Buzz
If you've broken up but still have deep feelings for your ex, it can be incredibly painful. You might wonder if there's any chance to rekindle the relationship. To determine if your ex still has feelings for you, observe their behavior and how they interact with you. Pay attention to how often they reach out and through which channels. Another option is to talk to close friends or family to see if they think your ex still has romantic feelings for you.
Steps
Observe their behavior
Take note if your ex seems to always be nearby. If they still care, your ex may find every excuse to be around you. They might show up at your workplace, visit places you frequent, or attend events they know you'd be interested in. Keep track of how often you bump into them to determine if they’re trying to ‘accidentally’ meet you.
- If you both enjoy a particular café, they might just be there for the coffee. However, if they previously had no interest in art but now attend every art exhibition opening, it might be because they hope to see you there.
Check their social media posts. If you still follow your ex on social media, take a look at their recent posts to get a sense of their life. Does your ex seem happy or sad? Do they appear to have moved on, or are they still reflecting on the past?
- For example, a post like 'I miss those beautiful days spent with someone' or 'The past few days have been really tough' could suggest they're thinking about you. On the other hand, if they post pictures with someone new, it might mean they’ve decided to move on from the relationship.
Advice: If you often feel sad or jealous when viewing your ex’s social media, it’s best to unfollow them and skip their posts. Emotions are important, so don't put yourself through unnecessary pain.
Check if they like your posts or photos on social media. It's normal for your ex to occasionally like one of your posts, but if they frequently like your new posts or go back to like older ones, it could be a sign they still care about you.
- For example, your ex may not be trying to send a message by liking a picture of your new car, but if they like all your portraits, it could mean they're still in love with you.
- If your ex likes all your old photos, it’s likely they still have feelings for you.
Notice their reaction when you run into them. When you unexpectedly meet your ex, pay attention to whether their reaction is positive, neutral, or negative. Observe their facial expressions and body language to gauge their feelings.
- For example, if they smile widely and excitedly greet you with 'Hey, how are you?', it’s a sign they might still have feelings for you.
- If they simply wave and say 'Hey', it could mean they feel indifferent toward you and just want to stay friends.
- On the other hand, if they frown, ignore you, or cross their arms when they see you, it could be a sign they’ve firmly moved on.
Notice if your ex touches you frequently. When someone likes you, they often can’t resist the urge to touch you. In fact, this is a common flirting tactic! Pay attention to whether they often touch your arm, shoulder, back, or leg. This could be a sign that they still have feelings for you.
- You might also notice that your ex hugs you every time you meet or at the end of a conversation. This could mean they still care about you.
Advice: If you’re uncomfortable with certain gestures or touches, tell them not to do it. You could say, 'Please don’t touch me like that anymore. I would appreciate it if you respected my personal space.'
Consider if they’re willing to help you. If your ex still has feelings for you, they might be willing to do something for you. Share your struggles and see if they offer to help. You can also ask them for assistance with something you know they’re good at. If your ex agrees, it’s likely they still have affection for you.
- For example, you might ask your ex to help you with homework or assist in planning a party for a mutual friend.
- If your ex is naturally helpful and kind, they might still assist you, even if they don’t have romantic feelings anymore.
Notice if they’ve kept any of your belongings. Couples often return personal items when they break up, but if your ex is still holding onto something of yours, it could be a sign they haven’t moved on. Check if you’ve received all of your belongings back.
- For example, they might hold onto a shirt of yours because they miss your scent, or they could keep a DVD you both watched together many times.
- If it’s something valuable, it might just be that they’re holding onto it for its worth. For example, don’t let them keep your music player.
Find out if they’re dating or interested in someone new. Check their social media accounts to see if they’ve posted about a new romantic interest or shared pictures with a new person. You can also ask mutual friends if anyone has been seen with them. If your ex is in a new relationship, it’s likely they’re focused on their future and new love.
- Sometimes your ex might post pictures with someone to make you jealous, but if they have a real new relationship, it could mean they’ve moved on from you.
Consider the communication between you and your ex
Watch to see if your ex reaches out to you regularly or messages you often. If they still care about you, they will find reasons to contact you. Pay attention to whether they frequently call, message, or talk to you in person. Similarly, think back to whether your ex started a conversation with you after the last time you spoke. That could be a sign they still have feelings for you.
