How to Stop Hesitating

If you feel stuck in life, you’ll realize that you need to let go of your indecision and take immediate action. You’ll also agree that moving forward and taking action is much easier than you think. However, you can begin transforming your life by letting go of perfectionism and setting actionable goals for yourself.

Start small. Commit to doing what you can right now. If you know you won’t be able to cover a longer distance than one mile, start with a shorter distance that suits you. Instead of saying "I’ll run 4 miles tomorrow," say "I’ll run 1 mile tomorrow. Each day, I’ll push myself to run a bit further than the day before."

Clarify your goals. If your goals are vague, you’ll struggle to achieve them. However, if you choose tasks that are measurable and achievable, you’ll find it easier to complete them. The SMART criteria are incredibly useful, standing for Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, and Time-bound. This step emphasizes the need for clarity.

• For example, if your goal is to "Start running for 20 minutes daily to improve health, and then aim to run 5,000 meters within a year."
• Always remember to break your goal down into smaller, actionable steps. If you commit to running half the marathon distance tomorrow, having never run a day in your life, you’ll fail immediately. You need to start small and manageable, such as running continuously for 5 minutes to begin with.

Ensure that your goal is measurable and achievable. The "M" and "A" in SMART stand for Measurable and Achievable. Measurable means selecting a goal you can track and observe your progress towards. In the example above, you’ve chosen a goal of running 5,000 meters within a specific time frame, making it measurable and observable. This goal is also within your capability; otherwise, you wouldn’t be able to pursue it. For instance, wanting to run a marathon next week would be an impossible task.

Make sure to stay focused on your goal. The key here is the result, not the process. In this case, your goal is to complete the 5,000-meter distance, not merely to practice running daily.

Set a time frame for achieving your goal, corresponding to the "T" in SMART. Without a time frame, your goal will remain unclear and you’ll have difficulty achieving it. Set a deadline to track your progress.

• For instance, you’ve set the goal of running 5,000 meters within a year.

Start working on your goal. Once you’ve set your goals, begin acting on them immediately. Start with the smaller steps you’ve defined, and try to make progress daily if possible.

Give yourself credit whenever you achieve a goal you’ve set. You’ve accomplished certain milestones, so take pride in them. Tell yourself that you’ve done a great job, even if you’ve only completed part of your goal.

Don’t be afraid to set higher goals for yourself. Gradually, you will conquer all your goals. As you achieve them, you can set higher targets or create new ones. For example, if you’ve committed to running for 20 minutes each day, after some time, you might be able to run for 25 minutes a day.

Reward yourself. It’s a good idea to reward yourself when you achieve your goals. You can treat yourself with anything you enjoy, like reading a book or having a cup of coffee. For instance, if your goal is to run for 20 minutes a day for a week, once you accomplish it, you can treat yourself as a reward.

Challenge yourself to overcome hesitation and take action. Taking action can trigger fear because it forces you out of your comfort zone. Therefore, you might feel that sticking to familiar, easy tasks is better. However, consider the consequences if you don't take action or if you continue only with what you’ve always done—what negative outcomes might arise? Perhaps you will remain stuck in your own limiting patterns.

• Write down the negative consequences of procrastination and inaction.

Focus on your long-term goals. Right now, you might be focused on immediate pleasures, and it’s uncomfortable to act if you don’t feel instant gratification. Instead of just thinking about the present, focus on the long-term benefits of your goals. What will happen if you take action?

• Create a "benefits" list and write down what you could gain by taking action. For example, you might write, "I could start a new job."

Explore yourself. If you’re struggling to make decisions about how to move forward, step outside and try something new. You could take a class, read a few books, or explore new hobbies. Stepping out of your comfort zone and experiencing new things can add excitement to life.

Learn to accept uncertainty. If you can’t embrace the uncertainty in life, you’ll waste a lot of time procrastinating, doubting, and trying to avoid the challenges you face. It’s better to learn to accept it and channel your energy toward moving forward with your goals.

