How to Transform Your Life

To be content with your life, you need to change and adapt to those changes. The good news? No one else can make those changes for you except yourself. The first step is always the hardest, but with determination and the right mindset, you can overcome any challenge. If you're no longer satisfied with your current situation, what lies ahead for you can (and will) be completely different.

Identify the issue. No matter what's happening in your world, you're likely aware of the reason behind your feeling stuck. Is it your job? Friends? Relationships? Bad habits? Your worldview? These five factors, and others, may be contributing. Are you afraid to confront the real problem? You need to pinpoint what's wrong before fixing anything. Luckily, you already have all the answers!

• Your answer might be "everything." Every aspect of our lives is often connected to other aspects. Don't give up. After all, you create your own life. Whether you need to fix one area or all of them, you can do it. It's just a bit more work. Get yourself motivated, and everything is achievable.

Identify your mental barriers. Struggling with a miserable job isn't the problem; it's a symptom of the issue. Are you too afraid to apply for a new job or too lazy because your current routine feels comfortable and easy? Do you know the saying, "you are your own worst enemy"? This applies here. You may not have control over the cards you're dealt, but you are responsible for how you play them. What mindset has been holding you back from performing better?

• Self-awareness is the only way to truly change your mindset. Changing your mindset will lead to changes in your behavior. Changing your behavior will lead to different outcomes. If you want to solve a problem, you need to cut it off at the root. While this approach might seem lengthy and unnecessary, it's not (at least not in this case). Your mindset and mental barriers must be addressed before any real change can happen.

Question the thoughts and beliefs that make you unhappy. Ready for a surprise? You live in a world built by your own thoughts. Think about that for a moment. Lean back in your chair and let your mind wrap around that idea. Everything you see now is a product of your thoughts and mind. This truth will lead you to a few conclusions:

• Great. You have the power to live the way you want. If you want to believe you are the Queen of England, you can. If you want to believe you're happy, you can do that too. You are the only one with the power to change your own life.
• What's making you unhappy? Some of it may just be in your imagination. Yes, you have a boring job and there's no denying that. You might be in a dead-end relationship, unemployed, struggling with addiction, contemplating suicide, or uncertain about your direction. But how you perceive your situation can change everything and make things better. This might sound easy, but putting it into practice is not always simple. However, just recognizing the truth about life already gives you a winning advantage.

Bring your attitude to the game. To receive the good things, you need to have a mindset that expects success. Have you ever tried approaching that cute guy or girl, certain you'd fail? Exactly. Either you’ve never done it, or when you did, you were so nervous, fearful, and clearly self-conscious. Life isn’t much different. To achieve results, you need to expect a little bit. If you're going through everything with a negative attitude, you need to change that.

• Start practicing positive thinking. It might seem trivial and boring, so begin with just 15 minutes each day. When a negative thought pops up, take the time to reframe it. This habit won’t come naturally at first, but you’ll get better each day. With those 15 minutes, a thought like "My life is terrible" will turn into, "I’m not happy with my current life, and I will do something to change it." Keep this habit going until you no longer allow negative thoughts to take hold. It will be much easier to get out of bed and take action when your mind is ready and excited to begin.

Allow yourself to have power. Quick tip: happiness doesn’t come from eliminating your problems. There are countless poor children in the world who still laugh and play every day. There are people in situations similar to yours who consider themselves lucky just to be alive. So, give yourself the power to make yourself happy, to believe you deserve success. Allow yourself to take control of your life instead of pretending to be a helpless bystander. Grab the reins. You know how to do that.

• You're reading this page, so clearly, you're motivated to do something. That's all you need, and you already have it! You need to decide to do something. Once you make that decision, everything will change. It must change. It can't not change. Embrace this motivation and let it spread. Nourish it until it explodes. Long for power. Everything is about to unfold.

Find a passion you can dedicate yourself to. It's hard to change your life if you don’t know which direction you're heading, right? Having a passion, a few goals, or dreams to strive for will map out your path for you, instead of blindly searching for a needle in a haystack, uncertain whether what you need is even there. So, what is your passion? Where do you see yourself in six months? A year from now?

