Buzz
Learning how to wait for what you want in life can be challenging. You may not always know whether your desires will come true soon or if it will take a long time. Life is unpredictable, and it can be difficult to live with uncertainty when someone tells you that things will happen if you act on them. However, things rarely unfold that easily. What you want isn’t always clear, the future is often beyond our control, and time doesn’t always give us what we expect. Nevertheless, having clear goals, patience, and determination can help you make the best use of your time in achieving your desires.
Steps
Understand What You Want and How to Achieve It
Figure out what you truly want. This could be anything. Whether you're aiming for a job, seeking love or friendships, planning the trip of a lifetime, or simply purchasing a new camera, you must be sure about exactly what you want and why.
- While this might sound simple, it’s often the most difficult task. You may be unclear about your goals or torn between two options. Be honest with yourself and figure out what you really like or what can help you become the person you wish to be.
- If you're torn between a few options, consider the strengths and weaknesses of each and make a decision based on this evaluation. Writing down the pros and cons can guide you throughout the process.
- Focus on the reasons behind your desires, consider alternatives, compare them, and determine if your initial wish aligns best with your broader goals. For example, if you're aiming for a professional photography career and desire a specific camera, compare other models in the same category and assess whether your initial choice is the best fit to help you reach your ultimate goal: becoming a professional photographer.
Adopting the S.M.A.R.T. mindset. This is a popular strategy in project management, and it is also effective in personal development. It helps you stay focused, think realistically, and eliminate unrealistic dreams. S.M.A.R.T. is an acronym for five essential criteria that can help you set clear goals. What you want should be:
- Specific. Avoid vague goals. Ask yourself what you truly want, why, who can help you, and how you will achieve it.
- Measurable. Pursuing goals that can be evaluated will help you stay focused and committed. For instance, if you want a car, research prices, estimate how much money you’ll need, and think about where you’ll park it.
- Achievable. Set realistic goals. Dreaming of becoming a millionaire or marrying a princess may not be feasible. Instead, focus on goals that are within your reach.
- Relevant. Ask yourself if what you want will make a difference compared to those around you. If your success is important to others, they will support you in achieving it.
- Time-bound. Estimate how long it will take you to reach your goal and set smaller milestones along the way. For example, if you want to be an actor, you might need two years to prepare for auditions, three years to land a role, and five years to achieve your final goal before moving on to something else.
Striving to achieve what you want. Consider all the feasible methods to reach your goal, choose the most effective one for you, and follow through. Keep in mind that there are numerous ways to reach your ultimate goal: what works for others may not work for you, and vice versa.
- For example, if you aim to become a journalist, research which schools can best prepare you for this career and create a cost-benefit analysis. Consider part-time jobs and volunteer positions that can provide you with relevant experience. Network with professionals in the field and ask for advice.
Do not cheat. Impatience might lead you to believe that the reason you haven't achieved something is because you're not clever or shrewd enough. However, remember that honesty will eventually bring you better outcomes. Cheats might get what they want faster, but they risk losing it just as quickly.
- For instance, if you manage to get a date by exaggerating your talents and accomplishments or pretending to be someone else, eventually, if you continue the relationship, the truth will come out.
Learn the art of waiting.
Learn to work with time. When waiting exceeds your patience, time can feel like an enemy. However, time is the key factor that makes waiting worthwhile: manage your time wisely and invest it in activities that help you achieve your goals.
- Although we cannot control the passage of time, we can organize it. Following schedules, creating short-term plans, and setting deadlines will help you manage time efficiently.
- Don't spend all your time focusing on achieving your goal. Smart time management also involves taking breaks. If you don't allow yourself time to rest, you might burn out or lose motivation without understanding why.
Patience. Patience is an art that demands skill and practice. It means understanding that time is unpredictable, and we cannot always get what we want when we want it. It also involves accepting that some things may change while others remain fixed.
- Lack of patience stems from feelings of helplessness, the inability to alter a situation. Recognizing that there are things you can do to take control, and that your life’s direction is influenced by your own choices, helps you approach life with greater agency. This active mindset can help you feel more in control.