• Start by noticing how you react to uncertain situations. For instance, you might double-check an email you send to a friend to make sure everything is perfect, or perhaps you always choose familiar restaurants because you’re uncomfortable with the possibility of something new, something you might not enjoy. Once you understand this behavior, create a list of things that cause you hesitation when you stop doing them.
• Begin with the things you hesitate about the least, gradually work on letting go of them or changing a few things in your list. You might try letting someone else plan your evening or texting a friend without double-checking your message for errors.
• Record those instances and notice how you feel. You might feel excited, or you might still feel nervous. But either way, things will be okay, even if everything doesn’t go as expected.
• Continue planning to take action, and make sure you’re learning to accept uncertainty in life.

Start with the easiest part. When you look at a task and don’t want to do it, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed and start procrastinating. However, try to pick the easiest or most enjoyable part to start with. Even though you’re just beginning, you’ve already made a significant step forward in your journey. You’ll soon start to see progress.

Don’t label yourself as a procrastinator. If you constantly tell yourself that you’re a procrastinator, sooner or later you’ll become one. In other words, if you believe you're always indecisive, you'll subconsciously act as someone who hesitates. Instead of thinking negatively, tell yourself, "I will complete this task on time, and I will not procrastinate or hesitate."

Accept the consequences. Procrastination provides immediate comfort, but it slowly robs you of the long-term satisfaction that comes with completing your goals. If you anticipate these consequences, you’ll gain the motivation to act. For example, you might remind yourself that if you don’t meet your daily goals, you won’t be able to watch your usual movie that night.

Focus on your core beliefs. Procrastination can take many forms, and you often tend to hide it as soon as it appears. It’s important to overcome this tendency when you notice yourself deliberately avoiding a task. For instance, you might reassure yourself, "I didn’t go for a run today, but at least I walked around the neighborhood. That’s still something." However, you must recognize that walking around the neighborhood doesn’t help you achieve your goal.

Look for alternative psychological strategies. Typically, when you procrastinate, you remind yourself of the consequences. But, if you flip the script and tell yourself the opposite, you might feel more motivated. For example, you could say, "It won’t be as bad as I think." or "I’ll eventually enjoy this task."

Reframe your thoughts. Perfectionists desire everything to be exactly as they envision it. The problem with this mindset is that it often stops you from taking action. The first step is to recognize when you're striving for perfection, as this thinking can negatively impact your decision-making. Try to change your approach to thinking.

• Start by listing all the ways perfectionism has helped you in the past. For example, it may have led to achieving high grades.
• Next, list the negative consequences of trying to follow perfectionism too strictly. Think about the worst possible outcome. For example, you might fear losing your job. For each fear, counter it with a reality check, such as "Losing my job over a minor mistake is highly unlikely."

Stop or don’t think at all. Perfectionism may make you feel like nothing you do can be perfect. You don’t have to do everything this way. When you realize you’re thinking in black and white—either perfect or nothing—ask yourself if this mindset is helping or hurting you.

• For instance, you’re making cookies for your child’s class. You try your hardest to make them perfect but fail. You want to throw everything away, but stop and think. Ask yourself: Do the kids care about perfect cookies, or would they rather have cookies that are a little imperfect than none at all?

Don’t put too much faith in achievements. When you rely heavily on accomplishments and rewards, disappointment can come easily. Instead, you should focus on the intrinsic value of what you do.

• Create another list. This time, write down things you truly appreciate about yourself. For example, "I treat animals kindly" or "I enjoy making others smile."
• Part of not overvaluing perfection is learning to love yourself. To do this, you must take care of yourself, treating yourself equally to others. This means speaking to yourself as you would a friend, without negative self-talk. For example, instead of saying "Oh, I look so bad today," you could say "Wow, my hair looks great today." You must learn to focus on your positive qualities.
• This also means accepting yourself as you are—not as anyone else. Everyone has both positive and negative sides, and you must learn to embrace both parts of yourself, even as you strive for self-improvement.