How to Stop Crying

Crying is a natural emotional response, and it’s an understandable reaction to various experiences in life. However, there may be times when you find yourself in a situation where crying is not appropriate or timely. Alternatively, you may encounter someone else crying and wish to help them calm down. In any case, there are both physical and mental techniques that can help you stop crying.

Try blinking rapidly or focus on not blinking. For some people, blinking quickly multiple times can help distract them and pull the tears back into the tear ducts, preventing the first few drops from falling. On the other hand, others find that not blinking and opening their eyes wide actually stops the tears from forming by tightening the muscles around the eyes. You'll need to practice to figure out which technique works for you.

Press on your nose. Since the tear ducts originate from the side of the nose and lead to the tear ducts in the eyelids, pressing on the bridge of your nose and the sides while tightly closing your eyes can block the tear duct pathway. (This is most effective if done before tears begin to fall).

Smile. Studies show that smiling has a positive impact on mental health. It also affects how others perceive you in a favorable way. Moreover, smiling can counteract the symptoms of crying, helping you control your tears more easily.

Cool down. One way to calm tense or uncomfortable emotions is to splash cold water on your face. This not only creates a sense of relaxation but also helps to boost your energy and focus. You can also splash cold water on your wrists and the back of your ears. Just beneath the skin in these areas, major arteries pass through, and cooling the skin can provide soothing effects throughout your body.

Drink tea. Research has shown that green tea contains L-Theanine, which can help relax and reduce stress while also boosting alertness and concentration. So, the next time you feel overwhelmed and on the verge of tears, treat yourself to a cup of green tea.

Laugh out loud. Laughter is an easy and cost-effective form of therapy that can improve overall health and alleviate emotions that trigger crying or depression. Find something that makes you laugh and brings the comfort you need.

Try progressive relaxation techniques. Crying often occurs due to prolonged stress. This relaxation method helps the body release tension from tight muscles and soothes the mind. It is also a mindful practice, teaching you to recognize the physical sensations of frustration and tension versus the feelings of relaxation and calm. Start by tensing each muscle group in your body for about 30 seconds, beginning with your toes and gradually moving up to your head. This exercise is also beneficial in treating insomnia and restless sleep.

Take control. Research suggests that feelings of helplessness and passivity can often trigger crying. To prevent tears, shift your body from a passive state to an active one. This could be as simple as standing up and walking around the room, or clenching your hands into fists to engage your muscles, reminding your body that your actions are voluntary and under your control.

Use physical pain to distract. Physical pain can help you momentarily forget emotional pain, reducing the urge to cry. You might pinch yourself (for example, between your thumb and index finger or on the back of your hand), bite your tongue, or tuck your hands into your pockets and pull on your leg hair.

• If you notice that you’ve caused bruising or injury, immediately stop this method and try using one or more of the other techniques.

Step away. Literally remove yourself from the situation. If an argument is about to make you cry, politely ask to step away for a moment. Leaving the situation doesn’t mean you’re avoiding it, but rather allowing yourself time to focus your emotions and prevent the conflict from escalating. During this break, try other techniques to ensure you don’t cry when you return to continue the discussion. The goal is to regain emotional control.

Delay your tears. This is part of controlling your emotional responses. When you feel like you’re about to cry, remind yourself that it’s not the right time, but you’ll allow yourself to cry later. Take a deep breath and focus on holding back the emotions that are making you tear up. While this may be difficult at first, consciously recognizing your emotions and giving yourself permission to react at a more appropriate moment is a long-term strategy to cry at the right time.

• It’s important to note that completely suppressing tears at all times is never a good idea, as repression can lead to long-term emotional damage and increase symptoms of anxiety and depression. Be sure to find opportunities to express your emotions.

Practice meditation. Meditation is an ancient practice known for reducing stress, alleviating sadness, and relieving anxiety. You don’t need to be a yoga expert to benefit from meditation. Simply find a quiet space, close your eyes, and focus on your breath. Breathe in deeply and exhale slowly and evenly, and you’ll notice that negative feelings will almost instantly begin to fade away.

Find distractions. Look for something outside of your negative emotions to focus on. Think of something that brings you joy or makes you laugh. Watch funny animal videos online. You could also focus on something you’re looking forward to. If you’re someone who excels at problem-solving, try solving a puzzle or working on a small project. If that doesn’t help, imagine a peaceful scene and focus on the details that make you happy. This will force your brain to focus on something other than sadness, anger, or fear.

