How to Stop Bullying

Bullying doesn't only happen in movies or books. It's a serious problem that many teenagers face daily, and it can become even more dangerous if left unchecked. Learn how to stop bullying by taking immediate action, knowing where to seek help, and setting a good example for others to follow. People harm each other because they often don't care about one another.

Look the bully in the eye and firmly ask them to stop. If the bully is taunting, insulting, or physically threatening you, sometimes making eye contact and calmly saying "no" clearly can be the best way to de-escalate the situation. Let the bully know that you DO NOT appreciate being treated this way and make it clear that they must stop immediately.

• If possible, try using humor to ease the tension. Bullies often want to get a rise out of their victims, so if you show them you're tough and unbothered, they might back off and leave you alone.
• Avoid raising your voice when asking the bully to stop. This might only provoke them further, making them taunt you more to get a reaction.

Avoid escalating the situation. Provoking the bully by insulting them or threatening to fight will only make things worse. Don't shout or resort to physical violence. Doing so will only make the bully continue and could lead to trouble for you as well if you're caught in a physical altercation.

Know when to turn and walk away. If the situation becomes threatening or dangerous, the best course of action is to walk away. Stepping away from the bully is key. At some point, reasoning with them won't make a difference.

• If you're worried about your safety, seek help from a trusted teacher or school counselor to assist in handling the situation.
• Avoid further contact with the bully until you've implemented other methods to stop the harassment.

Don't respond to online bullying (cyberbullying). If you're being bullied through text messages, social media, your website, email, or other online platforms, don't retaliate. Reacting to the bully will often make things worse, especially when the bully is anonymous. Instead, take these steps:

• Save the evidence. Don't delete threatening emails, online messages, or texts. You might need them if the situation worsens.
• Block the bully. If you know who they are, block them on your social media, remove them from your contacts, and prevent their emails. This will make it harder for the bully to continue. If the bully is anonymous, mark their emails as spam.
• Change your account settings to make it harder for them to know when you're online. You can update your username or tighten the security settings on your social media accounts.

Don't wait too long. If the bullying has reached a point where you're scared to go to school, losing sleep, or it negatively impacts your life, seek help from trusted adults immediately.

Inform the school management about your issue. As bullying in schools has become quite common, every school has implemented specific policies to effectively address and eradicate this problem. Let the principal or school counselor know about your situation so that this issue can be resolved as soon as possible. Several measures will be taken to punish or establish a mediation board to deal with the problem.

• Remember that other students in your school might be facing similar issues, and the rules and regulations are put in place for good reasons.
• If you are a parent, set up a meeting with the school management instead of trying to handle the situation on your own.

Report the situation of online bullying to the service provider. This form of bullying has become so widespread that phone and internet service providers have prepared specific plans to deal with it. Call your service provider to report the incident of online bullying so that they can take action to prevent the person from continuing to contact you. You may need to provide the phone number or the content of emails you have saved to the service provider.

Initiate legal proceedings. Bullying that causes repeated emotional or physical harm could become a basis for legal action. If the measures taken by the school or the parents of the bully do not resolve the issue, you might consider hiring a lawyer to pursue legal action.

Report to the local police. Some forms of bullying can be quite dangerous, and certain acts can even be considered criminal offenses. If the bullying you're facing has any of the following elements, report it to the police:

• Physical violence. If the bullying is causing physical harm, and you are concerned about your health or safety, notify the police.
• Stalking and threats. If someone invades your personal space and threatens you, this is a criminal act.
• Threats of killing or violent acts.
• Disseminating images or videos intended to damage your reputation without your consent, including “sensitive” images or videos.
• Hateful or threatening behavior.

Make sure you're not a bully in school. Reflect on how you treat your classmates. Are you bullying anyone, even unintentionally? People sometimes say unkind things to each other, but if you tend to treat others poorly, stop it, even if your actions don't clearly show bullying. Always strive to be kind, even if you don't like the person.

• Don’t tease others unless you clearly understand their sense of humor.
• Don’t spread rumors or speak ill of others – this too is a form of bullying.
• Don’t exclude or ignore someone.
• Never post someone’s pictures or personal information online without their consent.

