How to Turn Your Life Around After Experiencing Depression

Depression has the power to completely change the way you view life. You might lose relationships, jobs, direction, hobbies, health, dreams, goals, and confidence. After going through a depressive phase, you can rebuild your life by setting achievable goals, enhancing positive social relationships, maintaining physical health, and adopting a positive mindset.

Identify Your Life Priorities. Setting goals is a crucial factor in lowering the risk of future depression. To create meaningful goals for yourself, the first thing you may want to do is identify your values or priorities. Your deepest desires will guide you to what can bring you a fulfilling life.

• Make a list of the things that matter most to you, such as family, friends, career, love, finances, and having a home.
• Reflect on past experiences that brought you joy and try to bring those into your current life. Were there moments that you wished would never end? Those are the moments to focus on. Perhaps it's the times spent with your partner, children, close friends, or the activities that brought you happiness like camping, writing, painting, or music.

Consider career opportunities. The job you choose can have a significant impact on your overall happiness. Ultimately, you'll spend 40 hours a week or more focused on your career.

• If your current job isn't fulfilling, try another one. It's all valuable experience and can help you grow.
• Are you thinking about changing jobs soon? Consider the industries where you have the skills, where you're compensated well, and where the work excites you.
• Be patient. If you haven't found a job yet, think about activities that can increase your chances. Volunteering, taking short courses, or improving your skills can greatly boost your self-esteem and serve as a plus on your resume.

Recognize positive activities to set as goals. After recovering from a period of depression, breaking free from passive habits and adjusting to new changes in life can be difficult. However, staying active and busy can help reduce the likelihood of depressive symptoms returning.

• Focus on tasks and responsibilities that need attention. For instance, you could wash the car, prepare a meal, mow the lawn, pay bills, go shopping, clean the house, research something, take care of pets, or do gardening. The list can go on. Completing these small tasks will gradually make you feel more capable, and improve both your self-esteem and confidence.
• Think about things that make you proud and satisfied with yourself. Create a list of activities and do one each day. Examples of positive activities to boost self-esteem include: sending a postcard, playing with your child, donating to charity, volunteering, participating in causes for good, getting a haircut, planting a tree, running errands for an elderly neighbor, or talking with a friend in need. Every time you accomplish something, praise yourself for doing well.

Make a comprehensive list of goals to focus on. Once you've identified your priorities and specific activities you want to do more of, you can list these goals, whether large or small.

• Remember, each goal must be SMART. SMART stands for Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, and Time-limited. An example of a SMART goal is to exercise by running for one hour, three times a week for the next month.
• You can create a list of goals or activities with 15 items. Rank them from the simplest to the most difficult. Start by completing the easiest goal and gradually work towards the more challenging ones. A small goal could be walking the dog, while a larger goal could be advancing in your career or securing a new job.
• Celebrate every small step forward. Reward yourself throughout the process with each milestone when working towards a specific goal. Treat yourself to a spa day, a massage, a special dinner, or something you enjoy (a safe and healthy pleasure that doesn't involve stimulants or alcohol).

Assess your progress and adjust according to the situation. Goals should always be moving forward. Once you accomplish one goal, start setting new and higher ones. If a goal doesn't seem to be effective, or if you change your mind, switch to a goal that you believe will be more useful.

• Track your daily activities and goals in a planner. This can help you stay organized and remember important goals and tasks.
• Once you've achieved one goal, set a new one! For example, if your initial goal was to lose 5 kg, and now you want to lose a bit more, focus on that. Or, if you wanted to exercise more but found the gym routine boring, aim to go hiking or jogging outdoors instead.
• Try to think positively, even if you experience failure. Tell yourself affirmations like, “I may have failed, but I will learn from this and do better next time. I know I can do it!” Write this mantra down and repeat it every day if it helps you.

Seek professional assistance. As you recover from depression, it's crucial to seek expert help to ensure that feelings of sadness don't resurface or worsen. If you've already been undergoing treatment, it's essential to continue with your treatment plan.

