Buzz
If you’ve had a crush on a woman and she’s now single due to a recent divorce, you might be wondering how to capture her attention. While some people may be hesitant to approach someone who has gone through a divorce, there are actually many benefits to pursuing a relationship with her! Divorced women have been through challenging times, but they often come out stronger, more responsible, and more emotionally balanced than someone who hasn’t been married. They’re also likely to be open to new experiences and looking for fun after their tough journey, ensuring that your relationship will never lack excitement! If you’re hoping to win the heart of a woman who’s just left a marriage, you’re in luck. Here’s a guide to the best strategies for connecting with the woman of your dreams after her divorce.
Steps
Start by taking it slow and building a friendship.
She’s likely going through a tough period, so don’t rush things. Understanding how she feels about her divorce should guide your approach. If she seems particularly upset, has confided in you about her struggles, or you sense she’s under a lot of pressure, offer your support and focus on building a genuine friendship. Pushing for a relationship too soon may come across as insensitive, and she might reject you if she’s not yet ready for something new.
- If she wants to talk about her divorce, let her. Even if it’s difficult to hear her discuss another partner, your role is to be there for her.
- Divorce takes a lot of time and energy. If you try to make a move while she’s still processing everything, she may turn you down simply because she’s not in a place for a relationship.
Be a pillar of support in her life.
Divorce is tough, so make things easier for her by being there when she needs you. If she wants to spend time with her children over the weekend, respect that and let her know you understand. If she’s feeling down and needs a shoulder to cry on, be that for her. Divorce is incredibly challenging, and if you want her to see you in a loving, positive light, being supportive is key.
- This applies whether or not you’ve been on a date together yet. Just show up as a caring, helpful person. She’ll appreciate the gesture, and you’ll avoid the risk of getting a cold response.
- Offer your help by asking, “Hey, I know you’re going through a tough time and I’ve been thinking about you. Is there anything I can do for you?”
Be someone fun to spend time with.
She’s dealing with a lot of serious issues, so be the bright spot in her day. If you’re planning something fun, invite her along. She might be looking for a distraction from the divorce, and offering her that escape can make you stand out. For instance, you could say, “Hey, want to join me and my friends at the carnival this weekend?” Even if she says no, she’ll still appreciate your thoughtfulness.
- Keep it casual and laid-back. If she turns down your invitation, simply reply with “No problem!” and move on. Being too insistent could make her feel pressured.
Always look and smell your best.
Regardless of whether she’s divorced, women appreciate a partner who takes care of their appearance. Divorced women are less likely to see you as a potential match if you don’t put effort into your appearance, as it may come across as immature. They’ll be more attracted to someone who seems responsible and well put together, so make sure you’re leaving a great first impression! It’s fine to have a relaxed style, but make sure you look your best in terms of your clothing, hair, and hygiene.
- Women are drawn to partners who smell good. If you’re not used to wearing cologne or perfume, now might be the time to start!
- Don’t try to be someone you’re not or dress in a completely new style—divorced women are perceptive enough to notice a facade. Just ensure your clothes are clean, fit well, and that you’re not hanging out in sweatpants or flip flops.
Boost your confidence with a quick mantra.
The more self-assured you seem, the more likely she’ll be interested in you. If you’re feeling a little nervous about approaching her, give your self-esteem a boost. In the moment, try repeating a positive phrase to yourself, either out loud or mentally. This simple act can give you a surge of positive energy!
- Try affirmations like, “I am worthy. I am capable,” or “Everything will be fine. I’ve got this.”
- Alternatively, you can try striking a power pose in front of a mirror to give your confidence a quick lift. It may seem silly, but it’s scientifically backed to work!
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Start QuizExplore More QuizzesFlirt with subtlety.
Give her a genuine compliment and smile. If you're already on good terms, you might try casually brushing past her or holding a hug for a few extra moments to gauge her reaction. A recently divorced woman isn’t likely to entertain anyone who doesn’t take her seriously, so avoid cheesy pickup lines and overused phrases.