Listen to music. Music offers numerous benefits in managing stress. Calm, soothing music can help us relax, while songs with empathetic lyrics can inspire strength and help us reaffirm ourselves. Choose the type of music that suits you and wipe away your tears with a carefully selected playlist.

Be mindful. Focus on your present moment—whether it’s the taste of your food, the sensation of the breeze on your skin, or the feeling of your clothes as you move. When you focus on what’s happening now and pay close attention to your senses, mental stress will ease, and you’ll realize that the problems you’re facing aren’t as serious as they initially seemed.

Practice gratitude. We often cry when overwhelmed by the disappointments life brings or the challenges we face. Take a deep breath and remind yourself that the problem you're dealing with isn't as severe as others you've faced or might face in the future. Remind yourself of the good things you have and feel thankful. Keep a gratitude journal to help you recall your blessings, which will help you get through tough times.

Identify the source. Do you feel the urge to cry linked to certain emotions, events, people, or forms of pressure? Could it be stemming from something you can limit your exposure or interaction with?

• If the answer is “yes,” find ways to avoid or reduce contact with the source. This might involve steering clear of lengthy conversations with a colleague who hurts your feelings, or avoiding sad or violent movies.
• If the answer is “no,” consider seeking the help of a therapist to come up with coping strategies. This is especially important if you have identified the source of your negative emotions leading to tears as a conflict with family members or loved ones.

Become aware of emotions as they arise. While distractions are helpful when tears strike at inconvenient times, you should also make time to sit alone in a safe space and truly experience your emotions. Reflect internally, analyze how you feel, and explore possible causes and solutions. Ignoring or suppressing emotions at all times is counterproductive to healing and improving the issue. In fact, unresolved issues may still linger in your subconscious, triggering tears.

Collect the good things. Make a habit of managing negative thoughts and reminding yourself of the positive aspects of who you are. Strive to maintain a balance of one positive thought for every negative one whenever possible. Not only will this help you feel happier, but it will also prevent emotional outbursts by training your mind to acknowledge that no matter what happens, you are worthy and valuable.

Keep a journal to understand the root cause of your tears. If you find it hard to hold back tears or even can't understand why you're crying, journaling can help uncover the underlying issue. Writing can have a positive effect on your health, allowing you to see the benefits of a stressful event and clarify your thoughts and emotions. Writing about anger and sadness can relieve emotional tension and help you suppress tears. It will also help you understand yourself better, build confidence, and identify harmful situations or people that need to be removed from your life.

• Try journaling for about 20 minutes daily. Practice "free writing" where you don't worry about spelling, punctuation, or what should be written. Write quickly, so that you can't "censor" yourself. You'll be surprised by what you learn and how much better you feel.
• Journaling allows you to express your emotions freely, without judgment or restraint.
• If you've experienced a traumatic event, journaling can help process your emotions and actually give you a sense of control. Write about the event and the feelings you went through to make the most of journaling.

Seek help. If it seems like nothing can help you control your tears and negative emotions, and it starts affecting your relationships or career, take the first step toward a solution by reaching out to a therapist. Usually, issues can be resolved with behavioral therapy; however, if there is a medical cause, the therapist can guide you on appropriate medication.

• If you experience symptoms of depression, seek help from a counselor or psychiatrist. Symptoms of depression include: persistent sadness or feelings of "emptiness", hopelessness, guilt, and/or worthlessness; thoughts of suicide; decreased energy, difficulty sleeping or sleeping too much, loss of appetite or overeating, and/or weight changes.
• If you have thoughts of suicide, seek help immediately. You can call the hotline at 1800 1567 for counseling. If you are in the U.S., call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at (800) 273-8255, or visit IASP to find help in your country. Alternatively, you can reach out to someone you trust to share your feelings.

Know when you're grieving. Grief is a natural response to loss, whether it's the passing of a family member, the end of a relationship, a job loss, health problems, or any other form of loss. Grief is individual – there is no “right” way to express it, and no set time to grieve. You might experience it for weeks or years and go through many emotional ups and downs.

• Seek support from friends and family. Sharing your loss is one of the most important factors in healing from it. A support group or grief counselor can also be helpful.
• Over time, feelings of grief will ease. If you don’t notice any improvement, or if things seem to get worse, your grief might have developed into severe depression or complicated grief. Contact a therapist or grief counselor to get the help you need.

