once you push through the initial discomfort, you may start to enjoy the solitude.

Track your progress. Once you start making positive changes, take time to reflect on your journey and monitor how far you’ve come. You can keep a journal, ask trusted people for feedback, or take time to review your days or weeks.

• Be kind to yourself. Significant change doesn’t happen overnight.
• Celebrate each positive step forward. Acknowledge your efforts. Tell yourself, "Well done. I gave it my best and it worked!"

Rely on friends and family. Surely, someone you know can be honest with you. This should be someone you know will always care for you and want to help. You will need to trust their opinions and be ready to listen, no matter how difficult it may be. This could be a sibling, aunt, close friend, or colleague.

• Choose someone you see regularly and interact with. That way, they can notice your everyday behavior.
• Ensure that person is willing to tell you things you may not want to hear.
• Make sure this person is kind and understanding, even if it means sharing tough feedback.

Ask for honest feedback. Share with that person the behaviors you're concerned about and ask them to observe you. From there, they can let you know if they notice your emotional reactions are exaggerated or blown out of proportion.

• If you're unsure about what behaviors to address, you can simply tell them you're worried about being a drama-seeker. Ask them to point out behaviors that show this.
• You can also ask if they see you as someone who craves attention.
• You might say something like, "I'm working on curbing my attention-seeking behavior. Do you notice it? Can you keep an eye on me and let me know if I start doing things to draw attention?"

Join a support group. Attention-seeking behavior is often linked to addiction or specific personality traits. If you're not struggling with any substance addiction, you may not need a support group. However, if you notice compulsive behavior or signs of addiction in yourself, consider seeking out a support group.

• Common addictions that accompany attention-seeking behavior include alcohol addiction, drug abuse, and uncontrolled eating habits.
• Being attention-seeking does not necessarily mean you're at high risk for addiction.
• Getting help from a group can be beneficial if you don't have any family or friends to support you.
• You can search for support groups online. If there aren't any in your local area, online groups can also offer assistance.

Seek therapy. If you don't have anyone or any group to help, you can turn to a psychologist. A psychologist can assist you in addressing behavioral issues and uncovering the underlying causes behind them.

• You can choose individual therapy or group therapy, depending on what feels right for you.
• Search online for a list of local therapists. Many websites provide profiles of therapists, where you can check their expertise and experience to see if they align with your concerns.
• Some therapists accept insurance or offer pricing based on your situation.