- Stay away from overly sexual or romantic compliments. A woman who's recently gone through a divorce may not be open to casual encounters, and she’ll appreciate someone who recognizes that and respects her emotional space.
Engage in deeper, meaningful conversations.
Nothing kills attraction faster than a dull conversation. To attract her, you’ll need to connect on a more profound level. Ask her about her dreams, passions, and values. If the discussion leads to philosophical or spiritual topics, go with the flow. People are more attracted to those who spark their happiness by having genuine, enriching conversations.
- You could start by asking intriguing questions like, “If you were stranded on a deserted island, what five items would you take with you?” or “If you could be reincarnated as an animal, which one would you choose?” These are great conversation starters.
Stay true to yourself and be genuine.
She can easily see through any façade, so avoid playing games. Skip the typical pickup lines, tricks, and exaggerated compliments. A divorced woman has experienced love and loss and can spot dishonesty from a mile away. If she asks if you like her, don’t act indifferent. If she says she’s not interested in dating right now, take her at her word.
- If you’re not looking for something serious, be upfront about it. If you’re seeking a lasting relationship, be honest about that, too.
- As long as you are sincere, transparent, and authentic, you won’t raise any red flags.
Be sure you're committed if she has children.
If she has kids, proceed with caution and take your time. It’s important not to give the impression that you’re serious if you're not ready for a committed relationship, especially when there are children involved. Introducing a new partner to her kids, only to disappear later, can be harmful. Make sure you’re ready for something more long-term.
- If you're just looking for a casual fling, make that clear and avoid getting involved with her children.
- Let her bring up her kids in the context of your relationship. If you begin talking about spending time with her kids while she views this as a temporary fling, it may make her uncomfortable.
Ask her out directly when you sense she’s ready.
If she appears open and available, go ahead and make your move! Eventually, she will shift from grieving her marriage to embracing her new sense of freedom. This is your chance to ask her out. Approach her casually, but honestly, and let her know that you’re interested.
- You might say something like, “Sorry if I’m being too forward, but I think you’re amazing and would love to take you out sometime.”
- For a more laid-back invitation, you could say, “Hey, want to grab a drink this weekend? Just the two of us, let’s enjoy a night out.”
- Since divorce can be a sobering process, if she’s already clear on what she wants, she may appreciate your directness. Even if she declines or says it’s “not the right time,” she won’t hold it against you and might reconsider later on.
Treat her the same way you would any other partner.
If you do get close to her, treat her as you would anyone else. After a divorce, many women feel like they’re damaged goods, and if she has children, she may worry about how you’ll handle her situation. Don’t make a big deal about it. Show her that you don’t mind any “baggage” by treating her like a normal person.
- She’s likely going through a range of emotions after her divorce, so providing stability and normalcy will be greatly appreciated.
- If you ask her out and she replies, “I’d love to, but I have kids and I’m going through a divorce, and…” just respond with, “No problem at all. I don’t mind any of that. I’d still like to take you out. If you’re too busy, though, I completely understand.”
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If she’s newly divorced, wait at least three months before asking her out. Divorce is often a difficult and time-consuming process, and while she might be eager to start dating again, you’ll need to be patient and give her time.
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Always be truthful. Trust is fragile, and the quickest way to lose your progress with her is by being dishonest.
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Emotionally, a divorce can be more painful than the death of a family member. It’s an incredibly difficult experience, and it’s important to recognize the emotional toll it can take on someone.
Things to be cautious about
- It’s perfectly normal to find divorcees attractive. There are several reasons why they make great romantic partners (they have experience, they understand commitment, and someone else deemed them worthy of marriage). Just ensure that you're not objectifying her or treating her as merely a conquest.
- If you're unsure about your readiness for something serious but she is, it's important to have an honest conversation about it before things escalate. She may be open to a casual fling after a challenging divorce, but assuming that and finding out it’s not what she wants could lead to hurt feelings and complications.