- For example, your ex might text you asking something they probably already know the answer to, like "Is the deadline for the assignment tomorrow?" "The party at Lan Chi's is still on for Saturday, right?" or "I hope everything’s okay for tomorrow’s volleyball game."
Advice: Some cases might have a more negative tone. For instance, your ex might send you angry messages about the breakup or something they saw on your social media. This could indicate that they are still thinking about you or feeling jealous.
Notice if your ex gets nostalgic about happy moments you shared together. If they start reminiscing about the joyful times you had together, it means they are reflecting on a time when things were good between you two. That could be a sign that they still like you. Pay attention when your ex starts talking about the past and see if they focus on the positive moments in your relationship.
- Your ex might say, "Do you remember when we went camping under the starry sky? That night was amazing." or "I remember the time we laughed so hard at the improv play. We really had some great moments together."
Think about whether they care when you're going through tough times. Naturally, someone who loves you will want to make sure you're okay when you're feeling down. Pay attention if they seem to always be there for you when you need a shoulder to lean on. Also, notice if they are willing to listen to you talk about your problems.
- For instance, if you post on social media about a family member going to the hospital, your ex might immediately text you saying, "Are you okay?"
- Keep in mind that this doesn’t necessarily mean they still have romantic feelings for you; they could simply care about you as a friend.
Notice if your ex asks for your advice. We often turn to those we trust for guidance when we’re in a tough spot. Think back to whether your ex often came to you for advice when they were facing challenges. If your ex continuously seeks your counsel, it might mean they still feel close to you, even potentially still have feelings for you.
- For example, they might open up about difficulties at work or school and then ask for your opinion on what they should do.
Be cautious if your ex starts discussing their past mistakes. When they mention their own errors, it could indicate that they regret how things went and wish they had acted differently. It's possible they are trying to find a way to mend the relationship. Pay close attention if your ex begins to talk about their wrongdoings, what they could have done differently, or how they have changed.
- They might say, 'I’ve realized I should have listened more,' or 'I deeply regret talking to that girl. I’ll never make that mistake again,' or 'Since we broke up, I've changed a lot. You helped me become a better person.'
Ask those close to you for their opinion.
Ask your friends if they think your ex still has feelings for you. Friends can offer a different perspective on your relationship with your ex, and they may notice things you haven't. Talk to them about what they think of the situation. Get several opinions to gauge whether your ex still loves you.
- You might ask, 'What do you think about my relationship with Duy?' or 'Do you think we could get back together?' or 'Do you think he’s really over it?' and 'Do you think she still has feelings for me?'
Find out if your ex is still in touch with your family. While your ex may have reasons to keep in contact with your family, this could also signal that they haven’t completely moved on. Ask your family if they still talk to your ex. If so, inquire if they mention you, as this could be a sign they still care about you.
- If you and your ex have children together, it’s normal for them to stay in contact with your family for the sake of the kids.
- If your ex was a friend of a family member before you two started dating, they might remain friends even after your breakup. Don't assume they still have feelings for you based on these relationships.
Talk to mutual friends to see if your ex often mentions you. If your ex still has feelings for you, they might find reasons to bring you up in conversation, and your friends will hear about it. Ask your mutual friends what your ex says.
- You could ask, 'Has Huy said anything about me?' or 'If we don’t have any mutual friends, you might try reaching out to your ex's circle. If you’re uncomfortable doing it yourself, you could ask one of your friends to talk to one of their friends.'
Warning: When discussing this, you’ll have to bring up your ex as a topic of conversation. This might make it clear to others that you still have feelings for them.
Advice
- Be cautious if you share children with your ex. Sometimes, children hope their parents will reunite, and you don’t want to create false hopes that could lead to disappointment. Be discreet until you’re certain about getting back together with your ex.
Warning
- Avoid physical intimacy with your ex unless you’re absolutely certain about getting back together. Don’t let them take advantage of your emotions to fulfill their own desires.
- Don’t rush back into a relationship with your ex. People often idealize things they no longer have. Don’t forget the reasons you broke up. If you find that you’re still facing the same issues as before, it’s better to keep your distance.
