How to Stop Talking to Yourself

Determine whether you talk to yourself in your own voice or another voice. If you clearly hear a voice that is not your own, consult a mental health professional, as this could be a sign of a serious psychological disorder.

• One way to identify if it's your voice is to determine if you are aware of it. If you know nothing about the voice (e.g., are you consciously thinking, doing, and saying those words?) and if you have no clue what the voice will say next, this could be a sign of a mental disorder, such as schizophrenia, depression, or psychosis.
• Other symptoms of mental disorders include hearing more than one voice; experiencing non-verbal thoughts, delusions, tastes, smells, and physical contact that do not exist; hearing voices as if sleepwalking but feeling real; hearing voices throughout the day that negatively affect your daily activities (e.g., becoming isolated, indifferent, unable to socialize, or being threatened by the voice if you don't obey).
• If you experience any of these symptoms during self-talk, consult a mental health professional to manage the disorder and prevent it from negatively impacting your life and well-being.

Examine what you say to yourself during self-talk. What are you talking to yourself about? Are you recounting the events of your day? Are you planning what to do next? Are you discussing something that recently happened? Or are you replaying dialogue from a movie?

• Self-talk isn't necessarily a bad thing. Expressing your thoughts can help you organize them. It can also assist you in thinking things through, especially when making difficult decisions, such as choosing a university or deciding between gifts for someone.

Assess whether your self-talk is positive or negative. Positive self-talk can be beneficial in certain situations, such as preparing for an interview or a high-pressure task. Telling yourself, 'I've got this, I can do it!' can boost your confidence and make you feel better before tackling something important. You can be your own cheerleader! In this way, occasional self-talk can be healthy.

• However, if your self-talk is mostly negative, self-critical, or self-blaming (e.g., 'Why am I so stupid?', 'I'll never get anything right'), it could indicate an underlying psychological or emotional issue. Additionally, if you repeatedly talk to yourself about negative events, it might signal a tendency to ruminate. For example, if you had a minor disagreement with a colleague and spent two hours replaying and talking to yourself about what you should have said, this isn't healthy. It means you're overthinking and dwelling on the issue excessively.

Evaluate how self-talk makes you feel. We're all a little different, and that's okay! But to maintain your mental well-being, ensure that this habit doesn't negatively impact your self-esteem or daily life. Ask yourself the following questions:

• Do I often feel anxious or guilty about talking to myself frequently?
• Does self-talk make me feel sad, frustrated, or anxious?
• Am I talking to myself about a serious issue I avoid discussing publicly to prevent embarrassment?
• If the answer to these questions is 'yes,' consider consulting a mental health professional. A licensed therapist can help you understand why you engage in self-talk and work with you to develop strategies to manage this habit.

Assess how others react when you talk to yourself. Pay attention to how people respond when they notice you talking to yourself. Most people likely won't care. However, if you notice consistent reactions, it might indicate discomfort or concern for your social and mental well-being. Ask yourself:

• Do people give me strange looks when I'm walking around?
• Do others often ask me to be quiet?
• Is the first thing someone hears from me my self-talk?
• Has a teacher ever suggested I see a school counselor?
• If the answer to these questions is 'yes,' consider seeking help from a mental health professional. Their reactions may reflect genuine concern for your well-being. Additionally, you might be disturbing others, and managing this habit could improve your social relationships.

Acknowledge the behavior. When you catch yourself speaking out loud, be aware and admit what you're doing. You can track this by counting how many times you notice yourself talking aloud during the day. Being conscious of the behavior is the first step toward reducing it.

Think more, speak less. Try to keep conversations in your mind. As soon as you realize you're talking out loud, shift the dialogue to your inner thoughts.

• You can even press your lips together to prevent yourself from speaking. This might help, but be aware that people around you might give you strange looks!
• Try chewing gum to keep your mouth busy and unable to talk.
• If thinking instead of speaking is too challenging, try mouthing the words without making sound. This way, the conversation can continue without others hearing.

Limit self-talk to specific situations. Only allow yourself to talk out loud when you're alone at home or in your car. Be cautious, as permitting yourself to speak aloud might lead to doing it at other times. Set rules to restrict self-talk, and if you follow them for about a week, reward yourself with a movie or some sweets. Over time, reduce the situations where you allow yourself to talk aloud until you completely break the habit.

Write down what you say to yourself. Buy a journal to record moments when you start talking to yourself. This way, you can preserve your self-dialogue in writing instead of speech. You can do this by jotting down your thoughts and then responding to them.

• For example, suppose you had a date with someone but haven't heard from them. Instead of talking aloud, you could write: 'Why hasn't he called me? Maybe he's busy, or maybe he doesn't like me. Why do I think he doesn't like me? He's probably just busy with school, or maybe we're not a good match because we don't share the same interests. Still, I feel lost. That's understandable, but he's not the only guy in the world, and more importantly, I have many good qualities. What are they?...'
• This form of dialogue and journaling can help you organize and understand your thoughts. It's also a great way to reflect and reinforce positive self-talk while addressing negative thoughts.
• Get into the habit of carrying your journal everywhere—in your bag, car, or pocket. You can also use a journaling app on your phone! Another benefit of writing is that you'll have a record of your thoughts and concerns. Patterns will emerge, creative ideas will flow, and you'll have an outlet for expression.

Engage with others. One of the most common reasons people talk to themselves is because they feel they have no one else to talk to. Becoming more involved in your community can provide more opportunities for conversation, reducing the need for self-talk. Remember, humans thrive on social interaction.

• If you feel anxious about socializing, take small steps to start conversations. For example, if you encounter someone who seems friendly and approachable (they smile, say hello, or make eye contact), try smiling back or saying hello. After a few positive experiences, you'll feel more comfortable engaging in small talk and beyond.
• Sometimes, it's hard to interpret social cues and know how much to talk. Building trust with others takes time, and it's normal to feel nervous about talking to strangers. Consider joining support groups or seeking therapy to overcome this discomfort.
• To meet new people, try joining a new activity, such as a yoga class, pottery workshop, or dance lesson. Participating in group activities (e.g., attending a yoga studio instead of running on a treadmill at home) creates more opportunities to connect with like-minded individuals.
• If you live in a geographically isolated area, use the internet to stay connected. Join chat rooms or forums to discuss topics you enjoy. If you don't have internet access, try traditional methods—send letters! Staying connected is a vital part of human life.

Keep yourself busy. Often, self-talk stems from daydreaming or boredom, so staying occupied can help. Immerse yourself in an activity that keeps your mind engaged.

• Listen to music. When alone or on the go, focus on something to avoid self-talk. Music is a pleasant distraction that can inspire new thoughts and creativity. Melodic tunes have been shown to trigger dopamine release in the brain's reward center, making you feel good. Plus, wearing headphones can make others think you're on a call if they see you talking to yourself.
• Read books. Reading transports you to another world and requires focus, reducing opportunities for self-talk.
• Watch TV. Tune into your favorite show or leave the TV on for background noise. This creates a sense of liveliness in the room, which is why some people who struggle with sleeping alone leave the TV on—it makes them feel like someone else is there, even if just on screen! TV also helps you focus on something else.