How to Stop Self-Harming

Self-harm is a form of self-inflicted injury, where someone deliberately hurts themselves as a way to cope with distressing emotions or challenging situations. While cutting the body might temporarily provide relief or a sense of control, over time it only leads to greater emotional pain. It can also put you in a dangerous situation. There's no magical solution to stop self-harming, but the key is to treat yourself with kindness and avoid self-inflicted punishment. If you're looking to recover, there are methods you can try to break free from self-harm. If you or someone you care about is considering self-harm, be sure to check out the Supplementary Resources at the end of this article to find people who can offer support.

Go to a place where you can't harm yourself. If you feel the urge to harm yourself, try going to a location where it would be difficult to act on that impulse. This could mean heading to a public space, like a coffee shop, or to a living room with the presence of family or roommates. Being around people who love and support you can help you resist these harmful urges and make you feel better in the moment.

Call someone. If you're home alone and feel like harming yourself, reach out to someone you trust. You can call a family member, a close friend, or even a helpline. It's helpful to have a list of people or support numbers saved in your contacts for such moments. You can also store these numbers on your phone for easy access.

• In Vietnam, there are several hotlines you can call for assistance. One is 112, which handles emergency requests. You can also call 115 for medical emergencies, or 1900599830 for psychological support.
• If you've injured yourself or need immediate medical attention, dial 115 for emergency health services to be transported to a hospital right away.
• If you're in Hanoi, remember that you can use 112 or 115 for urgent help, or call the dedicated hotline for children and adolescents at 18001567. These numbers are free when dialing from both mobile phones and landlines.

Distract yourself. A great way to avoid self-harm is by distracting yourself. Not all distraction techniques work for everyone, so you may need to experiment to find what helps you best. Sometimes, triggers or urges may vary depending on your emotions or situation, meaning your responses to stopping self-harm will also differ.

• Try drawing a butterfly. If you feel the urge to cut, draw a butterfly on the area where you would usually harm yourself and name it after someone you love or someone who wants to see you better. If you cut that spot, the butterfly will die. You must wash your hands immediately. If the drawing fades and you haven't harmed yourself, the butterfly is freed into nature.
• Another idea is using a pen. Take a red pen and draw some straight lines, wavy lines, a peace symbol, or any symbol on the area you wanted to cut. When finished, count the lines you've drawn. They represent scars you will not get.
• If these methods don’t work, try dyeing your hair, brewing a cup of tea, counting from 500 to 1000, solving a puzzle, people-watching, playing an instrument, watching TV or a movie, painting your nails, tidying up something like a bookshelf or wardrobe, folding paper (origami) to keep your hands busy, staying active, playing sports, going for a walk, planning a dance routine, or doing an art project or coloring. There are countless possibilities to keep you distracted; you just need to find one that works for you.

Delay the urge to self-harm. Whenever the urge arises, try to delay it. Start with a short amount of time, such as 10 minutes, and gradually increase the length of time.

• While waiting, think about the scars you don’t want and the reasons why you don't need to hurt yourself, whether you're thinking about it or truly feel the desire. Repeat a self-affirming phrase to yourself, like 'I do not deserve harm,' even if you don’t believe it at the moment.
• Remember, you always have the choice to not hurt yourself. The decision is entirely yours.

Use the five senses technique. Coping skills are essential for recovery. They help manage urges and promote the release of endorphins, chemicals in the brain that bring feelings of comfort, which are also released when engaging in self-harm. A widely used calming technique is the five senses technique, which guides you in calming your mind to deal with painful emotions or intense situations that lead to self-injury.