• If you have a treating doctor, discuss your new goals with them. Remember to stick to your treatment plan and attend appointments regularly.
• If you haven't seen a doctor for depression treatment, consider finding one. Even if you're not currently showing depressive symptoms, a therapist or psychologist can help reduce the risk of depression worsening by using interventions like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) to help reframe your thoughts and maintain your happiness.
• Keep seeing your psychiatrist and taking your prescribed medication.
• Talk to your doctor about your overall health, diet, and exercise routine.

Seek help if addiction is affecting your life. Addiction can exacerbate depression symptoms, making recovery more challenging. Whether it's substance abuse, overeating, gambling, self-harm, sex addiction, or eating disorders, professional help is available. Treating both depression and addiction simultaneously may be necessary as these conditions are often closely linked.

• One way to seek help is by talking to your doctor, therapist, or psychiatrist. They can provide treatments for substance dependence. Some therapists specialize in addiction treatment, offering either outpatient or inpatient care (rehab).
• You can also seek support by joining 12-step groups like Alcoholics Anonymous (A.A) or Narcotics Anonymous (N.A).
• Recovery from addiction takes time, but the results are worth it, supporting your overall health and alleviating depression.

Reconnect. During depression, people often lose contact with close friends, family members, and other important relationships. However, social support plays a vital role in maintaining a depression-free lifestyle, reducing the risk of relapse, and helping you overcome life’s challenges.

• Send an email, text, postcard, or letter to check in on friends. Focus on the positive aspects of your life and ask about theirs.
• Call a friend and invite them for lunch or coffee.

Join a support group. Social support, particularly from others who understand your experience, can be incredibly helpful for your recovery from depression and for maintaining a healthy perspective on life.

Make new friends. After depression, you might feel strong enough to cultivate new relationships, especially if you’ve had to let go of toxic or unhelpful connections. By engaging in activities you enjoy, you can meet people with similar interests and personalities.

• Join a church or temple, a club, a sports team, a community college, local classes, or a charity group, etc.
• Try Meetup.com, a website for connecting with like-minded individuals. Examples include singles groups, walking clubs, theater groups, and hiking enthusiasts.
• Can’t find a group or club that suits you? Start your own! Try creating a book club. Spread the word through friends and acquaintances, post flyers at libraries, and invite people to bring in small signs to share. Or you can start a fitness club, meeting in the park, hiring a trainer, and sharing costs.
• Every time you’re invited to join a group, try to say yes. The more you agree, the more invites you’ll get. Also, when friends invite you to do something, the next week, take the initiative to invite them back. This will keep things balanced, and both parties will feel valued.

Address Health Issues. Sometimes, depression can be linked to underlying health conditions, including hyperthyroidism, Parkinson's disease, or Huntington's disease. Depression can also be a side effect of certain medications. Even if your depression isn't caused by a health issue, your overall well-being can still influence your mood, especially when you feel weak or experience negative thoughts. It's challenging to stay positive when you're in pain or unwell.

• Make regular doctor visits if you have chronic health issues.
• If you notice an increase in depression coinciding with the use of a new medication or treatment, you should talk to your doctor.
• Finish the medication prescribed by your doctor. It may take some time to find the right medication for you. Continue taking the prescribed medication to maintain health, even after you start feeling better.

Focus on Daily Activities. Depression can make it hard to stick to everyday responsibilities like showering and general self-care (e.g., washing your face or brushing your teeth). Once you overcome depression, you can return to your regular routine. Taking care of yourself can help you feel better about yourself and reduce the risk of relapse. For instance, when you wear pajamas all day, you might not feel motivated to leave the house or do anything productive. But if you take the time to enjoy a shower, bathe, take care of your hair and makeup, and pick clothes you like, you might feel much stronger and more capable of handling the day.

