Buzz
Attracting a guy may sometimes feel like an impossible challenge. However, it doesn’t need to be so difficult! With the right knowledge, capturing the guy you want is simpler than you think. Keep reading to find out how you can expand your options and become an expert in the dating scene.
Steps
Keep your confidence high.
Be strong and independent, but without arrogance. Guys admire someone who can live their own life without relying on them, yet they also value it if you aren’t stuck-up. As you interact with guys, stand tall and make it clear that you are self-sufficient.
- For instance, if your car breaks down, a confident person might take care of everything themselves and then casually tell a guy about it the next day. You’re showing that you can handle things on your own without boasting about it.
Highlight your intellect.
Engage in meaningful, thoughtful discussions. Prove to the guys around you that you can contribute to any conversation, no matter the topic. You don’t have to be an expert, but feel confident talking about subjects you’re passionate about.
- While some may believe that guys don’t appreciate someone too knowledgeable, you should never feel the need to downplay your intellect just to attract someone.
- Ask him about his experiences and talk less about your own. Create an authentic conversation about shared interests.
Make eye contact and flash a smile.
Invite him over without uttering a word. If you notice an attractive guy from a distance, make brief eye contact and offer him a quick smile. For most guys, this simple gesture signals your interest and invites them to approach.
- Avoid constantly looking at your phone or staring down at a screen. It can make you seem less open and approachable.
- Reader Poll: We asked 304 Mytour readers if they thought putting away their phone improved a date, and 89% of them responded with Yes. [Take Poll] If you're glued to your phone, eye contact is impossible!
Request assistance.
Guys enjoy feeling like they’re needed, even just a little. If you’re struggling to start a conversation with a guy, approach him and ask for a small favor. Something simple like, “Could you pass me a straw?”
- You could also share a tough work situation or a challenging school assignment. Many guys love offering advice.
- While it’s fine to ask for help with small things, save the bigger requests for someone you’re in a real relationship with.
Give him a few kind words.
Guys don’t often get complimented when they’re out and about. If you want to leave a lasting impression, compliment him on something simple like his shirt or his hairstyle. He’s likely to remember both you and your kind words.
- Something as simple as, “I love that shirt. It really suits you.”
- Stick to one or two compliments in a conversation to avoid overwhelming him or coming off as too eager.
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Men are drawn to the idea of you having your own life. What do you get up to when you're not working or studying? Tell him about your weekend rock climbing adventures or how you're in the process of writing a future bestseller. He’ll likely find it intriguing enough to ask you for more details.
- If your weekend activities involve a group (hiking, fishing, skiing, etc.), feel free to invite him to join you.
Appear indifferent toward him.
Even if you’re really into him, keep it to yourself. Instead of being overly affectionate, act like you think he’s just okay. If he sends you a text, wait a few hours to reply. If he flirts, pretend you didn’t notice. A lot of guys enjoy the “chase,” even if they won’t admit it.
- It’s important to find the right balance—you want to show some interest so he doesn’t lose interest, but you also don’t want to come off too eager and scare him away. For example, if he asks you out on Saturday, you could say you’re busy but free on Sunday.
Pay attention to how you look.
When you look good, it boosts your confidence. Wear clean, well-fitting clothes that complement your body. Style your hair, and apply some makeup if you feel like it. There’s no one-size-fits-all approach to attracting guys, so as long as you feel confident, you’ll look great!
- Guys typically don’t care too much about high fashion or designer labels. You can wear something pricey if you have it, but don’t stress over keeping up with every new trend.
Go out with a small group of friends.
Go out alone or with just one other person. Guys often find it a bit overwhelming when you're in a large group. If you're not surrounded by others, you're more likely to get noticed by a guy.
- While a few guys might have the nerve to approach you in a big crowd, they're rare.
Spend time in places where guys hang out.
Being in the right place matters. If you're trying to meet a guy, consider heading to a bar or club on a Saturday night. You'll have lots of guys to choose from and increase your chances of meeting someone you like.
- Clubs and bars are generally great spots since people are more inclined to start conversations there.
- If bars or clubs aren't your vibe, a coffee shop or bookstore can be good alternatives.
EXPERT TIP
John Keegan
Dating Coach
Dating Coach
Try using activities you love to meet guys. Don't be afraid to put yourself out there and share new experiences with guys in a way that's meaningful to you. Investing energy into these new experiences can really pay off!
Join the Discussion...
I'm ready to get into the dating pool and find a good guy that's right for me...I just don't know where to get started lol. I feel like you can't just bump into people like in the movies, so where do I even go to find a potential boyfriend these days? Any tricks to make a guy notice me and keep chatting with me? I want to hear it all!
Sarah Schewitz, PsyD
Licensed Psychologist
Licensed Psychologist
Online dating is a convenient option, allowing you to connect with others from the comfort of your home. However, some find it mentally exhausting. For others, a more natural approach works best: engage in activities you enjoy, and you might meet someone who shares similar interests.
When you're meeting someone new, especially as a woman, you're assessing their safety, kindness, and compatibility. These are key qualities to look for. Being too forward or aggressive on the first impression can be off-putting for many.
If you feel someone is a good match, just initiate with a simple greeting. A friendly smile, a casual 'how are you?', can be the perfect way to open the door to conversation.
When you're meeting someone new, especially as a woman, you're assessing their safety, kindness, and compatibility. These are key qualities to look for. Being too forward or aggressive on the first impression can be off-putting for many.
If you feel someone is a good match, just initiate with a simple greeting. A friendly smile, a casual 'how are you?', can be the perfect way to open the door to conversation.
As a woman, taking the initiative can really make a difference in dating. Men are often expected to pursue, so when you switch it up and ask them out, you take control of the situation and choose who you're interested in. It can lead to more favorable outcomes.
Personally, I asked my current boyfriend out. At first, he was a bit taken aback but then thrilled, saying yes and excited to go on dates with me.
If you're looking to meet guys, consider joining groups or activities that align with your hobbies. You can also take a class, volunteer, or frequent local spots. Once you meet someone, engage in friendly conversation, offer compliments, and show genuine interest in what they have to say. Good luck!
Personally, I asked my current boyfriend out. At first, he was a bit taken aback but then thrilled, saying yes and excited to go on dates with me.
If you're looking to meet guys, consider joining groups or activities that align with your hobbies. You can also take a class, volunteer, or frequent local spots. Once you meet someone, engage in friendly conversation, offer compliments, and show genuine interest in what they have to say. Good luck!
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Everyone is unique. What works for one person might not work for another.
