How to tell if someone truly loves you

There is no guaranteed method to determine if someone truly loves you, but there are several signs you can observe to better understand the true feelings of the person you care about. To know whether they genuinely love you, pay attention to their behavior, the words they say, and the actions they take when you're together. While love means different things to everyone, there are numerous ways to tell whether someone genuinely cares for you, likes you, or is just infatuated with you in the moment.

See if they act naturally when they're around you. A part of love is being completely open with the other person. If you notice a side of them they don’t show to others, it could be a sign of real love. For instance, if your partner is usually serious and polite in public, but acts a bit silly or awkward when it's just the two of you, this might indicate they are genuinely sincere and in love with you.

• If they open up and share their deepest feelings with you comfortably, that's love.
• If they're perfectly at ease looking imperfect around you – even if they stumble or have food stuck in their teeth – it means they feel no issue with you seeing every side of them.

Evaluate if the person feels happy when they're with you. This should hold true even on a particularly bad day. If the person you love has had a rough day but seems uplifted when they see you, that’s a sign of love. If they love you, seeing you or hearing your voice will likely make them feel better – even if just a little.

• The next time they seem grumpy or have a tough day, observe how they react when you're around.

Notice if they look at you with sparkling eyes. While this might sound silly, take note of their facial expression the next time you meet. Do they gaze at you with that silly, sparkling, dazed, and endearing look that could be described as ‘twinkling eyes’? You’ll know when you see it. This look isn’t something you’ll always get – it might happen in the morning or unexpectedly during dinner.

• You might also catch them staring at you with that same look.

See if the person feels elated when they're with you. Love often makes people feel giddy, lighthearted, and laugh for no particular reason. If you notice the person acting this way when you're around, it might be love. Does your partner seem excited, happy, and smile easily for no reason when you're together? If yes, then it’s likely love.

• If you say something uninteresting and they laugh joyfully, they are probably smitten with you.
• If they appear nervous or restless when they're near you, it’s likely they’re just excited by your presence.

Ask yourself if the person feels sad when you're upset. If you're going through a significant emotional pain or even just feeling down because of a cold, it will likely affect the person who truly loves you. If they love you, they will be impacted by your negative emotions and feel saddened because they want you to feel better as soon as possible.

• Although they don’t need to be as upset as you, they will clearly be affected by your mood because all they want is for you to be happy.

Notice if they speak about your shared future in a positive light. If someone truly loves you, the thought of having you in their future should come naturally, not something they worry about or feel uncertain about. If they often talk about things you’ll do together in the future, or how life will be for both of you in the coming years, it’s a clear sign they love you.

• A genuine promise about the future means envisioning a life with someone else. If they frequently talk about the future and include you in it, then they likely love you deeply.
• If they talk about what your children might look like, where you’ll retire, or your honeymoon destination, it’s a sign they love you.

Observe if they offer you meaningful compliments. There’s a big difference between saying, 'I like your new hairstyle' and 'You always make me feel better, no matter what happens.' If they give you compliments that show appreciation for important aspects of your character and personality, it's a sign they love you.

• Your partner doesn’t need to shower you with compliments constantly – it’s the quality of the compliments that matter, not the quantity.

Determine if their 'I love you's' are sincere. Remember, there’s a big difference between ‘I love you!’ and ‘I love you.’ If your partner truly loves you, and they say it while looking into your eyes with a serious tone, without expecting anything in return, then it’s certainly a heartfelt confession.

• If they truly love you, they will say it without any ulterior motives, not just because they need something or because it’s what they feel obligated to say.

See if they are truly open with you. If the person you love genuinely loves you back, they will open up and share their thoughts, feelings, fears, and desires with you. If they open up about their past, regrets, painful moments, or even their most romantic dreams for the future, it’s a clear sign they care deeply for you.

• If they tell you, 'I’ve never shared this with anyone...' then they truly love and trust you.

Expect to be missed when you’re apart. If you and your partner are separated, but they still text, call, or email you to let you know how much they miss you, it shows they can’t imagine life without you. However, if you’re away for weeks and they don’t reach out, it may not be love.

• They don’t need to constantly call to let you know they miss you, but if they do reach out occasionally, that’s a good sign.

Look for signs that they point out your mistakes. If someone truly loves you, they won’t have an idealized version of you in their mind. True love means they will feel comfortable enough to tell you when you’ve made a mistake, said something unreasonable, or acted inappropriately. While they shouldn’t always criticize you, offering constructive criticism shows they truly understand and accept both your flaws and your strengths.

• If they never argue with you or never criticize you, be cautious. Make sure they love you, not just an ideal version of you.

