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When a loved one appears to be mentally unstable, you might feel unsure of what to say or do to help. While you cannot force someone to seek professional assistance, you can still support them by acknowledging their struggles, explaining the benefits of treatment, and expressing your care and support to help them navigate the crisis. Here, we’ve compiled some ways to encourage them to access the professional services they need and continue supporting them within your capacity.
Steps
Express your concern for the person
Start the conversation by describing the behaviors you’ve observed. It might feel challenging to discuss someone’s mental health, but using “I” statements allows you to express your concerns without making the other person feel judged or blamed.
- “I’ve been worried about you lately.”
- “I’ve noticed you’ve been acting differently, so I wanted to check in.”
- “I wanted to see how you’re doing because you seem (sad, stressed, frustrated).”
Ask open-ended questions
Use question words like 'how', 'what', or 'why.' By asking questions that require more than a simple 'yes' or 'no' answer, you can gain a deeper understanding of the person's situation and show that you care about their thoughts, feelings, and opinions.
- “How do you feel about that?”
- “What are you worried about?”
- “Can you tell me more about (the situation, feeling/experience)?”
Listen more than you speak
Practice active listening to make the other person feel heard. When actively listening, focus entirely on the speaker and pay close attention to what they are saying. Occasionally summarize their points and encourage them to continue sharing.
- Maintain eye contact and a relaxed posture.
- Clarify your understanding by saying, “So, you’re saying… is that correct?”
- Show you’re listening by nodding occasionally and using verbal cues like “Ah” or “I see.”
- Encourage them to elaborate with prompts like “What happened next?” or “Can you tell me more about that?”
Acknowledge the other person’s feelings
By acknowledging the other person’s feelings, you can build a connection with them. Many believe that validating someone’s emotions might reinforce negativity or worsen the situation. In reality, recognizing their feelings encourages openness and makes them feel understood. This connection can be instrumental in improving their state of mind.
- “I can see that you’re really frustrated/sad/angry.”
- “This sounds like a really tough situation.”
- “You seem upset.”
Let them know you’re there to support them
Remind them they’re not alone to help ease their discomfort. Struggling with mental health issues can make someone feel scared and isolated, and they might worry about burdening others with their problems. By clearly stating your willingness to help and stand by them, you can alleviate their frustration or doubts and reaffirm their value and importance.
- “I’m here for you. Tell me, what can I do to help?”
- “I may not know exactly how you’re feeling, but I care about you and want to help.”
- “You mean a lot to me.”
Encourage them to seek professional mental health support
Explain why professional therapy can be beneficial. While your support and care are invaluable, only a mental health professional can address the underlying issues causing their distress. Let them know that psychologists are trained and use scientifically proven methods to help them overcome their struggles.
- “Hearing how (frustrated/sad/angry/stressed) you’ve been, I’m really concerned. I think talking to someone about your feelings could be really helpful.”
- “Can I help you find a therapist or counselor?”
- If you’ve undergone therapy, share how it has helped you. This might make them more open to your suggestion.
- If they can’t afford it, suggest free or state-funded healthcare facilities (like Federally Qualified Health Centers in the U.S.) or contact the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) helpline 24/7 by texting NAMI to 741741.
Assist them in every possible way to facilitate their healing process.
Offer to drive them or accompany them to the clinic, or help cover part of the expenses. You might also suggest assisting them in contacting their primary healthcare provider for a referral to a psychologist. Simply sitting with them to find a psychologist through a workplace referral program or online can be incredibly helpful. However, everyone has different preferences for support, so it's essential to ask how they'd like to be helped and respect their boundaries.
If possible, express your willingness to help them with everyday tasks.
Assist them with daily chores to alleviate stress. Collaborating on tasks can also reduce their feelings of loneliness. This is particularly important as chronic stress and loneliness can exacerbate mental health issues. Remember to allocate time and energy for yourself by choosing tasks you feel capable of handling and ensuring you can follow through.
Be vigilant for any warning signs of suicide.
If you believe the person might harm themselves, seek immediate assistance. Contact the national emergency number or the suicide prevention hotline in your country, such as 988 if you're in the U.S. (you can also text this number).
Take care of yourself.
If you feel overwhelmed, set boundaries with them. Supporting someone with mental health issues can be challenging. It's perfectly acceptable to define limits on when you can talk, what can be discussed, and how they communicate with you if they are disrespectful or abusive. Remember, you need to take good care of yourself to be able to care for others!
