Buzz
Crying when stressed or feeling sad is a completely natural reaction, but if you don't want to cry or don't want others to see you crying, there are several techniques you can use to stop the tears. To achieve this, you need to make some physical or mental adjustments to distract yourself from what's making you upset and focus on more positive things. However, if these techniques don't work, you can also hide your tears temporarily to give yourself time to calm down and collect yourself before turning your attention to something else. Regardless of the situation, remember that what you're experiencing is completely normal, and you'll feel better in time.
Steps
Stopping Tears with Physical Activity
Focus on your breath. Crying is a response triggered by overwhelming emotions, and the sense of relaxation you get from deep breathing can help stop the tears. Perhaps you're remembering a sad event, just ending a relationship, or dealing with a recent loss. Staying calm is key to stopping the tears. Focusing on your breath, as in meditation, is an effective way to regain emotional control and find peace of mind.
- When you feel like you're about to cry, take a slow, deep breath through your nose, then exhale slowly through your mouth. This action helps relieve the tightness in your throat and contributes to stabilizing your thoughts and emotions.
- Try counting to 10. Inhale through your nose as you count one beat. Exhale through your mouth before counting the next beat. Counting helps you focus entirely on your breath, rather than the situation causing your tears.
- Just one deep breath can help you regain calm when facing something that makes you want to cry. Take a deep breath, hold it for a moment, and then exhale. At this point, focus solely on the air moving in and out of your lungs. Deep breathing also gives you a brief pause before confronting the cause of your sadness.
Move your eyes to stop tears. If you feel like crying but want to hide your emotions, moving your eyes can help stop the tears. Some studies suggest that blinking can also prevent tears from falling. Try blinking a few times to stop your eyes from becoming blurred by tears.
- Move your eyes from side to side or roll them a few times. Only do this when you are sure no one is watching. Besides distracting you (as you need to focus on moving your eyes), this helps prevent tears from rolling down your face.
- Close your eyes. This action gives you a little more time to process what's going on. Closing your eyes and taking deep breaths will help you calm down and focus on holding back your tears.
Move your body to distract from the sadness. When you're about to cry, shift your focus to something else. Engaging your body in movement is a good way to help stop the tears.
- Clench your thighs or squeeze your hands. Squeeze just hard enough to prevent yourself from thinking about what makes you want to cry.
- You can also grip something like a stress ball, pillow, a piece of your clothing, or a loved one’s hand.
- Press your tongue against the roof of your mouth or your teeth.
Relax your facial muscles. Frowning or scowling can make you appear like you're about to cry because facial expressions can influence emotions. To stop tears, try to maintain a neutral facial expression in situations that trigger crying. Relax your eyebrows and the muscles around your mouth to avoid looking worried or sad.
- If possible, leave the situation for a few minutes and try to smile. Some studies suggest that smiling can improve your mood, even if you don't feel like smiling.
Ease the tightness in your throat. One of the hardest parts of holding back tears is overcoming the sensation of tightness in your throat when you feel like crying. When the body is tense, the autonomic nervous system reacts by opening the glottis—the muscle that controls the opening from the back of the throat to the larynx. This opening causes the feeling of tightness in the throat when trying to swallow.
- Drink a sip of water to release the tension caused when the glottis opens. Drinking water helps relax the muscles in your throat (and soothes your nervous system).
- If you don’t have water, try breathing slowly and swallowing gently a few times. Breathing helps you relax, and swallowing signals your body that there's no need to open the glottis.
- Yawning is another way to relax the throat muscles and ease the tightness when the glottis opens.
Stop crying by distracting your mind
Shift your focus to something else. Sometimes, you can control your tears by diverting your attention to something different. For example, you might distract yourself by doing simple math calculations in your head. Adding small numbers or mentally reciting the multiplication table will take your mind off the sorrow and help you regain composure.
- Alternatively, you could think of the lyrics to your favorite song. Recalling the lyrics and humming them in your mind is a great way to stop thinking about the sadness. Try focusing on cheerful songs to uplift your mood.
Think of something happy. Although this may seem difficult when you're facing something that makes you want to cry, thinking about something funny can actually help stop the tears. Recall a past memory that made you laugh, a funny video, or a humorous story you've heard.
- Try smiling when thinking about something happy.
Tell yourself that you are strong. Encouraging yourself when you feel like crying can help you push through the moment. Remind yourself that it’s okay to be sad, but not right now. Reiterate why you can’t cry at this moment – maybe you don't want to cry in front of strangers, or you want to be a source of strength for someone else. Allow yourself to feel the sadness, but focus on staying strong in the present.
- Remember, you are a wonderful person loved by your friends and family. Think about all you've achieved in life and what you still hope to accomplish in the future. However, this might make you cry even more!
- Studies show that positive self-talk can have many health benefits beyond alleviating sadness. It can boost your immune system, reduce your risk of depression, help you cope better with challenges, and lower the risk of death from heart disease.
Do something that distracts you. When you're trying to hold back tears, don’t keep thinking about the sad situation. Distracting yourself is a great way to temporarily forget the sorrow, though you will need to confront it at another time.
- Watch the movie you've been wanting to see (or a classic favorite). If you're not in the mood for a movie, you could read your favorite book or watch an episode of a show you enjoy.
- Take a walk to clear your mind. Often, stepping outside for some fresh air is a wonderful way to shift your focus – pay attention to the beauty of your surroundings and try not to think about what's making you sad.
- Exercise. The endorphins released during physical activity can help you feel better when you're feeling down. Exercise also helps you focus on what you’re doing rather than your emotions.
