How to Tell a Guy That You Like Him

Are you feeling nervous around a guy? Congratulations! Acknowledging your feelings means you’ve taken the first step, but sharing them with him will be much harder. This guide will walk you through everything from flirting and getting to know each other to confessing your feelings. Be brave!

Find out if he likes you. If he does, approach him with confidence—there’s nothing to lose! If not, don’t give up; you still have a chance to change his mind. Of course, if he’s dating someone else, you should back off for now. But if he hasn’t developed feelings for you, there’s plenty of time to get closer and flirt. Here are some ways to find out how he feels before you make a move:

• Ask others about him. If you’re shy, ask a close friend to subtly find out if he likes you or if there are any signs. If you find evidence that he does, great! You have a reason to be bolder.
• Observe any signs he might give off. If a guy likes you, he will often find reasons to be near you. (This isn’t always true, but it’s usually a good sign). He may try to sit next to you, show up at social events you attend, or even start interacting with your friends. Keep an eye out!
• If you catch him staring at you, look into his eyes and hold the gaze for a few seconds. If he keeps looking at you, it’s clear he’s interested. If he looks away, he might still like you but could be shy. However, remember there could be other reasons why someone looks at you—maybe you have something on your face!

Start a conversation with him with simple stories. To express your feelings to a guy, the first step is to engage with him. This involves showing a friendly attitude, getting to know each other a little, and then gradually building up to a more intimate connection. This is also a good opportunity to learn more about him. Once you’ve gathered a few details, you can reconsider whether or not to share your feelings. There are several ways to start a friendly conversation:

• Start by complimenting him on something. Something that makes him feel proud is a great way to break the ice. You could try:
  • "That football match last weekend was amazing! I was there with my friends too. How long have you been playing football?"
  • "How do you always manage to get the highest grades in English? Do you read the minds of all the teachers or just that one specific teacher?"
  • "I really like your hairstyle. Did you just get a haircut?"

Talk about common events or experiences. A great conversation starter is to mention something both of you could participate in (it doesn’t have to be a shared interest—he might enjoy joining you). This makes the conversation more relaxed for both parties.

• Here are a few examples of how to start a conversation:
  • "Hey, do you know the math homework assignment? I forgot my notebook in class, and now I can’t remember it."
  • "Does your brother go to Lê Hồng Phong school? My sister said you two are in the same class!"
  • "Is that a Schwinn bike you have? I was thinking of asking my parents for one this Christmas!"
• It's not mandatory, but here's a tip: Don’t confess your feelings just yet if the two of you still haven’t developed a comfortable rapport. If you tell a guy you like him too soon, it might scare him off, and that could affect your friendship or future relationship with him.

Try flirting with him! Typically, guys aren’t very quick to pick up on when a girl is flirting with them. This is actually understandable—there’s plenty of advice online helping guys answer the question, "Is she flirting with me?" However, this doesn’t mean you should flirt overtly, but rather understand that he might not flirt back even if he does like you.

• When he's talking, try twirling your hair with your hand. This gesture is natural and won't give off any inappropriate vibes, but he’ll likely notice if he's paying attention. It’s a simple way to flirt without overdoing it.
• Ask him to help you with something. This is a cute gesture, but it can backfire for some reasons: he might feel uncomfortable helping you in front of your or his friends. Stick to small favors, such as:
  • Carrying your backpack for you. You could say it's too heavy, and you need someone stronger to help.
  • Doing a homework assignment together, even if you don’t need help. This is a great excuse to get closer and gauge his patience.
  • Just don’t push too hard – don’t ask him to do something big like cleaning your house!
• Smile, make eye contact, and always be present. Show him your most attractive qualities. Give him a seductive smile, a captivating gaze, and be near him when you can. He’ll soon take notice!

Break physical boundaries. Start expressing your feelings through subtle touches in safe zones. Here are a few ideas you can try:

• Lean on his shoulder. Pretend to be bored and rest your head on his shoulder, or just place your hand on his shoulder. Gaze affectionately at him if he looks back at you.
• If he teases you, you can playfully tap his shoulder. Girls often do this when a mischievous guy teases them. You could also act like you’re pouting or respond with a laugh.
• Find reasons to touch him. If he has big hands, go ahead and hold his hand, saying something like, "Wow, your hands are huge! Look how small mine are compared to yours!" Gently place your hand next to his.

