Buzz
We all know that feeling – developing feelings for someone we shouldn’t. Perhaps you’ve realized this person isn’t right for you, or they’re already in a committed relationship. Maybe you’re currently in a relationship yourself. Whatever the reason, you can stop liking someone by limiting the time you spend with them or thinking about them. Keep yourself occupied with friends and new activities. Additionally, set realistic expectations for the entire process. Before you know it, this person will just be a distant memory!
Steps
Reduce Your Feelings
Think about their flaws. A great way to stop liking someone is to shift your perspective about them. Everyone has imperfections. You might not notice their flaws because you’ve idealized them too much. Take time to reflect on their negative traits.
- For example, you might want to stop liking someone immediately because of something terrible they’ve done or because your friends or family don’t approve of them.
- You might also lose interest in them if you don’t share many common interests or if they have bad habits like smoking or lying.
Maintain distance from them. The saying "out of sight, out of mind" holds true. When you’re surrounded by different people or things, that person will no longer be the top priority in your thoughts.
- If you both belong to the same social group and can’t avoid seeing each other, try spending more time with larger groups for a while. Avoid one-on-one time with them.
- If you know of a specific place they frequently visit, steer clear of that area when you know they’re around.
Limit contact with them both offline and online. Reduce all forms of communication with that person. Constantly being reminded of them only makes it harder to move on. Delete their phone number, email address, and unfollow them on social media.
- If you’re on Facebook, you can unfollow them without unfriending them. This prevents their updates from appearing on your News Feed without them noticing. It also avoids awkward conversations like, "Hey, why did you unfriend me?"
- However, if you feel tempted to check their profile, it’s better to unfriend them entirely. You can always reconnect later.
Stop talking about them. To reduce your feelings for them, you need to stop talking about them as much as you used to. There’s no need to dwell on how amazing they are. Spend time with close friends who can help keep you accountable.
- For example, ask your friends to change the subject or give you a signal whenever you start talking about them.
Get rid of reminders. Forgetting someone becomes harder when you’re surrounded by items that remind you of them. Spend an afternoon sorting through your belongings and discard anything related to that person.
- Did you ever doodle their name in a notebook? Or keep an old letter from them? Maybe you shared a love for a particular song? Throw away anything they gave you and store away items that trigger memories of them.
- If you can’t bear to part with certain things (like furniture or textbooks), try to keep them out of sight as much as possible. Cover the book with a new jacket or replace the sofa cover you both used to sit on.
Avoid romantic movies or songs. Listening to a special song or watching a particular movie can make you miss them even more. Avoid songs or movies that you know will make you think of them. These could be romantic ballads or simply things you enjoyed together.
- Create a new playlist that has nothing to do with romance. Pick a new TV show or movie that doesn’t remind you of them at all.
Keep Yourself Busy
Make new friends or reconnect with old ones. When you’re infatuated with someone, you might neglect your own social circle. Start by reviving long-lost friendships or meeting new people. Spending time with good friends can uplift your spirits and help push thoughts of that person out of your mind.
- Call up your close buddies and plan a weekend hangout or a sleepover.
- Join a new club or a team sport.
- Volunteer at a local clinic, nursing home, or animal rescue center.
- Avoid spending too much time talking about that person when you’re with friends. Overdoing it might backfire and annoy your friends.
Find a new hobby. When you’re head over heels for someone, your passions often take a backseat. Rekindle your interests and do what you love. Filling your time with enjoyable activities can help you forget about them. Plus, you might meet new people through these efforts.
- Have you always wanted to learn the guitar? Don’t hesitate to approach the guitar prodigy at school. Explore DIY projects or crafts on Pinterest. Or, borrow a new book if you’ve neglected your love for reading.
Change your routine. Sticking to the same daily habits can get monotonous. If you keep visiting familiar places and doing the same things, it’ll be harder to move on. Gradually introduce small changes to refresh your life.
- Start a new exercise routine, like a beginner’s 5k running program. Try a new breakfast spot every day before school or work. Take a cooking class or learn a new language.
Try flirting again. Flirting or dating someone new might be the last thing on your mind, but diving back into these activities can help diminish your feelings for that person. You never know—the next person you meet might be even more captivating and interesting than the one you’re trying to forget.
- Keep things casual at first. Focus on meeting new people and lighthearted flirting. Spend time hanging out with them. Simply aim to fill your social calendar, enjoy good friendships, and create memorable experiences.
Set Realistic Expectations
Choose one action to take immediately. Think of a feasible goal you want to achieve related to your feelings for that person. Maybe you want to get rid of any mementos that remind you of your relationship or stop calling them. Focus on this goal to get started.
- Outline a plan to help you achieve your goal. For example, if you want to discard keepsakes, schedule a day to sort through them, a day to box them up, and a day to throw them away or donate them.
- Another goal could be spending an afternoon blocking them on all social media platforms.
Write down your feelings. Suppressing emotions might seem counterintuitive, but you’ll find that journaling your feelings helps you process them. Each day, take some time to write about your emotions toward that person. Tell yourself you’ll try not to think about them until your designated writing time.
- You might notice that in the beginning, you write a lot and still express deep feelings for them. Over time, however, you’ll find yourself mentioning them less or writing about entirely different things.
- Only use this writing time when necessary. If you haven’t thought about them at all that day, you don’t need to write.
Be patient. Give yourself time to move past the strong feelings you have for that person. Emotions don’t disappear overnight. Don’t be too hard on yourself if you start feeling overwhelmed or can’t get them out of your mind. Accept whatever thoughts come up. Remember, your feelings will fade with time.