• Do you see yourself still living in your current city? Maybe with a new job? Starting a new project or business venture? Going back to school? Getting fit? There’s no wrong answer, and you might even have more than one!

Make an action plan. Once the trajectory becomes clearer, it's time to draft a basic action plan. Think of as many things as you can do to start walking down the path you envision for your future. You don't have to start today or even tomorrow, but you need to know where you're going and what you want to do.

• We’ve identified the ultimate goal (going back to school, losing weight, quitting smoking, etc.), so how do you achieve it? This section answers that question. What steps—small or large—can get the ball rolling? When the time comes and you're ready, you’ll know what awaits you in the future.

Remove obstacles. Whether it’s quitting smoking, breaking up with a lousy boyfriend, or moving out of a destructive roommate’s apartment, these are things you must do. They’re holding you back. They create negative thinking and turn minor setbacks into towering mountains. Overcoming them can be tough, but you know you can do it. Cutting ties with a toxic friend is hard. Living alone in a shabby studio apartment isn’t easy. Going through the withdrawal process is brutal. But these are things you can do, making you better for the future—and frankly, you know this to be true.

• Things like “quitting your job” might seem to belong in a different category. These days, you need money to survive. But honestly, you could quit your job and temporarily move in with someone if necessary. You could spend weekends job hunting. No one says this will be smooth sailing. Sometimes, things have to get worse before they get better. You have to stay determined.

Find a mentor. Why? Because we all need someone who has been through similar experiences—someone who can offer advice, provide a comforting shoulder, and give you warnings ahead of time. If you think no one in your life has ever hit rock bottom, you’re wrong. A part of the human experience is struggling through battles, and all you need to do is ask. The chances are, you’re unaware of all the rough patches that everyone you know has been through.

• However, chances are that as soon as you read the words 'find a mentor,' a few names popped into your head. This is usually a very natural process. If you need to ask someone to be your mentor, they probably aren’t the right fit. This role is for those who have been through it all and are ready to share their wisdom. You need to take advantage of their presence in your life by being open and asking for help when needed.

Be authentic. Don't take offense, we all do it. We say 'yes' to invitations we don't want to accept, smile and nod at people when we really want to scowl at them. We do what society expects of us and stop there, never questioning it further. Start asking questions. Truly pay attention and say 'no, thank you' when you don’t want to do something. Right now, be a little selfish and work on improving yourself. This isn’t an excuse to be rude—it’s a reason to do what you want.

• This won’t hurt anyone’s feelings if you’re simply being true to yourself. Saying 'No, thank you. I’m not in the mood' isn’t rude. People may ask more, but they don’t need an explanation if you don’t want to give one. You’re just being yourself. If they have a problem with that, it’s their issue.

Exercise, get enough sleep, and eat well. Your mental and physical states are connected—when your body is healthy, it’s much easier for your mind to be stable. What are the three principles for having a body ready to face the world? Exercise, get enough sleep, and eat healthy. If you don’t have time for these, make time for them. You owe that to yourself.

• With exercise, aim for a 'cycle' of 3 to 4 times a week. Whether it's going to a boxing class or taking a walk with your dog, every activity helps. Just get outside and keep the routine going. Wondering why this is so important? Studies show that exercise can actually make you happier.
• Get enough sleep—your ability to make decisions depends on it. Seriously. When both your body and mind are tired, you don’t have the energy to think about what’s actually good for you. Need an example? That chalupa you ate last night seemed like a great idea. Only when it affects your life does it truly matter. Aim for 7-9 hours of sleep each night. That sleep will affect the other 15-17 hours more than you realize.
• Your diet can also impact your mood. Eating plenty of whole grains, fruits, and vegetables, while sticking to lean meats and low-fat dairy, will give you the advantage you’ve been missing.

Push yourself. Small things can lead to the biggest changes. Getting out of bed in the morning instead of hitting the snooze button will leave you feeling energized, even though logically, it seems the opposite. Listen to energetic music, write small positive notes for yourself, reward yourself for progress—every action builds momentum and keeps you going.

