How to Stop Feeling Discouraged

Failure is an inevitable part of life. However, sometimes these setbacks can leave you feeling down and troubled. By focusing on the positive and viewing failures as learning opportunities, you can prevent discouragement when unexpected challenges arise.

Visualize your success when you achieve your goals. Imagine the happiness you'll feel when you get promoted or reach your weight loss target. Focus on the positive outcomes that come with reaching your goal rather than feeling discouraged by the long journey ahead.

• For example, if you're saving for a vacation, determine how much money you need for the trip and think about how to reach this goal. Don't be overwhelmed if the number feels discouraging at first. You might stop buying a daily latte or cut cable for a year to save up. Picture the joy you'll feel as you gradually save enough for your dream vacation.

Focus on your successes. Avoid dwelling on past failures or challenges—they will only bring you down. Instead, concentrate on your accomplishments and the actions you’ve taken to get closer to your goals.

• If you’re trying to lose weight but overeat and skip exercise on the weekend, don’t be too hard on yourself. Instead, focus on the positive actions you’ve taken, like getting back to the gym or eating well on Monday morning, or just taking time to relax physically and mentally during the week. Focusing on what you’ve done right rather than your mistakes will boost your morale and brighten your mindset.

See failure as an opportunity to learn. Everyone faces failure at some point. Remember, failing doesn’t make you a failure. Failure is a chance to learn what works and what doesn’t for the future.

• If you’re experiencing failure, avoid overthinking the negatives. Focusing only on your failures will demotivate you and hinder productivity, so look for opportunities in those setbacks.
• For example, losing a job could be a chance to find a better position or go back to school. Ending a relationship might offer the opportunity to focus on self-love and nurture your friendships.

Set realistic goals. Unrealistic goals will only lead to discouragement, so make sure your goals are achievable within a reasonable time frame. Keep in mind that progress takes time—most personal goals won’t yield results overnight.

• Ensure you break larger goals into smaller, manageable steps to make them feel more attainable. For example, instead of aiming to run a marathon this year, start with a smaller goal like completing a 5-kilometer run.

Track your progress. It’s important to see tangible evidence of your achievements. Keeping track of visible progress will help you feel more positive and motivated toward your goals.

• For instance, you can chart your weight loss in a journal, note when you pay off a credit card, or monitor how your savings account grows. Every small victory counts, and recording your progress will remind you how far you’ve come.

Choose optimism. To overcome feelings of discouragement, you need to choose optimism and positivity. Although at first you may have to force yourself or 'pretend' to be positive, your efforts will eventually pay off. Instead of thinking you'll fail before you even start, if you believe that you can reach your goal by taking one step at a time and putting in your best effort, that belief will help you succeed.

• For example, a goal of losing 20 pounds might feel overwhelming. However, if you adjust your weight loss goal in a positive direction and imagine you only need to lose 2 pounds at a time, the goal suddenly feels more achievable. Optimism and a positive mindset are key to adjusting your goals and achieving them.

Let go of anger. Holding onto anger about past mistakes or injustices will only bring you down and make you feel unworthy. Recognize your anger and remember that, while it’s okay to feel it, it doesn’t benefit you. Move past the anger and focus on your goals.

• Anger often stems from other emotions like disappointment, insecurity, unfairness, or hurt. Redirect your anger constructively. Healthy ways to manage anger include deep breathing and taking a break to relax.
• Leisure activities like reading or journaling are also effective outlets to release frustration.

Overcome fear. Just like anger, fear can harm your motivation and happiness. If you’re constantly worried about failure or afraid you’ll never achieve your important goals, that fear can paralyze you. Using techniques to calm your anxiety is key to overcoming your fears and preventing discouragement. It’s important to face your fears head-on to manage your anxiety.

• For instance, if you’re traveling for work by plane and fear flying, that anxiety could ruin your chance to be recognized as an outstanding employee. By applying exposure therapy and cognitive-behavioral techniques, you’ll feel calmer and less sensitive to this frightening experience. Use cognitive-behavioral theory to tackle your fears and anxieties.

Avoid comparing yourself to others. Comparing yourself to friends, family, or colleagues will only lead to anxiety and discouragement. You don’t know what struggles or discouragement others may have faced to achieve what they have. You can only do your best, so focus on what you can do to reach your goals. Avoid comparing yourself to others in a one-dimensional way, as it will demotivate you and distract you from staying focused on your own journey toward success.

Incorporate exercise into your routine. Physical activity helps you combat frustration and boosts your mood. If you’re feeling down or discouraged, aim to dedicate at least 20 minutes a day to exercise. If possible, take a walk to breathe in fresh air and soak up some sunlight.

Find a mentor. If you’re feeling discouraged at work, seek guidance from a senior colleague. Your mentor should be positive and willing to work with you. Avoid pressuring someone to be your mentor. Make sure you find someone you can comfortably engage with.

• For instance, if you’re a new teacher, ask a friendly colleague how they cope with stress or discouragement during their early years. Their wisdom and experience will be invaluable, and you’ll know that you’re not alone in your feelings.

Keep a daily journal. Recording your goals, failures, and emotions will help you gain a clearer understanding of your progress. Being aware of your feelings and how certain situations affect you is crucial for maintaining balance and avoiding feelings of boredom.

• For example, did a work setback leave you feeling down this week? Did you ace a test you’d studied for intensely? Write down both the positive and negative emotions and experiences in your journal.
• A gratitude journal is an excellent way to fend off discouragement. Start writing a gratitude journal and note the things you're grateful for every day.
• You can download a journaling or gratitude app to your phone, tablet, or computer if you prefer. Otherwise, a traditional notebook will work just as well.

Reward yourself when you reach a milestone. Once you’ve given your all and completed a goal, celebrate it! Treat yourself to a nice meal out, go to a nail salon, or simply plan some relaxation time at home. No matter how small the goal, if you set it and achieve it, you deserve to reward yourself.

Spend time with like-minded friends. If you’re trying to shift a mindset full of frustration and discouragement, spend time with people who are positive and supportive. Surround yourself with friends who encourage you and understand when you’re trying to change your perspective or work toward a goal. Stay away from those who belittle your ambitions and drag you down.

Talk to a therapist. Despite your best efforts, sometimes you need the support of a mental health professional to help you overcome feelings of discouragement and sadness. Therapists are trained to assist in identifying stressors, and the insights they provide can be invaluable in helping you move past your feelings of boredom and sadness.

• If you’re feeling overwhelmed, down, and believe you’re not making progress, a licensed therapist can offer encouragement and help you gain a more positive outlook.