• Start in a comfortable position, either sitting cross-legged on the floor or sitting on a chair with your feet touching the ground. Then, focus on your breathing. Next, engage your senses one by one, dedicating a minute to each one.
• Hearing: Pay attention to external sounds. Can you hear traffic or people talking? Then, focus on internal sounds. Can you hear your breath or your stomach digesting food? As you listen, notice any sounds you might not have noticed before.
• Smell: What scents do you detect? Is there food nearby? Or the scent of flowers outside? You might discover smells you've never noticed before. Try closing your eyes to focus more on your other senses.
• Sight: What do you see? Can you see things outside through a window? Focus on the details such as color, patterns, shapes, and textures.
• Taste: What tastes do you notice? Pay attention to any flavors in your mouth, whether it's the lingering taste of morning coffee or the taste of lunch. Move your tongue around to feel it more and identify any unusual tastes.
• Touch: Feel the sensations of something touching your skin. It might be the carpet beneath you, the sensation of your clothes rubbing against your skin, or the breeze on your face. Feel the chair you're sitting on.

Meditate or pray. Meditation or prayer might seem odd, but studies show that meditation enhances positive emotions, well-being, health, and happiness. It also helps reduce anxiety, stress, and depression. There are various forms of meditation, but the common goal is to achieve peace of mind.

• Start by sitting in a comfortable position. Focus on a single point, whether it's a visual object, such as something fixed in the room, an auditory cue, such as a repeating word or prayer, or physical, like counting beads on a rosary. As you focus on this repetitive task or fixed object, clear your mind of all thoughts.
• It may seem easy, but focusing your mind can be quite challenging. Don’t be discouraged if you can only focus for a few minutes at first. Keep practicing until you can spend hours clearing your mind and eliminating thoughts.

Practice breathing exercises. Breathing is a natural response that we can control. Research shows that practicing controlled breathing positively impacts your stress levels. Stress can be triggered when the urge to self-harm arises. Learning new skills can help you manage your triggers.

• Try deep breathing. This simple technique involves inhaling for a count of five, then exhaling for the same duration. Focus on each breath.

Use relaxation techniques. There are several relaxation techniques you can try. One is an imaginative relaxation exercise where you use your imagination to create a safe space—a place where you wouldn't want to harm yourself. You need to form a detailed mental image. The image should be peaceful and could remind you of happy memories. It's easier to focus on an image if you draw it out on paper rather than just imagining it.

Practice Progressive Muscle Relaxation (PMR). PMR is a coping skill technique that focuses on tensing and relaxing various muscle groups. One of its benefits is that it increases awareness of the physical sensations in your body.

• Begin in a comfortable position that allows you to focus on different muscle groups. Most people find sitting or lying down to be the easiest starting positions. Focus on one muscle group at a time, tensing it, and then relaxing it.
• Tense the muscle for about 5 seconds by tightening the group of muscles you're working on. After 5 seconds, relax the muscle and stay in a relaxed state for 15 seconds. Then move on to the next muscle group.
• Repeat this process several times each day if needed.
• It might be challenging to isolate specific muscle groups at first, but with practice, it will become easier.
• Common muscle areas include your face, hands and arms, abdomen and torso, calves, and feet. Wear loose-fitting clothes to make the practice more comfortable.

Go for a mindful walk. Walking is a relaxing and enjoyable activity, but a mindful walk takes it a step further by incorporating mindfulness into movement. To walk mindfully, focus on each step you take. How do your feet feel against the ground? How do they feel inside your shoes? Pay attention to your breath. Take in your surroundings and allow yourself time to enjoy the environment around you.

• The benefits of walking mindfully include greater awareness of daily life and focusing your consciousness. Often, many people find it hard to sit still to meditate, so walking offers a more dynamic way to practice meditation. Walking will also bring other benefits as well.

Write about the moments when you feel the urge to harm yourself. Keep a journal where you record the times when you feel the urge to harm yourself. When you sense this unhealthy urge, write it down in your journal. Record the moments when this urge arises and what events preceded it. Writing down these moments helps you identify patterns or emotions that lead to self-injury. Additionally, journaling allows you to express your feelings and process your thoughts more effectively.

Create a coping skills box. A coping skills box is a container where you store items that help you resist the urge to self-harm. You can use a shoebox or cardboard box and fill it with any items that you think will help distract you from harming yourself. These items might include photos of friends, family, or pets, a journal for writing, art supplies for creating artwork, inspirational quotes or song lyrics that lift your spirits, a favorite music CD, or anything else that can boost your mood and help take your mind off harming yourself.

