How to Stop Dwelling on Unwanted Thoughts

If certain thoughts or memories make you feel sad or anxious, you may be looking for a way to stop dwelling on them. Identifying the triggers that distract you can help you stop these discouraging or negative thoughts. Everyone faces stressors they wish to avoid, but sometimes these thoughts point to deeper issues such as anxiety, depression, or post-traumatic stress. Remember, the best way to truly overcome distressing thoughts or events (like abuse, catastrophic accidents, or mental illness) is to discuss them with a mental health professional. You can begin addressing the root cause of these negative or futile thoughts by exploring them.

Journal Writing. One reason stopping thoughts about something can be so challenging is because we keep trying to push them out of our minds. Unfortunately, this often makes them even stronger, leading to feelings of guilt or shame ("Why can't I stop thinking about this?"). Keeping a mental health journal creates space to explore your thoughts and emotions, even those that make you sad or anxious.

• Journaling allows you to acknowledge your thoughts and feelings, giving them space to just exist. Write in your journal whenever you feel overwhelmed by unwanted thoughts. Write them down, then close the journal, walk away, and do something else.
• Try to recall when these unwanted thoughts first began to appear. Was there a trigger? Is there an experience related to them? Are these thoughts interfering with your daily life?
• Journaling can enhance emotional stability by releasing anxiety and depression symptoms. Writing these thoughts in your journal can also create awareness of troubling thought patterns and help identify hidden triggers.
• Journaling about unwanted thoughts may also help confront repressed memories. If you've experienced abuse or a difficult childhood, write with the guidance of a specialist.

Break the Cycle of Overthinking. Overthinking refers to repeatedly dwelling on a problem. Essentially, it involves negative thoughts or worries. If you find yourself seeking a distraction from certain thoughts, you may be overthinking. It's important to break this habit, as overthinking is closely linked to severe depression. Here are a few ways to free yourself from overthinking:

• Seek multiple sources of self-esteem. You may be focusing on one flaw because you see it as a major part of your identity and uniqueness. Instead of just focusing on one weakness, highlight other aspects where you have talents and strengths. That way, any criticism (from others or yourself) won't affect you as deeply.
• Address issues one by one. If you catch yourself overthinking a specific issue, try to tackle it. Although it may seem overwhelming at first, breaking the problem down into smaller parts makes it manageable. Suddenly, the problem doesn't seem as frightening.
• Let go of unrealistic expectations and standards. Some people constantly expect perfection, either from themselves or from others. These expectations are unreasonable and unattainable, preventing you from adapting to life's challenges. If you are one of those people, you might feel inadequate or disappointed when you can't meet your own standards. Exercise self-restraint and set realistic expectations for yourself and others. Remember, everyone is only human — and humans are imperfect.

Practice Mindfulness Meditation. Mindfulness means being present in the moment. It’s a way of living in the now. The idea is to slow down your thoughts and consciously focus on the recurring thoughts in your mind.

• If you're a beginner, find a quiet place with minimal distractions. Sit comfortably in a chair or on a rug on the floor. Cross your legs (if sitting on the floor). Sit with an upright posture and rest your hands on your thighs. Breathe deeply and cleanse your breath by inhaling through your nose and exhaling through your mouth. Focus on your breath — pay attention only to your breathing. When your mind wanders, simply acknowledge it and return your focus to your breath, staying still.
• For beginners, aim for 5 to 10 minutes of mindfulness meditation before practicing for longer periods.
• Some forms of mindfulness meditation encourage you to focus solely on your breath, while others allow you to acknowledge each thought that enters your mind. To find the right type of mindfulness meditation for you, check out more articles in English on the Greater Good website.

Incorporate Mindfulness Practice into All Activities. A wonderful way to stay present and avoid getting lost in negative thoughts is to make mindfulness a daily habit. This can significantly reduce overthinking and the tendency to dwell on worries or concerns.

• When you wake up in the morning, take a deep breath and calm yourself. Do some gentle muscle stretches and notice how your muscles and joints feel as you stretch. Drink a glass of water and pay attention to the temperature, consistency, and how it feels as it flows down your throat. Be mindful in every activity throughout the day, whether it’s showering, brushing your teeth, eating, drinking, working, etc.
• When you finish each activity, avoid judging what you're doing or letting your mind wander. If you notice your mind straying, gently refocus and consider how the activity is affecting your senses.

Write, Draw, or Color. Use your hands and imagination to create something from nothing. Becoming creative can maximize happiness and give you positive feelings about what you're spending your time on. Additionally, some studies suggest that creativity can enhance cognitive function and problem-solving skills. Therefore, nurturing creativity can actually help you find solutions to the problems that are bothering you.

Cook or Bake. If you enjoy cooking or baking, these activities can help distract you from unpleasant thoughts. Preparing a meal can provide a sense of accomplishment and boost your confidence. Moreover, you can share the food you've prepared with others, spreading positive feelings.

• One important caution when cooking or baking is not to let it become an unhealthy coping mechanism, where you overeat to ease emotional discomfort or distract yourself from negative thoughts. Invite others to join you in the kitchen to minimize the risk of emotional eating — and to help you clean up afterward.

Try Solving Puzzles. Puzzles are often used in therapeutic settings because they require focus, patience, and creativity. They can effectively combat distractions, disorganized thinking, and motivational issues. For this reason, they also serve as a healthy distraction, as they require your full attention to solve.