If you're ready to confess your feelings, there are several ways to go about it. If you're feeling brave, you can just tell him directly. The key is finding a moment when he's not with his friends and when there’s enough time to talk. Be confident (the more confident you are, the better). Start with a casual conversation and wait for a natural lull before expressing your feelings.

If you're worried about what he might say, just invite him out to hang out. It's a great way to show your interest without being too obvious. All you need to do is casually ask him if he wants to go somewhere with you. If he's responded positively to your conversations and playful teasing in the past, there’s no reason he would turn you down! You could try:

• "I was planning to go watch a movie with a friend this Saturday, but she can't make it. Would you like to join me?"
• "I’ve been dying to go to that haunted house, but I can’t find anyone brave enough to come with me. Are you up for it?"
• "My parents and I go to the city fair every year – it’s a long story, don’t ask – they asked if I wanted to invite someone from school. Would you like to come?"

If you want to take a less direct approach, write him a note. You can send it yourself or have a close friend deliver it for you.

• Write a sweet message, "I like you" and slip it into his locker.
• Write "I like you" on a piece of paper, and don’t include the sender's name. Ask some friends to pass it along, and ‘accidentally’ make sure it gets to him. If he reads it and looks around, you could either signal that it’s from you or leave him to guess who wrote it.

No matter what his response is, you should be confident. If he agrees, believe that he likes you just as you are and that you're truly a wonderful girl. Don’t second-guess his reaction – you could end up hurting yourself if you say "Really?" when he admits he likes you too. You have every reason to feel good about yourself.

• If he doesn’t return your feelings, let him down easy with something like, "It’s okay. Don’t worry about it." Then move on! Remember, his rejection doesn’t mean he thinks poorly of you. His feelings might just be complicated. Stay confident that his preferences don't define your worth, and many other guys would be lucky to win your heart. Truly!

If you're feeling brave, text him saying "Oh my god, (insert his name here) you’re too cute!!!" If he likes you, he’ll have no reason not to ask you out.

Clarify your feelings for the guy you have a crush on. Romantic emotions can be confusing! Take a few days to reflect on your feelings and follow some of the suggestions in this article. Acting too soon could lead to realizing that your emotions for the person you’re infatuated with might change over time.

• Ask yourself questions like: "Do I truly have feelings for this guy, or is it just a crush?" "What do I like about him?" "What do I hope will happen?" If you can't answer these questions, take some time to learn more about him before moving forward.
• Only you can know if you really like someone. However, if you’re feeling adventurous, you could try taking online quizzes and interpret the results your own way.

Don’t create an idealized image of him in your mind. No matter how charming the guy who makes your heart race may be, he’s still just a person! He might be just as nervous talking about his crush as you are. Similarly, even if he doesn’t show it, he likely has flaws too. Don’t invest too much emotion into a relationship that hasn’t even started yet!

• If you can’t stop thinking about his perfect image, try noticing the small details that show he’s not as perfect as he seems. Does he have a tiny scar on his head? Does he pronounce the word “idol” as “thần tượng”? Realizing that everyone has imperfections can make even the most perfect guy seem more approachable.

Pay attention to his behavior. Does he seem to be especially interested in you? Does he smile more when he’s around you? Or on the contrary, does he tease you and playfully ignore you? These signs suggest he might have feelings for you. If you spot these flirtatious signals, it’ll be easier to open up since you’ll have some idea of his feelings towards you!

• A guy’s body language can reveal a lot about his emotions. Does he angle his chest and shoulders toward you, even if he’s focused on something else? Does he seem to look at you frequently? Maybe he’s thinking about how to express his feelings for you!

Understand that negative reactions aren’t something to worry about. He might not reciprocate your feelings, no matter how well you’ve prepared yourself. You should accept this possibility and try not to dwell on it – even if he rejects you, it doesn’t mean he dislikes you. It simply means he’s not ready to date you right now. There could be many reasons for this. Don’t let him see that you’re upset by his negative response (even if you actually are).

• He might still be confused after a recent breakup.
• His feelings might still be immature and not yet suitable for pursuing a relationship.
• He could just want to enjoy his freedom for a while.

Let go of the belief that men should always take the lead. In the past, it may have caused gossip if women invited men out, but those days are long gone. However, many women still feel shy about making the first move. A survey of mostly college-age women showed that 93% prefer men to ask them out. Be proactive! You’ll have more opportunities for dates if you’re confident enough to make the first move yourself.