Cry without anyone knowing
Make up a reason for your tears. Although those around you may spot your harmless little lie, it can help you regain composure.
- Say you’re experiencing severe allergies. This is a common excuse for crying, as allergies often cause red eyes and tearfulness.
- Yawn and say, "Every time I yawn, tears just start flowing."
- Claim that you might be feeling sick. Typically, when someone is unwell, their eyes tend to look blurry. Using illness as an excuse can also help you exit the current situation.
Secretly wipe your tears. If you can’t hold back the tears, secretly wiping them away is a way to stop yourself from crying.
- Act as though you’re trying to get dust out of your eye, then wipe the tears at the corner of your lower eyelid. Gently pressing your index finger into your eye socket is another way to discreetly wipe away the tears.
- Feign a sneeze and raise your elbow to cover your face (this allows you to use your arm to wipe your tears). If you can’t fake a sneeze, just say, "I want to sneeze but can’t."
Leave the situation. If you find yourself in a negative environment that’s making you want to cry, it’s best to find a way to remove yourself. This doesn’t mean you have to rush out immediately. When something upsets you, it’s okay to ask for a moment away from the room. Temporarily stepping away from what’s making you emotional will help you regain composure. By physically and mentally distancing yourself, you create space from the issue.
- Once you’re outside, take deep breaths. This will help you stop feeling like crying.
Crying and overcoming the reasons behind your tears
Cry. Sometimes, all you need to do is cry without feeling guilty. Crying is a completely natural human response. Even if you try to hold back your tears in the moment, it’s okay to allow yourself to be sad later on. Find a quiet space where you can be alone and let yourself cry freely.
- Crying can actually benefit your mental and physical health. It provides your body with a chance to release toxins. After crying, you’ll often feel lighter and less stressed.
- Remember, crying is a sign of emotional strength, not weakness.
Explore the reasons behind your tears or the urge to cry. Taking the time to reflect on what makes you cry or feel like crying is an important step. Once you identify the cause, you can analyze it further and come up with solutions or ways to improve your mood. Think about what is making you want to cry. Is there a person or situation causing this? Has anything happened recently that made you feel sad, like a breakup or the loss of a loved one? Or is there another reason why you might find yourself struggling to hold back tears?
- If you cannot pinpoint the cause of your tears, consider speaking to a psychological therapist for help. Frequent crying or a constant desire to cry may indicate depression, which requires treatment.
Write in a journal. Writing down your thoughts on paper can help you organize them and feel better. Additionally, it aids in dealing with stress, anxiety, and depression. For the best results, try to spend a few minutes each day writing your thoughts and emotions. You can structure your journal however you like and write whatever you feel.
- If someone has made you want to cry, try writing a letter to them. Pouring your feelings onto paper can often be easier than speaking them out loud. Even if you don't send the letter, you'll likely feel relief after expressing your thoughts and emotions.
Talk to someone. After crying, it's helpful to talk to someone about what happened. Share your feelings with a friend, family member, or a psychological therapist. As the old saying goes, 'one tree alone doesn't make a forest, but three trees together form a mountain,' someone who listens can offer advice to help you face the immediate challenges.
- Talking to others can also help you realize you're not alone in your situation. If you feel like you're carrying the weight of the world, confide in someone and let them help you sort through your thoughts and emotions.
- Speaking to a psychological therapist is especially beneficial for those experiencing depression, anxiety, loss, health issues, or emotional struggles. Consider meeting with a therapist if you continue to cry or wish to speak in a safe and private setting.
Distract your thoughts with activities you enjoy. Spending time on hobbies is a great way to gain a new perspective during tough times. Dedicate a little time each week to your interests. Even when it feels impossible to fully engage with life because of sadness, you'll soon find yourself laughing and feeling better.
- Be around people who make you happy. Do things you love, like going on trips or painting. Attend a party and meet new people, or host a party with friends and dress up. Immersing yourself in activities that keep you busy is an excellent way to temporarily forget about your sorrow.
Advice
- A hug from friends or family can provide comfort and help soothe your emotions.
- If you are in a public space, clenching your teeth may help you hold back tears. Once you regain composure, reflect on the cause and the person who triggered your emotions.
- Calmly express the reason behind your sorrow to the person who caused it.
- Take deep breaths, close your eyes, lie down, and relax.
- Think about a soothing and joyful memory from your childhood.
- Read or talk to someone about ways to manage your emotions, and try applying those techniques.
- Find a quiet place that you enjoy to be alone and gather your thoughts. You might invite a friend who can offer emotional support.
- Sitting or standing up straight can boost your confidence and strength, helping you resist crying.
- Pray, if you follow a religious belief.
- Remind yourself that everything happens for a reason, and that these experiences will benefit your future.
- Have some chocolate or a snack that improves your mood.
- Confide in a close friend or a parent; share your feelings with them. They might help you feel better.
Warning
- If you're considering harming yourself or others, seek immediate help.
- If you're experiencing symptoms of underlying depression and/or have thoughts of suicide, share your true feelings with a trusted adult for support and treatment. In the US, you can call 1-800-273-TALK (8255) immediately for help if you're having suicidal thoughts; do anything you can to protect yourself!
- If you don't want to talk to anyone, seek professional support. Consider seeing a school counselor or a therapist. There will always be someone willing to listen to you. Even talking to a trustworthy adult (even if they're not a family member) can be helpful.
- Suppressing tears is harmful to your health and may cause digestive issues and high blood pressure. This action can also lead to more emotional problems, and if you don’t cry to release your feelings over time, you may experience severe mental breakdowns.
