Buzz
If you’re in a disagreement with your boyfriend or he's been giving you the cold shoulder, breaking up isn't your goal—you just want him to learn a lesson! When discussions don't seem effective, giving him the silent treatment could be your next strategy. While it's important not to go too far and worsen the situation, a bit of silence can definitely get his attention. We’ve created a guide on how to ignore your boyfriend to teach him a lesson.
Steps
Give him the cold shoulder.
The silent treatment will communicate to your boyfriend that something isn't right. It might feel tough, but act as though he’s invisible. You’ve expressed your concerns, but he didn’t listen, so now it's time for a different approach. Avoid conversations by retreating to another room or muting his calls.
- The first few hours, or even days, may be challenging, but this is your opportunity to let him reflect on his behavior.
- This silence forces him to confront his thoughts and wonder what went wrong, eventually making him realize his mistake.
Keep your responses brief when you speak to him.
One-word replies will make him miss hearing your opinions and thoughts. There are some questions or statements that require quick responses, like “Do you want Chinese for dinner?” or “I’m going out. Be back at 12.” Even though you're answering him, your lack of elaboration shows you're still keeping your distance.
- Offer direct answers that don't need further explanation.
- Short replies like “okay,” “nah,” or “fine” signal that you’re acknowledging him but aren’t interested in engaging in a lengthy conversation. Your voice has weight, so show him how valuable it is by not participating in extended talks.
- If he asks, “How are you?” just reply with a 👍 or a quick “Ok.”
Slow down your replies when he calls.
Let him leave a voicemail so he understands not to take your attention for granted. Take your time returning his calls, waiting hours or even days before responding. If he texts you, leave him on read.
- When he notices you’ve read his message but haven’t replied, he will wonder why you’re not talking to him and if he did something to upset you.
- Only reply if he asks something only you can address, especially if it involves child care or finances. Wait a couple of hours before returning the call, so he knows you’re still upset.
- Changing his ringtone can help you prepare when he calls. Instead of rushing to grab your phone when it rings, you can let it go to voicemail when you hear his specific ringtone.
Give him the silent treatment on social media.
Cutting off all communication with him will make it clear that you're serious. He might assume you’re only ignoring him in person, so extend that silence to Instagram, Twitter, and Snapchat. It may be difficult, but resist the urge to like his posts or send him memes—stand firm.
- You deserve his attention, and by keeping your distance, you’re showing him what he’ll lose if you walk away.
- When you feel the urge to connect, engage with other friends on social media.
- Save those posts that remind you of him. Once he’s learned his lesson, you can share them with him!
Give him some space.
Taking time apart gives him room to reflect on what’s happened. The simplest way to ignore someone is to give them space, so take a deep breath and step away. Treat yourself to a coffee, visit your favorite store, or watch a movie. Do something you love while he thinks.
- By simply being absent, you give him the opportunity to ponder his actions. He’ll realize how much he misses you when you're not around.
Stay occupied.
Staying busy will make him long for your time together. Use this time to get back into your routine. Take an art class or plan a lunch date with a friend. Keep living your life, even if it means doing things without him.
- He’ll begin to miss you as you keep going about your life without him. This will prompt him to reflect on why you’re ignoring him, and who knows—maybe he’s feeling just as hurt as you.
Focus more on your guy friends.
Giving attention to other men will stir up some jealousy in him. Men are naturally competitive, and when your boyfriend notices you hanging out with other guys, it’s sure to trigger something in him. Let him see that you have options, and a little jealousy might make him wish he hadn’t made mistakes with you in the first place!
- Invite a few male friends over for a movie night or attend a sports game with them.
- Share a group picture on social media to show your boyfriend how much fun you're having!
- Just be mindful not to act too flirtatious. You don’t want to give him the wrong impression—keep it friendly and laid-back.
- Don’t forget, you’re incredible, and if he can’t see that, he’s simply not worth your time!
Give him room to take the lead.
Allowing your boyfriend to take the first step in apologizing will make him feel understood. Emotions might be running high, but giving him the chance to apologize first will not only help him learn his lesson, but also strengthen your relationship.
- It might be tough for him to take that first step, so be patient. Perhaps he’ll text you asking to meet up, or he’ll wait for the right moment to approach. Let him move at his own pace, and listen closely to everything he has to say.
Take time for self-care.
Taking time for yourself will show him you’re capable of living without him. It’s easy to fall into the rhythm of doing things together in a relationship, but who says you can’t enjoy yourself solo? Treat yourself to a solo outing doing something you love or head to a spa to relax. Make sure to capture these moments so he can see how much fun you’re having!
- Taking care of yourself is crucial, especially when teaching your man a lesson. Your needs come first, and that’s okay.
- Share pictures of your solo adventures on social media. Prove to your boyfriend that you can have just as much fun on your own!
Spend more time with your friends.
Socializing with others proves you’re independent. Make an effort to reach out to new and old friends. Spending time with others will keep you occupied and may spark a little jealousy in your boyfriend, making him question why you’re ignoring him and prompting him to change his behavior.
- A bit of jealousy can be healthy! It offers a fresh perspective and can make him realize his mistake, pushing him to make a change.
Change up your routine.
When you schedule your day around yourself, he’ll realize he’s not the center of your world. It might be tough avoiding someone you live with, but use this as an opportunity to take control of your own schedule. Instead of adjusting to his routine, prioritize yours.
- If you’ve always wanted to rise early for a morning hike, do it! Go after the things you’ve always wanted to do as if he weren’t there.
- This will show him that you deserve his attention. He’ll start to miss being part of your daily routine and may want to make amends to be involved again.
Speak to him when you're ready.
Sharing your emotions can deepen your bond. Whenever you feel prepared, let him know what’s on your mind. It could be today, tomorrow, or even later—take your time. Approach him when it feels right and be truthful about how you’re feeling. He may not even realize he’s hurt you, and he won’t understand unless you express it to him.
- Your emotions are important, and no one should make you feel otherwise. If he genuinely cares for you, he will listen.