Explore alternative methods. Some people resort to self-harm because they are overwhelmed with feelings of anger, hatred, frustration, or pain. If this is why you engage in these actions, it's important to seek other methods to release your emotions.

• If you're angry or frustrated, try punching a pillow, going somewhere to shout, tearing up paper, or squeezing a stress ball to relieve tension. You could also take a kickboxing or self-defense class. Any activity that allows you to express the emotions you typically channel through self-injury can help prevent future instances of harm.
• Finding a suitable method may take time. Try several approaches until you discover what works best for you. Keep in mind that your coping strategies may change depending on the situation.

Listen to the positive things you say to yourself. Self-talk refers to the inner voice that constantly communicates with you, offering positive feedback and reinforcing your self-worth. This voice influences your motivation, outlook, self-esteem, and overall well-being. Engaging in positive self-talk is a method for boosting your confidence, promoting healthy living, and reducing negative thought patterns.

• Self-talk also helps you maintain a healthy perspective on your emotions. Remind yourself that feelings and urges to self-harm are just temporary emotions, not truths. They will pass or improve. The desire to harm yourself will not last forever.

Set up reminders. One way to integrate positive self-talk into your daily life is by placing visual reminders around you. Use sticky notes or place small notes with positive affirmations in areas you frequent. You could write them on mirrors, windows, or whiteboards. This way, you'll easily spot the reminders throughout the day, and they’ll help improve your mood. You can also read these positive messages when you're feeling tempted to self-harm. Some helpful phrases include:

• I am lovable.
• I am unique.
• I am confident.
• I can achieve my goals.
• I am beautiful/handsome.
• My feelings are simply temporary.
• My emotions will not last forever.
• Feelings are not facts.
• Self-harm won’t solve the problem.
• Self-harm may offer temporary relief but not long-term comfort.
• I can overcome anger/sadness/anxiety without harming myself.
• I can trust sharing my feelings with others right now.
• I can seek help.
• I will get through this.

Journal about your thoughts. Self-talk helps you recognize and understand thought patterns that might contribute to the urge to harm yourself. The first step is to learn how to observe your thoughts, as they can often become habitual. Many people find journaling their thoughts helpful throughout the day. Writing them down allows you to reflect more deeply on your emotions and thoughts and discover methods for handling situations differently.

• The goal is not to change your thoughts but to become aware of them. By doing this, you can examine them more closely and prevent passively acting on negative thoughts that could lead to self-harm.
• Write about the situation, thoughts, feelings, or emotions you are experiencing, as well as any physical sensations such as energy levels, stomach tightness, and the actions you take.

Evaluate your thoughts. Evaluating your thoughts and the process behind them can help you cultivate a more positive self-talk and limit negative thinking that might lead to self-harm. Are your thoughts accurate? Look back at your journal and assess similar situations you've encountered. What did you learn from these situations and their long-term consequences? Have you ever dealt with a situation differently than before? Did you act based on negative thoughts?

• One way to evaluate negative thoughts is to look for statements containing words like “must,” “should,” or “need to.” These “all-or-nothing” thoughts can often trigger a desire to harm yourself.
• Revisit your journal. What alternative thoughts have you been able to adopt? Write down positive replacements that could help you combat negative thinking.
• Consider asking friends or trusted family members for feedback if you're unsure whether your thoughts are accurate.

Remove the triggers. To prevent self-harming from recurring, it’s important to eliminate the tools you use to carry out this action. Get rid of any objects that you’ve previously used to hurt yourself. If you need to spend time looking for tools to harm yourself, you will feel discouraged. The time spent thinking about your actions or searching for implements could act as a barrier to stop you.

• Avoid placing sharp objects on your desk or storing razors in drawers or cabinets where you can easily access them.
• If you’re not ready to throw them away, consider delaying access by wrapping them up and putting them on a high shelf out of your reach.
• If possible, hand them over to someone else. This ensures you cannot easily find them. While it might anger you initially, you’ll feel grateful when the urge passes because this act prevents self-harm.

Identify and avoid triggers. When the urge to harm yourself strikes, stop and reflect on what just happened. These are your triggers. Take note of them and stay away from situations that may bring them about. Sometimes, you can predict these triggers, and when you can foresee them, it becomes easier to avoid them.