Protect others. If you notice someone being bullied in your school, stand up for them. Just doing something protective may not be enough to help them; you should actively protect the victim from further harm. You can intervene by talking to the bully if you feel safe doing so or report what you've seen to the school authorities.

• If your friends speak ill of someone, let them know that you won’t be part of that behavior.
• "Wrong will still be wrong, even if everyone is doing it, and right will still be right, even if no one is doing it." If someone is teasing another person but erases all evidence before others can learn about it, speak up. If the bully or your friends ridicule you for showing courage, it means they, unlike you, still feel insecure about how others perceive them. Don’t fear the crowd so much that you remain silent against wrongdoing.
• If you're part of a group trying to exclude someone, tell everyone that you want to join in because this is the right thing to do.
• If you see someone being bullied and are concerned for their safety, report it to the school authorities immediately.

Spread the word about the need to stop bullying. Many schools have anti-bullying campaigns led by students who aim to create a safe and friendly environment in their school. Join one of these groups or start your own to raise awareness about bullying and seek ways to resolve the issue.

Teach the younger generation how to channel their inner strength. Teach them that the way they choose to think about events and the actions or words of others will shape their emotions. People have many choices in how they perceive things and create their own emotions, and no one can interfere with this process unless we allow them to.

Teach young people to recognize and change their distorted thinking. Fortunately, psychiatrist Albert Ellis developed a simple model for us to follow. He stated that we make ourselves more miserable than necessary by focusing on four basic forms of distorted thinking: Demanding thoughts, Catastrophizing, Unbearable thoughts, and Labeling and Cursing.

Teach the younger generation to accept themselves unconditionally. Shame is the reason you may struggle to accept yourself. It often lurks before bullying begins. Adolescents often torment themselves for not being able to handle bullying on their own or for not dealing with it better. Shame is what causes them to hide this secret and avoid seeking or accepting help from others. Keeping the secret traps them in distorted thoughts, which eventually they begin to see as truths of life rather than just thoughts originating from within. These thoughts are often the root cause of school shootings or suicides triggered by bullying.

• Don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself or others. At the very least, you’ll have the courage to do so.
• Remember, being bullied is not your fault.
• Speak up. Don’t just stand there – take action.
• Don’t show them that they’re affecting you with anxiety, even if you really feel that way, as it will only encourage the bully to continue teasing you.
• Avoid isolating yourself. Seek help from friends.
• Be confident. You’ll have more friends, and others won’t target you if you show self-assurance.
• Join anti-bullying or student support groups. You can also participate in online support groups if you prefer not to publicly share your personal experience. If you do decide to join online communities, never share personal information like your phone number, address, full name, or city.
• Stand tall, walk confidently, and show bullies you don’t care.
• Share your concerns with someone you truly trust.
• Never lower yourself to the level of the bully.
• If something goes wrong, shout out, speak up loudly, and make noise.
• Bullies can change if they truly try with all their heart. Don’t lose hope!

• If you report bullying to an adult, make sure to accurately describe your actions in self-defense so that when they investigate, they will understand that you followed the rules instead of thinking you were simply an untruthful troublemaker.
• In emergencies, such as criminal actions that directly threaten health, life, or property, and when there has been no adult intervention, call 113 as quickly as possible. For non-urgent situations, where the crime isn't an immediate threat or when you can access them more quickly than the police, inform teachers, principals, nurses, school counselors, or your parents and let them assist you in reporting to the police.
• Remember, if someone touches you without your consent, this could be considered a crime, even if the person is a child. You should report this to a trusted adult unless it was such a minor act that you later consented after the fact.
• NEVER intervene yourself or back down from a bully; you're just putting yourself in danger. Always tell a trusted adult immediately.
• Understand self-defense but know your limits. Self-defense is meant to protect yourself from harm, sometimes physically, and sometimes through other means to avoid trouble. The purpose of physical self-defense is to protect yourself from harm. However, sometimes, self-defense can lead to accusations that you are the perpetrator, and this will require the decision of a judge. You need to decide if you should report the crime to the police after using self-defense.
• Report any criminal behavior when you feel safe to do so, but remember that the reporting process can be challenging. Many police officers, parents, teachers, etc., believe that reporting a crime involving a child in a school environment is completely wrong, and you should listen to their advice. Always be honest when reporting bullying to an adult. This is the best way to build trust with them.