Plan for the date! Keep the excitement alive – don’t let the budding attraction fade because both of you are shy about making plans for the date. You don’t have to date right away, even when you both know how you feel about each other. Instead, plan the date within a week or two. This gives you time to learn more about each other and determine if you’re a perfect match.

• The best time for a date is on the weekend after you’ve expressed your feelings.
• For the first date, make sure to allow enough time to talk to each other. For instance, if you're planning to watch a movie, also schedule a dinner. The first date should be natural, pressure-free, and personal for just the two of you.
• The date doesn’t need to be extravagant. A great first date could simply be studying together at home or going for a walk in the park. Here are some inexpensive ideas if you’re still unsure:
  • A local carnival, fair, or amusement park.
  • Roller skating or ice skating. If one of you isn’t good at it, even better – you’ll be leaning on each other to stay balanced!
  • A picnic. If you make it to the top of a hill or slope, you’ll be rewarded with a breathtaking (and romantic!) view.

Don’t overthink it! The period between confessing your feelings and actually dating can be full of anticipation and nervousness, but try not to worry! The first date is an opportunity to really get to know someone.

• If you're nervous, talk to your girlfriends. They’ll probably share funny stories about their own disastrous first dates! At least they’ll remind you that the first date isn’t usually as intense as it might feel.

Stay in touch, but not too much. You can send flirty texts before the first date, but don’t go overboard. It’s easy to shower him with compliments, especially when you’re both into each other. Resist that urge – too much too soon can be overwhelming, especially if he has less experience in relationships than you. Many people even recommend creating a sense of mystery before the first date by going a little ‘radio silent.’

Be yourself on the first date! Once you know he likes you too, it might be hard not to adjust your behavior slightly. But remember, he likes you for who you are – you don’t need to pretend to be someone else! Act naturally, like you usually would around him – tell inside jokes, tease him like you always do. If you're the right match, that’s all you need to do.

• If you want to ask him whether he likes you, make sure to do it when he’s alone. Under the pressure of trying to act cool in front of his friends, he might say "no" regardless of how he truly feels.
• Boys have feelings just like girls. If he seems nervous or blushes, don’t laugh, hit him, or tease him. While it could be seen as playful flirting, it’s better to save that for when you’re actually "dating".
• Act naturally and at ease around him. You might hear this advice hundreds of times, but just be yourself. You don’t need to change to fit someone else’s approval. If he truly likes you, he will accept you as you are.
• Before telling him how you feel, take care of him, but don’t overdo it. Give him gifts for special occasions, but don’t go overboard. If you’ve just returned from a trip, don’t buy him anything but instead give a gift to a girlfriend in front of him. This little “act of indifference” will make him feel even more moved when you express your feelings.
• Don’t forget that you can always ask him if he likes you before you confess. If he says “no,” you can respond with: “Wow, my friends keep saying you like me, but I know that’s not true.”
• Try spending more time with him. It will help you get to know each other better.
• Texting a guy can be risky if he shows your messages to others.
• If you catch him looking at you, don’t look away. He might think you’re not interested!
• Choose low-stress activities for the both of you, like camping, walking, or watching a movie.
• Give him a day to think about it. You want a healthy relationship. Most guys are nervous when you directly confess, and they might say things they’ll regret later!
• If you want to leave a note in someone’s locker, do it when no one’s watching or have a friend do it for you. Just make sure it’s the right locker. If you make a mistake, it’s not a big deal. Just send them a second note, apologizing for the mix-up and asking for the paper back or to have it thrown away.
• Even if you really like a guy, don’t hesitate to refuse if he takes advantage of you. If he asks you to do things you’re uncomfortable with or feel are wrong, don’t be afraid to say “no” just because you fear he’ll reject you.

• Don’t bring up his past (whether on dates or in general conversation) if you know anything about it. No one can control the past. At best, he will brush it off and ask why you’re bringing it up; at worst, he might see you as someone who’s prying into his personal life.
• When you tell him that you like him, don’t be surprised if he seems a little shocked. He might have no idea that you feel that way.
• Be cautious when confiding in others that you like him, especially if you’re in the same school – rumors can spread fast. The best way to keep it a secret is not to tell anyone. If you really need to talk to someone, make sure it’s someone who can be trusted to keep it to themselves, or better yet, talk to someone far away who won’t repeat it (like a friend from another school or via letter).
• Don’t keep texting your guy constantly. It will make you look desperate and obsessive unless he’s responding right away. In that case, it’s fine to continue texting, but make sure there’s a reason.