• Change your alarm sound to something amazing. Like everyone else, you wake up each morning and all you can think is, '...No.' Starting your day with a negative attitude makes the rest of it harder. So, start your day as positively as possible. Change your alarm to something that lifts your spirits (whether it’s The Circle of Life or The Ride of the Valkyries, your choice). 'No' can become 'Awesome!' more easily than you think.

Build a daily routine. Many studies show that successful and happy people stick to their daily routines. This routine isn’t about lying in bed all day and devouring buckets of fried chicken, obviously. But more importantly, it allows them to conserve energy. When you have a daily routine, the automatic mode helps you focus your mind, reducing and eliminating problems that come up. You can only make so many decisions in a day, and this routine lets you save energy for what really matters.

• Your routine should include the three things mentioned above (eating well, exercising, and sleeping properly), plus anything that makes you happy. Work a little, play a little, and take some time to improve yourself in whatever way you can (meditation/job hunting/going back to school, etc.).

Make your most important decisions in the morning. Why? Because you're likely not emotionally or physically exhausted at that time. Decision fatigue is real, like when you make a poor choice about that late-night chalupa. By evening, you’ve done so much during the day that you abandon caution and let your present self make bad decisions for your future self. Don’t do that!

• So, when something important arises, wait until after you’ve woken up. You’ll need all the energy possible to make the best decisions. This saying exists for a reason!

Perform random acts of kindness. One of the easiest ways to live a great life is to focus on others. It’s easy for you and it will make you feel good, plus you’re turning the world into a better place. In the moment, you’ll forget your own problems and care about someone else’s. What’s not to love?

• Helping others brings a unique sense of comfort. By doing so, you break free from the usual rut of not having enough energy for yourself. So whether it’s donating to a thrift store or volunteering at a local shelter, try it all. It’s also good karma for your own safety!

Put yourself into a routine. No one can go from 0 to 60 km in seconds, and you shouldn’t expect that from yourself either. We all need support and the necessary nudge to go in the right direction. No Olympic athlete starts a race sitting down, right? Whatever you need to do, get started.

• So sign up for that class. Find a therapist. Be serious about your job search. Accept online dating. Join a support group. Call your mom and make up with her. Go to the gym you pass every day on your way home from work. The first step is always the hardest, and things will get easier from there.

Do what you’ve always wanted to do. Now that you have the right mindset and a healthy body, it’s time to do what you’ve always wanted to do. The things you’ve always been afraid to do. You must be brave. Step by step, no matter how long the path to change may be.

• The class you signed up for? Go to it. The therapist? Book an appointment. Submit that job application. Go on that date. Attend meetups. Organize a family lunch. Get on that treadmill. The surprise you’ll feel about yourself and what you’re capable of will be so amazing that you won’t be able to stop.

Perform regular evaluations. Think of this as a mental diet. Ineffective habits need to be eliminated, so evaluating your habits is essential. Do you feel better? Are things slowly but surely falling into place? Can you improve your current efforts? Just like increasing the intensity of your workouts after making progress, you also need to challenge your mind.

• What works now may not be enough for you in the coming weeks. Once you understand your initial efforts, ramp them up and keep increasing. There’s very little in life that you can abruptly abandon, and this isn’t one of those things.
• Similarly, what you think will be beneficial may turn out to have no effect at all. If that's the case, have a conversation with your mentor and ask for advice. Is this something you need to keep pursuing, should you abandon it completely, or is there another strategy you can implement?

Never accept defeat. You’re in a very precarious position: one wrong step and it’s easy to slip back into old habits. So right now, focus on pushing yourself forward. Focus on positive thinking. Focus on your breath. Focus on living true to yourself. If you refuse to accept giving up, guess what? You won’t give up.

• Obstacles will appear. They will show up unexpectedly, without warning, and sometimes they can’t be changed. Car troubles, relationship struggles, worsening addictions. It’s important to be prepared for this, so you can’t blame yourself. These things happen to everyone—they’re part of life. You must face them.