Notice if they genuinely value your opinions. If someone truly loves you, they will care about your thoughts – whether it’s about your new shoes or the political situation in your country. If they truly love you, they will ask for your opinions and advice, no matter if it’s something small or something significant. They might feel shy about asking, but they’ll do it because they care for you.

• They don’t need to ask for your opinion on everything – only on matters that truly matter.

Expect to be heard. If they truly love you, they won’t just open up to you, but will also listen to everything you have to say – even if they’ve heard it all before. They may not be a constant presence by your side, but they will be there to hear your thoughts. They will nod, listen carefully, and respond thoughtfully without changing the subject to something they want to talk about.

• Part of love is simply being able to listen, not just talk.

See if they’re always there for you. Even when it’s inconvenient. Surely, if you want to go out for a nice drink or meal, they’ll be happy to join, but what about when you need someone to pick you up from the airport or take your dog for a walk when you’re sick? If they truly love you, they’ll stand by you, whether it’s during the good times or the tough ones.

• If they’re only there for you when you’re happy and carefree, but disappear when you’re upset or irritable, that’s not love.
• True love means always being there, no matter what happens. To love someone is to accept both the good and the bad, and to stay by their side through it all.

Consider the kind gestures they’ve made for you. If someone truly loves you, they’ll do things like filling up your gas when you’re too busy, bringing you food, or even delivering chicken porridge when you’re sick at home. These acts don’t need to happen constantly or in large amounts, but if they love you, they’ll want to do things that bring a smile to your face and make life a little easier for you.

• True love isn’t only about receiving from the other person, it’s also about what you can give.
• If they really love you, they’ll do thoughtful things for you without you having to ask. Sometimes, you may need to subtly ask for help or support. If you always have to ask them to do something special for you, it might not be genuine love.

Notice if they want to be with you all the time. Part of love is the desire to be close to the person you love, even when it seems impractical. If someone truly loves you, they will want to spend as much time with you as possible. This doesn’t mean they’ll want to cling to you, but it does mean they’ll make every effort to meet up whenever they can.

Allow them to give you space. If they really love you, they won’t only want to be by your side but will also understand when it’s time to give you some space and let you handle your own business. If someone insists on being with you at all times, that’s not love – it’s obsession. As love matures, both partners realize the importance of maintaining their individuality.

• If they want to be with you all the time, it might signal insecurity rather than genuine love.

Determine if they truly understand you. True love is rooted in understanding. While it may sound cliché, they must genuinely "get" you in order to love you. If they understand your moods, know what makes you happy before you even realize it, then that’s true love.

• You can definitely keep a certain level of mystery – you don’t need to be 100% understood, but you should feel that, for the most part, they truly understand your attitudes and perspectives.

Consider whether they genuinely wish the best for you. This must be true, even if what’s best for you isn’t necessarily what’s best for them. If someone really loves you, they’ll understand that certain things you need to do might not benefit them, even if it means being apart for a while. If they truly love you, they’ll understand when you need to spend the summer on a remote island pursuing marine biology research or go home early to rest before an exam instead of spending the night with them.

• If they only ever want what’s best for both of you, it may indicate they don’t truly see you as an individual with your own needs and desires.

Seek support. If someone truly loves you, they will not only be by your side during the good times – they will help you achieve your goals and make progress in life. If they love you, they’ll cheer you on from the sidelines during a football match, stand beside you while you defend your thesis, and drive you to a job interview. They will be there whenever you need to discuss something that holds deep significance for you.

• If they truly love you, they will help you reach your goals or pursue your passions, even if those things don’t concern them directly.

• Never take someone's affection for granted.
• When someone is attracted to you, you’ll notice they look at you differently and smile a lot when you're around.
• Be cautious with their feelings; your actions can greatly impact them. Handle with care.
• Just because some people don’t talk to you, doesn’t mean they don’t like you; it could simply be due to shyness.
• Be careful not to confuse friendliness with flirting – you may end up getting hurt.
• If you suspect they like you, you probably don’t want to ask directly, “Do you like me?” This could make them feel awkward and they may never try to ask you out.
• Don’t create unnecessary distance. You may end up losing them.
• If your partner seems constantly attached to you or overly concerned about you, ask yourself if it’s because they genuinely care about you. Sometimes, they do this for your sake, not their own.

• It’s still possible they don’t like you. Not because you’ve done anything wrong, but perhaps because they don’t want to commit to such an important decision.
• They may try to sacrifice your relationship if you show disinterest, inconvenience, or if you already have a significant other, unless you consistently emphasize that you are no longer dating anyone else.