• Make a list of things you can do to care for yourself. This list could include: laundry, buying new clothes, washing your hair, styling it.

Exercise. Physical activity can help prevent and alleviate depression symptoms. While it can be tough to lace up your sneakers and tie the laces, once you push through the effort, you could feel up to ten times better thanks to endorphins released in your brain.

• Start with a 10-minute walk and gradually increase to 20 minutes. Regular exercise can bring surprisingly positive results.
• If you're struggling to find motivation to exercise, try telling yourself, 'I will feel better once I finish.' Or promise to do 5 to 10 minutes of cycling or treadmill walking. Sometimes, you just need to push through the initial challenge of getting up and moving; after 10 minutes, you may feel like going another 10 minutes.
• Once you've done something more challenging, you'll feel the endorphins bring a 'rush' after running, working out, or performing other exercises.

Regulate Emotions Positively. Research suggests that individuals with a history of depression are more likely to use emotion regulation strategies that worsen their depression. This type of emotion regulation involves using negative coping mechanisms (such as alcohol abuse) that not only fail to alleviate depression but may actually increase its severity.

• Avoid rumination. When you ruminate, you endlessly replay a negative situation in your mind. Although you might intend to reflect on it to understand what went wrong, this often just intensifies negative emotions and doesn’t help you gain deeper insight. Instead, ask yourself: 'Can I change anything?' Make a list of small, manageable goals for dealing with tasks within your control. Going for a walk or exercising can also help break the cycle of negative thoughts.

Identify and Challenge Negative Thoughts. Everyone experiences negative thoughts from time to time. However, the more you focus on them, the more likely you are to feel down. This is because our thoughts heavily influence how we feel. Rather than accepting these negative thoughts as truth, you can learn to combat them and cultivate a habit of thinking positively.

• Consider these thoughts as mere hypotheses or fleeting ideas, not facts. If you have thoughts like, 'This situation is terrible. I hate it,' question your perception of the situation. This is known as cognitive reframing. Is it really that bad? Is it truly awful, or can you handle it? Can you adjust your thinking or find a way to improve it? Remind yourself, 'It’s not so bad. The situation isn’t ideal, but I can manage it.'

Engage in Positive Self-Talk. People with depression often fall into the habit of self-hatred or saying negative things about themselves, such as, 'I’m no good. I’m a failure. I’m so stupid.' If you experience similar thoughts, negative emotions can easily follow. You can counteract this negative thinking with positive affirmations.

• An example of a positive affirmation is, 'I’m doing my best, and that’s enough for me. I don’t need to be perfect according to anyone else’s standards.'

Engage in Activities That Bring Joy. Leisure and enjoyment are key elements in fostering happiness. A positive attitude can enhance your ability to cope with life’s challenges and stressors.

• Make a list of enjoyable activities and schedule them each day. For instance, you might plan to watch a movie, read a book, eat your favorite meal, take a walk, relax in a bubble bath, visit a library or museum, browse through stores, buy a fresh bouquet, pamper yourself with a beauty treatment, get a new hairstyle, or go out for dinner.

Focus on the Positive. Sometimes, those with a history of depression find it difficult to focus on the positive aspects of life. However, the ability to concentrate on positive thoughts and activities can boost positive emotions and ease feelings of sadness.

• One way to focus on the positive is to keep a journal of joyful events, along with photos and personal notes. It might just be a few lines about something good that happened that day, or a photo of something interesting or adorable.
• Focusing on the positive also involves choosing activities that can elevate your optimistic mood. For example, pick content that is appropriate to your mood; if you’re feeling down, avoid watching news or sad movies. These won’t help those who tend to dwell on life’s negatives and may just add fuel to the fire. Instead, turn off the news and read an uplifting book, or flip to the sports or humor section of the newspaper.

• If you are currently having thoughts of harming yourself, please call 911 or the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 (if you're in the USA). In Vietnam, you can contact the helpline at 1800 1567 for support and counseling.