• Find puzzles you enjoy and want to concentrate on. Sudoku and crossword puzzles are popular options and can be found just about anywhere.
• If you enjoy putting things together, try jigsaw puzzles. Seeing the pieces come together can provide a sense of achievement.
• Many mobile apps and websites offer puzzle games, so you can enjoy this healthy distraction anywhere.

Watch TV, DVDs, or Memes. Humor is highly effective in helping you escape negative thoughts or memories. Watching popular meme accounts can bring you joy and boost your spirits. Log into Instagram and search for “#meme” until you find accounts that match your sense of humor.

• Understand that excessive TV watching is a passive activity linked to shorter life expectancy and obesity.
• Avoid snacking while watching TV, as this can lead to mindless eating, which may make you feel worse.
• Try balancing TV time with physical activity, such as watching TV while on a treadmill or using an elliptical machine. If you don’t have these devices, do some exercises during commercial breaks or every 15 to 20 minutes.

Listen to Music. Music has been used to express emotions ever since humans first learned how to create it. Research has shown that music is effective in reducing stress and promoting relaxation.

• Music with a tempo of around 60 beats per minute can synchronize brainwaves with that rhythm, resulting in a calming effect.
• While many believe only “soft” music like classical, jazz, or New Age is relaxing, new studies suggest otherwise. A recent study found that listening to “intense” genres like Heavy Metal helped participants manage anger and regain positivity, even feeling inspired. The most important thing is to find the music that resonates with you. Listen to your favorite tunes and feel the connection.

Go Online. A moderate amount of time spent online can offer both entertainment and relaxation. When you go online, you can play games, browse shopping sites for clothes and accessories, reconnect with old friends on social media, read interesting articles on your favorite topics, or even write posts for Mytour. Keep track of how much time you spend online.

• Studies show that using technology for more than two hours can have potential harmful effects on children's health, leading to weight gain, irritability, and disturbed sleep. Try limiting your screen time and balance it with activities like spending time with family or friends, or going outside.

Read Books. Find an engaging novel, comic book, or magazine that catches your interest. Reading during your free time provides an escape from daily routines, boosting your creativity and imagination. It also improves cognitive abilities and vocabulary.

• Make sure to choose light-hearted or humorous topics to read, rather than heavy, sorrowful themes that may cause unwanted thoughts to linger.

Hit the Gym. Exercise can ease feelings of anxiety and stress by releasing endorphins, natural mood-enhancing chemicals produced by the body. Numerous studies have shown that people feel 'better' after engaging in moderate aerobic exercise. So, the next time you feel the urge to escape unpleasant thoughts, put on your sneakers and go for a run, or head to the gym to lift weights.

Gardening. Engage in gardening activities such as planting flowers, growing herbs, or cultivating a vegetable garden. Gardening offers three key benefits. First, being outdoors helps enhance positive feelings and reduce stress. Second, the physical activity involved produces endorphins, promoting well-being and preventing obesity. Third, growing your own herbs or food not only saves money but ensures you're maintaining a balanced, nutritious diet.

Take a Warm Bath or Soak in a Tub. Studies suggest that a warm bath can help reduce anxiety. Simply feeling warm can bring comfort and even enhance social interactions. Focus on the sensations your body experiences during a shower or bath: the water on your skin, the warmth surrounding you. Take deep breaths and allow this experience to become a mindfulness exercise, paying attention to and enjoying the comforting feelings in your body.

• Adding a few drops of lavender oil to your bath may also help you feel more relaxed and at ease.

Call or Visit Friends or Family. Whether they live near or far, whenever you feel like breaking free from distressing thoughts in a positive and healthy way, you can reach out to them. You can even let your friends or family know ahead of time that you plan to call them to avoid bringing up a particular topic—they'll be prepared.

• If your friends, parents, siblings, or loved ones live close by, plan a day out together. Go out, watch a movie, play bowling, swim, or enjoy a shared hobby.
• Spending time with others not only boosts your happiness, but it can also extend your lifespan. Scientists are currently comparing loneliness to smoking—both are harmful to your mental and physical health.

Play with Pets. When friends or family aren't around, a great distraction can be spending time with your furry companion. Specifically, dogs and cats help reduce depression and can even prolong life. Additionally, taking your dog to the park allows you to engage in physical activity by walking a few laps or playing frisbee together.

Volunteer. Visit a place in need of help and dedicate your skills and time to a worthwhile cause. Not only will this divert your attention, but it may also help you realize that others are facing even greater challenges, animals need your assistance, and there are environments you can help improve.

• Volunteering also provides numerous health benefits. It can alleviate loneliness and depression, and help you feel more connected to the community. Research has shown that people who genuinely want to contribute to the community (helping others instead of themselves) tend to live longer.

• Stay close to positive people and pursue hobbies to help you avoid getting caught up in unwanted thoughts.

• If avoiding certain thoughts leads to unhealthy behaviors like overeating, drinking alcohol, or using drugs, you should seek help from a mental health professional. They can assist you in developing healthier coping strategies to manage discouraging thoughts or stress triggers.
• Repeated intrusive thoughts may be a sign of obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). In addition to compulsive behaviors like checking or performing repetitive rituals, OCD is also associated with excessive worry, constant concerns, or fear. If you're experiencing these symptoms, it’s important to consult a mental health specialist.