How to Write a Sympathy Card

Begin with an appropriate greeting. The most common way to start a sympathy card is with the phrase "Dear." You could also use "With heartfelt sympathy," or simply begin with the name of the deceased. Avoid starting with "Hello" or any casual greeting, as it may make the card seem less formal.

• For the person you're writing to, use the name you typically call them by. If you're writing to a teacher you address as "Ms. Hien," make sure to include her name on the card. For someone you are familiar with, use their first name.
• If the card is meant to express sympathy to the entire grieving family, not just one individual, write out each person's name. If you're unsure of everyone’s names, simply write "Sang and family."

Express how deeply you feel about their passing. Mention how saddened you are by the news of their death, and if you knew the person, include their name. If you did not know them, you can subtly refer to them as "their mother" or "their grandfather," etc. For example:

• I am deeply saddened to hear of Mai's passing after a long battle with cancer.
• I am so sorry to hear of Hoa's death.
• No words can truly express my sorrow upon hearing of Sáu's passing.

If you didn’t know the person well, consider keeping it brief. Ending your message concisely after expressing your condolences is perfect for when you're sending a card to someone you’re not close with. Use simple phrases that won't be misinterpreted. Phrases like "I will always remember you with deep sympathy" or "Please accept my condolences" work well for short messages. It will be even more meaningful if the card you are sending includes a pre-written note or a poem inside. Here are some examples of expressing your feelings concisely:

• You will always be in my thoughts.
• Our thoughts and prayers are with you.
• We are always thinking of you.
• I will pray for you during this difficult time.
• We will remember [the deceased] during this time of mourning.
• [The deceased] will always be in our thoughts.

If you knew the deceased, consider sharing a memory. If the person who passed away was someone you knew, express how you will remember them and share a special memory or two. Sharing your grief can make the recipient feel less alone in their sorrow. Just briefly mention some special qualities about the deceased and what they meant to you.

Offer to help if you wish. Include a few words offering the family to reach out if they need assistance. Make sure you are truly ready to help if they do contact you and ask for support.

End the card with an appropriate closing. If you are close to the family, simply write "With deepest sympathy," and then sign your name. If you are sending the card to someone you don’t know well, choose a closing that reflects your emotions and your relationship with the person. For example:

• With heartfelt condolences,
• With great sorrow,
• With sympathy,
• With deepest sympathy,
• Please accept my sincere condolences,
• I share in your grief,

Compose a thoughtful message if you were familiar with the deceased. If the person who passed away was someone you knew, you will likely have many memories to share and words to say. Consider writing a draft on another piece of paper to gather your thoughts before finalizing the condolence message. Think about what you knew about the departed and try to express your feelings in a sincere and natural manner. Here are some examples:

• Dear Nam, We were truly saddened to hear of Loan's passing. She was a kind and dear friend who always made time for others, and we all cherished her. Loan's students will forever remember her as a dedicated teacher and an exemplary role model. If you need help with anything, such as small tasks or house cleaning, please don't hesitate to reach out to us. We are ready to help, and our thoughts are with you. Sincerely, Hồng and Huệ
• Dear Cúc and Tuấn, We are deeply sorry to hear about your beloved daughter's passing after her brave battle with illness. What a courageous little girl she was! We will remember her every day. Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your two sons. If there's anything we can do to assist, please don't hesitate to reach out. With sympathy, Đào and Dương

Express your condolences if you did not know the deceased. If you are unable to share memories of the deceased, you can speak of their virtues or simply express your sympathy for the loss that the family is enduring. Here are some examples:

• Dear Linh, I am so sorry to hear about your father's passing. Although I never had the chance to meet him, I know that everyone in the Huy Hoàng neighborhood admired his strong work ethic. It is truly heartwarming that you spent time with him during his final days. If you need anything or simply want someone to talk to, please don't hesitate to reach out. My thoughts are with you. Sincerely, Huy
• Dear Vũ, I was very saddened to hear about your brother Long. I know how close the two of you were. If there's anything I can do, please don't hesitate to call. My condolences to your family, An

Write a heartfelt condolence message for the loss of a pet. You can express similar feelings when writing a condolence note for someone who has lost a pet. Try to include some details about the pet in the message. Here are a couple of examples:

• Dear Châu, I am so sorry to hear about Shadow's passing. I remember when you first adopted him 13 years ago. He was such a wonderful companion, wasn’t he? Our paths will certainly feel different now that his footsteps are no longer by your side. Sending my deepest condolences, Đức
• Dear Bảo, I was so saddened to hear about your dear Birdie. He truly was a special cat. It’s hard to believe we won’t see him running around the garden next spring like he always did when the weather warmed up. My condolences to you, Hồng

Always send condolences by card, rather than through email. Even if you find out about someone's passing via social media or email, it will be more meaningful to send a physical card by mail. You can either purchase a condolence card from a store, use a blank card with an appropriate image, or write your message on a pretty piece of stationery. It's best to write your condolences by hand or type them using blue or black ink.

• Do not send condolences through text messages.
• If you share condolences through social media or another medium, you should still send a card as well.

Send a card even if you plan to send flowers. Even if the bouquet comes with a small card, make sure to send a separate condolence card so you can express your sincere condolences. This allows you to write your own personal message and sign your name rather than relying on a pre-printed message from the flower shop.

Send a card even if the death occurred some time ago. Ideally, you should send a condolence card shortly after learning about the death, within a few days or weeks. However, it is still appropriate to send a card months, or even years, later if you were unaware of the death. Failing to do so may leave the family wondering if you truly care. While it may feel awkward sending a card late, it is certainly better than not sending one at all.

Avoid including too much religious content unless the family has shared their faith with you. Saying "I will pray for you" is completely acceptable, but copying passages from the Bible or expressing your faith in other ways may not be appropriate for a condolence card. The recipient may not share your faith, and you certainly don't want to impose your religious beliefs on them during such a sensitive time. It is better to express love and sympathy in a way that transcends religion.

• For example, saying "I believe he's in heaven now" may not be suitable if the family does not believe in heaven.
• However, if you and the family share the same faith, it can be wonderful to incorporate religious beliefs into the condolence card.

Don't worry too much about saying the wrong thing. Trust that your heartfelt message will convey your sincere desire to let the recipient know how much you care. The act of sending the card is thoughtful, and the recipient will appreciate it. Aim to write something sincere and empathetic. If you find it difficult to express yourself in a handwritten condolence message, that’s okay—there are many other ways to show the family that you’re there for them during this challenging time.

• Send a condolence card as soon as you hear of someone's passing. While you may have the chance to speak directly with the bereaved, sending a card is a profound way to show them that they are always in your thoughts.

• Card
• Pen
• Envelope