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We all worry from time to time. Concerns about finances, health, and relationships are common. We also worry about the people we love. However, there comes a point when worrying becomes not only ineffective but also harmful to our well-being. Uncontrolled worry can lead to stress, anxiety, sleep deprivation, and other health issues. If you find yourself constantly worrying about yourself or your loved ones, you can try various methods to address this. By changing your habit of fearing the worst, you can lead a happier and more fulfilling life.
Steps
Confront Your Worries in the Present
Create a worry list. Whenever an anxious thought arises, jot it down on paper. Tell yourself, "I don’t have time to think about this right now. I’ll write it down and address it later." This way, you’ll have dedicated time and space to process your concerns about yourself and your loved ones. You won’t need to fear forgetting anything because every thought is recorded in your list.
Set a specific time to worry. Choose a designated time and place each day to focus on your concerns about potential negative outcomes. Allow yourself to freely worry during this period. This is your dedicated time to express and process your anxieties. Your thoughts are entirely your own, and you don’t need to restrict or judge them. Whether your worries are productive or not doesn’t matter during this time.
- If a worry about yourself or your family arises during the day, try to set it aside. Remind yourself that you’ll address it thoroughly during your scheduled worry time. This becomes easier with practice.
- Choose a consistent daily time frame (e.g., 4:30 to 5:00 PM).
- Ensure it’s early enough so you’re not worrying right before bed.
- Once the worry period ends, make a conscious effort to stop worrying. Get up and engage in an activity to distract your mind from the fears you’ve just processed.
Stay busy. When you notice yourself starting to worry about potential misfortunes, turn to your to-do list. If you don’t have one, create it. List your goals and the steps needed to achieve them.
- Start with simple tasks, like cooking dinner or doing laundry.
- Focus on one task at a time to maintain clarity and productivity.
Addressing Your Worries
Improve your stress tolerance. Stress tolerance is your ability to handle uncomfortable, negative, and stressful emotions. Reflect on how you react when imagining something bad happening to your family—do you panic and frantically try to stop the fearful thoughts? Do you avoid or suppress the emotion? Do you engage in negative behaviors? Strengthening your ability to endure these emotions can help you face them in a healthier way.
- Worrying can sometimes be a way to avoid confronting stressful emotions. If you overthink and worry about potential family tragedies, you may be distancing yourself from your feelings. Worry can act as a distraction from the stress of uncontrollable events.
- Learn to soothe yourself during stressful moments. When you start worrying about your family, identify actions that can ease your discomfort. This doesn’t mean avoiding emotions but making them more manageable.
- Try activities like exercising, dancing, cleaning, listening to calming music, appreciating art, playing with pets, solving puzzles, watching a favorite show, volunteering, taking a bath or shower, praying, reading, smiling, singing, or visiting a peaceful and inspiring location.
- Pay attention to what makes you feel better and what worsens your mood (e.g., overeating, isolating yourself, etc.).
Embrace uncertainty. Sometimes we believe worrying is helpful—thinking that if we’re extremely cautious about every possible misfortune that could happen to our family, we can protect them from harm. However, this only wastes time and energy, as you can never be 100% certain about what will happen in life.
- Recognize that worrying about worst-case scenarios (e.g., "What if my dad gets cancer and dies?" "What if my plane crashes?") doesn’t prevent these events from occurring.
- Ask yourself: Is it possible to be certain about everything in life? Does constantly worrying about potential disasters bring any benefit? Does it help you enjoy the present moment? Can you accept that while there’s a small chance of something bad happening, the actual likelihood is very low?
Developing adaptability. This means becoming more adaptable or gradually getting used to the anxiety within you. Spend about 30 minutes visualizing the event you fear—for example, your family dying in a car accident—and accept the emotions that arise instead of trying to avoid or escape them.
Consulting a specialist. Speaking with a healthcare professional doesn’t always have to be a last resort. Sometimes, simply expressing your concerns about yourself and your family to someone unrelated to the issue can be very helpful. Look for providers in your area who offer services at flexible rates based on your financial situation and schedule an appointment.
Crying. Nothing compares to a good cry to clear out negative emotions. Research shows that after crying, your heart rate slows, your breathing becomes more relaxed, and you enter a state of calm. This relaxed state often lasts longer than the duration of your crying. So, if you feel too anxious about your family and just need to cry, go ahead.
Calling a friend. Friends can be a great source of support. They can offer their perspectives and help you refine your own. They assist you in determining whether your anxiety about yourself or your family is reasonable. Simply expressing your fears to someone in real life can make you feel the anxiety start to dissipate.
Lifestyle changes
Giảm căng thẳng. While stress is an inevitable part of life, there are practical steps you can take to minimize its impact.
- Master the art of saying 'no.' Avoid committing to social engagements like dinner with friends when you know you’ll be working late to meet deadlines or juggling multiple projects. Learn to differentiate between tasks you 'must' do and those you feel you 'should' do.
- Alter your circumstances. Does the daily traffic jam leave you seething with frustration by the time you get home? Consider alternatives like taking the train or adjusting your work hours to avoid peak traffic. Identify small changes in your routine or environment that can eliminate unnecessary stress.
- Limit time with stress-inducing individuals. While you may not be able to remove certain people from your life—be it your mother, boss, or a challenging coworker—try to reduce interactions. Set boundaries, like calling your mom once a week instead of daily, and find ways to avoid stressful colleagues when possible.
Thiền. Meditation isn’t about emptying your mind but observing your thoughts as they come and go without judgment. Practicing even a few minutes daily can significantly reduce anxiety about potential future events.
- Find a comfortable spot and focus on deep breathing.
- Visualize each thought as a bubble floating toward the ceiling and popping.
- Listening to guided meditation sessions can also be beneficial.
Ăn socola. Treating yourself to something delicious, like chocolate, is a great way to distract from worries. Additionally, chocolate has been shown to reduce cortisol, the stress hormone linked to anxiety. The compounds in dark chocolate can genuinely uplift your mood.
Ngủ đủ giấc. If you’re constantly worried about family matters, getting enough sleep might seem easier said than done. However, staying up late can exacerbate anxiety. Studies show that those who go to bed earlier are less affected by anxious thoughts. Aim to sleep a bit earlier.
- Adults should aim for 7 to 8 hours of sleep per night, teenagers need 8 to 10 hours, and school-aged children require 9 to 11 hours.
Rèn luyện lòng biết ơn. If you’re anxious about something bad happening to you or your family, it’s a sign of how much you care! In other words, you have many things to be grateful for.
- Whenever anxiety strikes, pause and list five things you’re fortunate to have.
- Examples might include family, health, good weather, personal time, or a delicious meal.
