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Choosing the person you want to spend your future with is a life-altering decision. Determining if you've found 'the one' can often be a challenging task. Are there any key signs to help you figure out if your partner is truly Mr. Right or just Mr. Right Now? In this guide, we’ll highlight essential traits that could indicate whether your partner has the potential to be a great husband.
Steps
Assessing His Level of Respect
Pay attention to his behavior during disagreements. Everyone has moments they regret, especially in heated arguments. How your partner behaves when you disagree can reveal a lot about his respect for you. Pay attention to the way he treats you during disagreements.
- He should never resort to insults, aggression, or actions that make you feel unsafe or disrespected. Even when emotions run high, he should maintain respect. If he doesn’t, it could be time to reconsider the relationship.
Observe how he treats others. It’s often said that the way a person interacts with those who are serving them reflects their true character. For the most part, this is quite accurate. Pay attention to how he treats other people. If he’s frequently rude, unkind, or dismissive toward others, that’s a major red flag.
- You can often gauge how much respect he has for you based on how he treats the people close to you. The man you’re thinking about spending your life with should show respect and kindness to your loved ones, even if they don’t always get along. At the very least, he should treat them well because he values you. If he can’t do this, it may be time to reconsider your relationship.
Consider if he tries to change you. No one is perfect, not even your potential husband. While you may accept his imperfections, he should do the same for you. He should understand that you have strengths and weaknesses, and love you for who you are.
- A man who is husband material shouldn’t make you feel bad about your flaws. You should be comfortable being yourself around him, without feeling the need to hide anything. If he can’t accept you for who you are, it might be time to look for someone else.
Ask yourself if you feel safe with him. It’s not necessarily your potential husband’s role to protect you from the world, but it is his responsibility to ensure that you never feel unsafe with him. You should always feel free to express your feelings and thoughts without fear.
- If you don’t feel safe discussing sensitive topics with him, that’s a serious concern. While it’s normal for him to feel upset if you disagree, it should never lead to behavior that makes you feel afraid. Before making a commitment, ask yourself whether you truly enjoy being with him or if you’re holding onto an unhealthy attachment.
- If you’re scared to speak your mind or to break up with him, that’s a clear warning sign.
Ask yourself if he’s willing to invest in the relationship. A successful partnership requires effort from both people. A happy marriage isn’t the result of one partner doing all the work while the other merely shows up.
- Think about your relationship history and consider whether he has put in as much effort to make the relationship work as you have. If he hasn’t, he may not value the relationship as much as you do.
EXPERT TIP
John Keegan
Relationship Expert
Relationship Expert
Setting clear expectations is crucial for a lasting relationship. Look for a partner who shares your outlook on commitment. If you're seeking something long-term, find someone who is ready to face life's challenges together with you.
Challenging Common Assumptions
Determine if he’s even interested in marriage. While you might see your partner as a great match for marriage, it doesn't matter if he’s not on the same page. Ask about his views on marriage once you start feeling that he might be 'the one.' Continuing a relationship with opposing views on marriage can lead to frustration.
- Casually ask him about his thoughts on marriage. Try something like, “Do you ever see yourself settling down and getting married?” Pay attention to his comments about others' marriages, as they can provide insight into his personal feelings on the matter.
- Don’t cling to the hope that he’ll change his stance for the right person. While opinions can evolve over time, it’s something he must choose willingly, not something you can pressure him into. What you see now is likely what you’ll get.
- If your boyfriend doesn’t want marriage and it’s important to you, it may indicate that you're not right for each other. However, there are many other people who share your goals.
- Reader Poll: We asked 452 Mytour readers how they feel about marriage, and 72% said marriage is important to them and they’d like to marry someday. [Take Poll]
Evaluate if you share core values. While it’s often said that opposites attract, it’s important to recognize that significant issues can arise later if you don’t have aligned values. What seems charming now could lead to endless disagreements after a few years of marriage.
- Couples don’t need to agree on everything, such as religion or other core beliefs, but they should respect each other’s values. If your beliefs are incompatible, your relationship may face serious challenges.
- For instance, if you prioritize honesty but your partner has a habit of lying, this could become a major conflict. Similarly, if you value family time and your partner focuses primarily on work, this could create a wedge between you over time.
Consider if your life goals are aligned. A successful marriage doesn’t require both partners to have identical life goals, but having similar objectives can make things easier. If your outlook on life is drastically different from your partner’s, problems may arise later on.
- For example, if you dream of owning a home but he’s content renting long-term, this could create tension. Likewise, if you don’t want children but he already has names picked out, this could lead to significant heartbreak down the road.
Evaluating Your Happiness
Reflect on whether you’re happier with or without him. While not every day will be filled with romance, you’ve probably found 'the one' if you feel like a better version of yourself when he’s in your life. True partners make each other better and happier.
- If you’re unsure about the relationship, taking a step back may help you figure out whether your life feels more fulfilled when he’s around. If not, it might be time to let go and move forward.
Consider whether he’s supportive of you. Does your potential life partner lift you up, or does he try to tear you down? Does he offer encouragement, or does he mock your dreams? A good spouse helps you grow and believes in you.
- If he only supports you when it benefits him, he might not be the one. However, if he’s willing to put your goals first and let you chase your dreams, you might have found someone special.
Assess if you have fun together. Relationships thrive when both partners can enjoy each other’s company. Having fun together comes naturally when you balance each other’s personalities and give each other the freedom to be yourselves. While you don’t need to have identical traits, your relationship flourishes when your differences complement one another.
- A red flag is when you feel unhappy more often than happy. Relationships aren’t just about having fun all the time, but there should be enough joy to make the connection worthwhile and lasting.
Consider if he makes you feel valued. While constant compliments aren’t necessary, your partner should make you feel good about yourself. This means no criticism of your appearance, weight, or intelligence. You should feel cherished and appreciated by him. If he doesn’t make you feel worthy of his love, it might be time to look elsewhere.
- He doesn’t need to praise you endlessly, but he should express how much he values your presence in his life from time to time.