- For instance, when pursuing a journalism job, you may submit hundreds of applications with little success. However, focus on other activities that can bring you closer to your goal, like writing for your school magazine as a volunteer or attending conferences. This can transform waiting into proactive time, making the process more rewarding.
- Setting aside time each week for exercise and relaxation can help alleviate stress and enhance patience.
Recognize that staying still sometimes is perfectly fine. There are benefits to not always making progress. Taking time to rest instead of acting is normal. Recharging is essential to regain momentum.
- Just as we can't predict how to achieve what we want, periods of inactivity don't always go according to plan. If you suddenly find yourself with free time, don't see it as wasted or feel guilty. You can use this time wisely by pursuing what you truly enjoy, savoring the extra time for yourself.
Be grateful for what you have. You may think that if you haven’t achieved your desires, your life is unstable. Reflecting on past successes can help you reassess everything and realize that life's journey is unpredictable. What you have now is undoubtedly a result of your patience and enduring willpower.
- Carrying a gratitude journal where you list things you are thankful for can serve as a constant reminder of your blessings.
Keep yourself busy. Make sure you always have something to look forward to. Whether it’s tidying up or going out for an evening with friends, distraction can make waiting more pleasant. Focusing entirely on your goal won’t help you achieve it; it will deplete your energy and harm your health.
- It’s important to remember that distraction is not obsession. Spending half a day every day cleaning the floors to forget about not having the job you desire will also drain your energy and health.
Always stay optimistic. A positive outlook on life helps to cultivate patience. Optimism is truly a powerful source of energy: enthusiasm and proactivity will also bring you closer to your desires faster.
- Even reminiscing about past successes and cherishing what you currently have is a great way to maintain a positive view of waiting.
Reevaluate Your Desires
Understand why things didn’t go as planned and adjust. Not achieving your desires can be a triggering factor, helping you realize that your goals might be attainable but your methods need to change. Be honest with yourself and objectively assess whether there’s something you can do that you haven’t yet completed.
- Reflecting on the entire process and revisiting the steps from the beginning can help you identify where you went wrong, and figure out the alternative approach you should have taken.
Explore alternative ways to achieve your goals. Be open to reconsidering your strategy and changing your actions. Sometimes, you become so fixated on one method of achieving your goals that you fail to see that your approach isn’t yielding positive results. Being flexible and objective will help you reach your goals faster. Remember that the final objective is what truly matters, not the process itself.
- For example, if spending 16 hours a day sending job applications hasn’t helped you secure a job, there may be other more effective ways to spend your time, like building relationships.
Think about why you truly want to achieve your desires. After waiting for a long time, it’s important to reflect on why you wanted that goal in the first place. Sometimes, the pursuit of something so difficult causes you to lose sight of your broader goals due to the energy you’ve poured into it.
- Ask yourself if what you desire has become a matter of principle. If so, you should reassess your ambitions and focus on the reasons behind them, rather than the end result.
Consider alternative goals. The fact that you haven’t achieved your desire may be a sign that it’s beyond your reach. While it’s difficult to reassess your aspirations, expecting something you’ll never have only leads to discouragement and disappointment.
- This doesn’t mean you should change your entire life. For example, even if you can’t land your dream job, there are still many other roles that fit your abilities and are deserving of your efforts.
Realize that happiness is not the same as achieving your desires. You might think of happiness as something measurable, like wealth or fame: the more money you have, the wealthier you are, the more people will know you, and the more famous you'll become. However, happiness is a matter of attitude, not quantity or possessions. Instead, unhappiness and dissatisfaction are like cycles: no matter how much you feel unhappy or unsatisfied, it will never be enough.
- Reflect on what has truly made you happy. Was happiness something that arrived when you achieved what you wanted? Or is happiness a result of how you approach what you already have? Can happiness be clearly defined, or is it a collection of various methods?
Advice
- Remember that you'll never know what will happen next. Perhaps tomorrow you'll go to work and get the promotion you’ve been hoping for. Whether or not you believe in fate, the truth is that life is unpredictable. Accepting that you can't control certain events will help you avoid unnecessary stress and never lose hope.
Warning
- Consider all aspects of what you desire. If you're after fame, be ready to give up your privacy, face criticism from others, and understand that you could lose it in an instant.
