How to Support Someone with Anxiety

If you're acquainted with someone who suffers from anxiety, you probably understand that it can be a condition that disables emotions, leaving the mind weary, drained, and powerless. Thankfully, there are several things we can do to help them cope with and manage their anxiety.

Understand the causes of anxiety. Read about the factors that contribute to anxiety. This will allow you to better understand their perspective and recognize when they may need support. You can ask if they've experienced difficult past events, health issues, or if there's anything they would like to share.

• While the exact causes of anxiety disorders aren't fully understood, specific triggers like pain, life shocks, and genetic traits may increase the likelihood of developing anxiety.
• Often, anxious individuals may also have other health conditions such as irritable bowel syndrome, heart disease, premenstrual syndrome, asthma, or thyroid problems.

Learn About the Types of Anxiety. There are various forms of anxiety disorders, each arising from different causes. Try to identify which type the person is experiencing to better assist their efforts.

• Agoraphobia. This type involves the fear of being trapped or losing control in an open space.
• Health-related anxiety. This form of anxiety stems from physical health issues, such as irritable bowel syndrome, heart disease, or thyroid problems. You can help alleviate their anxiety by managing their health condition (e.g., remind them if they forget to take their medication).
• Generalized Anxiety Disorder. This type of anxiety involves excessive worry over everyday issues like money, health, work, etc.
• Anxiety linked to substance abuse or withdrawal. This is anxiety caused by drug use. You should explore whether the anxiety results from substance use or withdrawal. You can suggest seeing a healthcare professional for support.
• Panic Disorder. This type involves intense feelings of anxiety or fear that last for several minutes, with symptoms such as shortness of breath, rapid heartbeat, and a sense of impending danger.
• Social Anxiety Disorder. This involves excessive fear of social interactions, where the person becomes overly self-conscious, embarrassed, or fearful in social situations.

Remember the Feelings of Anxiety. Anxiety is not a pleasant experience. To help, it's important to understand what the person is going through so that you can comfort them based on their symptoms. These symptoms may include:

• Feeling anxious
• Feeling helpless
• Feeling that danger is near
• Feeling weak
• Feeling exhausted
• Difficulty concentrating

Listen Carefully. Each person will need different types of support. The best way to know what help is needed is to ask them directly. There are many things you can do by simply listening:

• Maintain a neutral expression. For example, say things like "I understand" or "Uh-huh".
• Match your tone and expression with the emotional context of the conversation. If they feel frustrated, try saying "I understand" with a tone of empathy or reassurance, not with a cold or overly enthusiastic expression (both are in contrast to their feelings).
• Ask open-ended questions. Instead of asking questions like "Are you anxious?", you can ask open-ended questions such as "What situations or things make you feel anxious?"
• Focus your attention on them by clearing your mind of personal worries and paying attention to their thoughts and emotions.

Practice Empathy. Empathy involves recognizing and understanding the feelings of another person by imagining what they might be thinking and feeling. Here are some ways to develop empathy for someone with anxiety:

• Give them your full attention
• Remember the values and experiences they share. Understand that everyone has their own fears, worries, and pain, which will help you better relate to their perspective.
• Temporarily suspend your own judgments and only consider their point of view
• Share related experiences moderately, without dominating the conversation. The key is to show them that you relate to what they're going through.

Observe the Anxious Person. Learn to notice the signs that indicate they may be anxious, so you can offer support or comfort when necessary. Here are some signs to watch for:

• Restlessness
• Rapid breathing
• Excessive sweating
• Trembling

Focus on the Benefits and Drawbacks. Try to remember that if you aren't gaining much from an activity but it causes your friend anxiety, it's best to stop doing that activity.

• However, you might want to avoid overwhelming them with too much anxiety as it can provide small motivation for change.

Positively Reinforce Healthy Behaviors. If they suffer from social anxiety but decide to attend a party to meet new people, let them know that they were the center of attention and compliment what they said.

• This helps them realize that participating in social events isn't so bad, and they can improve their social interactions.

Avoid Unhealthy Criticism or Behaviors that Heighten Anxiety. If you reprimand them for their anxious behaviors, it may cause them to feel even more anxious. This is the opposite of what you want.

• If you're feeling frustrated with them, instead of criticizing, leave the room and return once you've calmed down.
• Rather than focusing on their negative behaviors, try to think of positive ways they might change. For instance, if they avoid social situations, instead of getting upset, try encouraging them by saying, "Just think of all the opportunities to meet people at tonight's party. You've met many great friends at events like this in the past."

Suggest Treatment Options. You can help someone with anxiety by suggesting they seek treatment. You can suggest that many people successfully manage anxiety by seeing a therapist, taking medication, or a combination of both.

• Remember that the treatment options you propose should depend on the type of anxiety or its underlying cause.
• For example, if their anxiety is due to substance abuse, you might suggest checking into a rehabilitation center. However, if they have social anxiety, you could recommend they see a mental health professional.

Prepare for Panic Attacks. Certain forms of anxiety can cause individuals to experience panic attacks, making it hard for them to breathe, their heart to race, and feel as though they are having a heart attack and losing control. Panic attacks can be incredibly frightening for someone with anxiety and for you if you're unprepared.

• If they experience a panic attack, they may have no energy to move, respond, or think clearly. Instead of becoming frustrated or anxious yourself, try reassuring them that they are having a panic attack, and it will soon pass.
• If you suspect any symptoms are not related to a panic attack, call emergency services immediately.

Relax. Take them outside to enjoy a quiet, peaceful evening or relax at home.

• Let them know that you’re happy to spend time with them in a way that makes them feel comfortable and at ease. Perhaps the most effective way to help someone with anxiety is by being empathetic and flexible.