Understand the reasons behind a newborn’s cry. Remember that crying is the only form of communication newborns have to express their needs. Put yourself in their shoes and think about what might be bothering them. Common reasons newborns cry include:

• Hunger: Typically, newborns need to eat every two or three hours.
• Need for sucking: Newborns have a natural instinct to suck and nurse because they're fed this way.
• Loneliness: Babies need interaction to grow into healthy, happy children, and they often cry when they seek affection.
• Fatigue: Newborns need a lot of sleep, sometimes up to 16 hours a day.
• Discomfort: Consider the circumstances when your baby is crying to gauge their normal needs and desires.
• Overstimulation: Too much noise, motion, or visual stimuli can overwhelm a newborn and lead to crying.
• Illness: Often, the first sign that a baby is sick, allergic, or hurt is crying, or they may not respond to comforting gestures.

Ask questions with older children. Unlike the guessing games we play with infants, older children have more complex ways of communication, and we can ask them, "What's going on?" However, children can't always express themselves as clearly as adults, so it's important to ask simple questions and gauge when they can't describe the problem in detail.

Check if the child is injured. When a young child is upset, it might be hard for them to respond, so it's essential for parents and caregivers to be aware of the child's environment and physical condition when they're crying.

Distract the child. If a child is in pain or upset, you can help by diverting their attention until the pain subsides. Try focusing their attention on something they enjoy. Identify where the child might be hurt, but ask about all other parts of their body except the area that hurts the most. This way, the child will focus on other parts without thinking about the pain.

Comfort the child. Children often cry when reacting to punishment or after negative interactions with adults or other kids. When this happens, assess whether it's appropriate to intervene (e.g., having the child who caused trouble sit quietly), but always remind the child that they are safe and loved, no matter the conflict.

Let the child sit alone. Every child occasionally behaves poorly. However, if a child is crying, throwing a tantrum, or yelling to get what they want, it's crucial to stop linking bad behavior with gratification.

• If the child is a toddler or younger and throwing a tantrum, take them to a quiet room and let them sit there until they calm down. Bring them back to the social setting when they are no longer upset.
• If the child is older, knows how to follow instructions, and is throwing a tantrum, ask them to go to their room. Tell them that they can return once they've calmed down and explain what they wanted and why they were upset. This also teaches the child how to deal with anger and frustration effectively while ensuring they still feel your love and respect.

Ask if they need help. Unlike infants and young children, adults are capable of assessing their own condition and determining whether they need assistance. Before rushing to offer help, it's important to ask if they need it. If the person is emotionally hurt, they may need time and space to process their feelings before sharing with someone else. Sometimes, simply expressing a willingness to help can be enough to support someone facing sadness.

• If the situation isn't too serious and the crying person is open to distraction, try telling a funny story or sharing something humorous you saw online. If they are a stranger or someone you barely know, ask gentle questions about their interests.

Identify the cause of the pain. Is it physical or emotional pain? Did the person experience a shock, or are they a victim in some way? Ask questions, but also observe the situation and surrounding context for clues.

• If the person is crying and appears to need medical help, call emergency services immediately (115 in Vietnam, 911 in the U.S.). Stay with them until help arrives. If the person is in an unsafe location, move them to a safer spot if possible.

Provide appropriate physical contact. If the person is a close friend or family member, a hug or holding their hand might be comforting. Even a simple arm around their shoulder can offer support. However, different situations may require different types of physical contact. If you're unsure whether the person is comfortable with this kind of help, always ask them first.

Focus on the positive. You don't necessarily need to change the topic, but try to focus on the positive aspects of the situation causing their distress. For instance, if they have lost a loved one, mention the happy moments they shared with that person and their endearing qualities. If possible, recall joyful memories that could spark a smile or even laughter. When a person can laugh, it helps them hold back the tears and can improve their mood.

Let them cry. Crying is a natural response to sorrow. Unless it's an inappropriate or untimely situation, allowing someone to cry is often the safest and most beneficial choice, as long as no one is harmed in the process.

• If you suspect someone, or yourself, may be suffering from depression or if the crying is accompanied by self-harm, seek immediate assistance by contacting a doctor or visiting a suicide help line for support.