• Common triggers include interpersonal conflicts, such as bullying or online harassment, academic stress, feelings of social isolation, abuse, gender dysphoria, and family problems.
• Many people tend to self-harm at certain times of the day. If you know you’re prone to this urge in the morning, be extra cautious after waking up. It’s essential to understand yourself and know what actions you need to take to handle future urges.
• For instance, if you’ve just argued with a loved one and feel the urge to harm yourself, pause and ask yourself, “Do I want to hurt myself because I just argued with someone I care about, and that makes me feel terrible?” Identify the factors that turn the situation into a trigger, such as a specific emotion or action. Practice techniques to manage this response until you can either control it or eliminate it altogether.

Acknowledge your success. Celebrating the progress you’ve made is essential. Use your favorite colors to mark the days you didn’t harm yourself on a calendar. At the end of the month, count how many days you successfully avoided self-harm and write it down on the calendar. Strive to increase that number the following month.

Identifying Underlying Causes. In some cases, self-harm may be a symptom of an underlying condition, such as depression, anxiety, or another mental health disorder. Inflicting harm on oneself may serve to alleviate feelings of anger, guilt, anxiety, isolation, sadness, or despair. This action can also act as an expression of the emotions and pain one is enduring.

• Other reasons someone might engage in self-injury include a desire to regain control over their body, especially during times when they feel out of control. Some individuals may harm themselves to feel something when their body feels numb. Others may do so as a way to cope with trauma or other issues like anxiety and depression.

Consulting a Professional. If you're struggling to manage self-harm and coping techniques aren't effective, it may be necessary to seek help from a professional who can support you in improving your situation. A counselor, psychologist, or therapist will discuss with you why you engage in self-harm, explore your emotions, and help you change behaviors associated with this act.

• Consider joining a therapy group; you'll likely find that many others are facing similar struggles.
• If you're a teenager, inform your parents or guardian that you need to see a mental health professional immediately. Stress that it’s an emergency.
• If you're an adult with health insurance, contact your doctor as soon as possible for a referral to a therapist or psychologist specializing in self-injury. If you don’t have insurance, look for free or low-cost healthcare facilities in your area, or seek assistance from a religious leader if you're a person of faith.

Seek Immediate Assistance. If you've inflicted serious injuries on yourself, immediate help is crucial. A serious injury involves any cut that bleeds for more than 10 minutes, uncontrollable bleeding, or accidentally severing a vein or artery.

• It’s equally important to seek help right away if you're having thoughts of suicide.

Recognizing the Difference. Self-harm is not the same as suicide, although many confuse the two. The key difference lies in the intent to end one's life. Someone with suicidal intent believes there is no way out and wishes to end their life. In contrast, someone engaging in self-injury doesn't intend to end their life, but instead harms themselves to feel alive or to cope with life.

• Research has shown that individuals who harm themselves may be at a higher risk of suicide in the future, often linked to factors such as depression, a lack of purpose, or feelings of hopelessness. Be sure to recognize signs of suicidal thoughts and seek help when needed.
• Look for signs of suicidal thoughts, such as frequent references to ending or wanting to end their life, expressions like having no hope left, or saying they have nothing to live for.
• If you or someone you love is having suicidal thoughts, seek help immediately. You can call 1900599830 to talk to someone about helping those at risk of suicide or dial 112 if someone has already taken action.

Tố chức	Số điện thoại
Trợ giúp Khẩn cấp	112
Trung Tâm Cấp cứu	115
Tâm sự Bạn trẻ	1900599830
Hotline giúp đỡ trẻ em và trẻ vị thành niên	18001567

• If possible, it is better to stay away from factors, people, or situations that trigger a desire to harm yourself. While this might be challenging, even small changes can help you cope until you can recover, or until these adjustments become part of the healing process.
• Dispose of your razor blades.
• Allow a trusted person—such as a grandparent, aunt, mother, or friend—to guide you in avoiding self-harm. They can also keep an eye on you to ensure you remain safe from harm.