Buzz
When people first enter a romantic relationship, they often experience intense joy and happiness. However, the feelings during the first few months are typically infatuation, not true love. If you find yourself deeply enchanted or obsessed with your partner, there's no need to worry! There are ways to deepen these initial feelings and eventually transform them into true love.
Steps
Accept your partner, including their flaws.
You cannot change your partner, and that's okay. True love means loving someone despite knowing that they're not perfect, just like you. Don't try to change them; love them for who they are right now.
- If you find it hard to love their flaws, remind yourself that you have flaws too.
Talk about the future with your partner.
Discuss the things you both desire in life and see if they align with each other. You can talk about topics like marriage, children, where you want to live, and your future careers. These conversations will help ground your relationship in reality rather than in the fantasies where people often become infatuated with each other.
- Your future goals don't have to align perfectly, but they should at least be similar. For example, if you want to live abroad for a year and your partner enjoys traveling, you could compromise and plan a 6-month trip together.
Discuss everything with each other.
Healthy relationships are often based on open communication. If any issues arise, it's important to bring them up immediately so both of you can address them together. Don't keep quiet or hope the problem will just disappear, as that approach rarely works.
- You can bring up a topic by saying something like, 'Hey, can we talk for a minute? There's something I want to discuss with you.'
Strengthen your bond with shared interests.
What activities do you and your partner enjoy doing together? Watching TV at home is fine, but what's important is finding a few activities that both of you enjoy. If you're not sure what to try right away, feel free to explore different activities until you find something you both like.
- For instance, if both of you enjoy outdoor activities, you could try hiking together once a week to strengthen your bond.
- If you don't share any common hobbies, consider joining a club or group together to discover a new interest, like cycling or playing board games.
Get to know your partner on a deeper level.
Ask them about their hopes, dreams, and goals. Dive deeper into your partner's inner personality instead of just focusing on the surface. The more you understand each other, the more likely it is that you'll truly love them. You can ask questions like:
- 'Who are you closest to in your family?'
- 'What's your favorite childhood memory?'
- 'How do you imagine your life in 10 years?'
- 'What is your biggest goal in life?'
Don't rush into making big decisions.
Marriage, having children, and moving in together are not decisions to rush into. Take your time with these important choices until you're sure about your feelings. You can talk about your future together, but there's no need to make hasty decisions now.
- If you've already made an important decision with your partner, that's okay. Just avoid making any more decisions until the initial infatuation turns into real love.
Let your family and friends know about your partner.
Tell your close ones about your partner and bring them into your life. Let those closest to you know that you're in a relationship with someone wonderful. Share pictures and talk about your partner so everyone can celebrate with you.
- When the time feels right, you can introduce your partner to your friends and family.
Become a part of their life.
Meet your partner’s friends and go out together. Try to integrate into your partner’s life rather than living separate lives. The more grounded your relationship is in real-life experiences, the more likely you are to find happiness together.
- For example, you can join your partner and their friends for social outings to meet the people they care about.
- You could also surprise them by bringing coffee to their office, so you can visit their workplace.
Make your relationship official.
Make the relationship official to make it feel real. Delete dating apps and mark 'in a relationship' on social media. By confirming the status of your relationship, you're more likely to have real love with this person.
- If you're unsure about the relationship, don’t hesitate to talk about it and come to an agreement as soon as possible to avoid emotional hurt later on.
Keep your own hopes, dreams, and goals intact.
Don’t give up on your desires just because of a new partner. If your goals don't align with each other, perhaps you're not the best match. Continue to pursue your own dreams in life while also supporting your partner's goals.
- For example, if you want to settle down and start a family, but your partner wants to travel the world, you might need to discuss whether a compromise is possible.
- If you abandon your own dreams for your partner, you might end up resenting them later on.
Maintain your friendships.
It’s easy to forget your friends when you're caught up in a new romance. Make an effort to regularly call or text your friends and plan hangouts with them. While we often spend a lot of time with our partners, everyone needs some personal time to nurture their friendships.
- If you’re going out with a group of friends, invite your partner along! Your friends will likely be happy to meet your significant other.
Discuss the compatibility between you and your partner.
Does your partner bring out the best qualities in you? Conversely, do you help your partner showcase their strengths? If your relationship is filled with constant disagreements or a lack of harmony, then the initial infatuation between the two of you might never evolve into true love. Take a step back and evaluate your relationship objectively, and pay attention to any warning signs that you might have overlooked at the beginning.
- Infatuation can often blind people to the negative traits of their partner. Once the initial passion fades, you may notice things you hadn’t seen before.
- You may come to realize that you and your partner are not meant to be together, and that’s okay. If so, have an open conversation with them and consider ending the relationship.
Advice
- Family and friends may offer valuable outside perspectives if you're unsure whether you're truly in love or simply infatuated with someone.
