Buzz
For most people, a wedding day is one of the most important days in their life. As per tradition, a close friend or family member is usually invited to give a speech to congratulate the couple on their union. This can be a stressful experience, especially if you’re the one tasked with speaking in front of a crowd. As the speechwriter, it's most effective if you ensure your words are well-structured, concise, and that you practice multiple times before the big day.
Steps
Write a meaningful speech
Introduce yourself to the crowd. Start by introducing yourself so that the wedding guests and attendees can understand who you are. Share your name, your role in the wedding, and your relationship to the bride and groom. Not everyone may know you, so they’ll be curious to learn about your connection to the couple and why you’ve been chosen to speak.
- The maid of honor and best man will typically read a short speech at the wedding reception. The microphone will then be passed to anyone else who wants to say a few words.
- Just introduce yourself briefly and mention how you know the bride or groom. Avoid focusing too much on yourself. Remember, the spotlight should be on the couple.
Start with a humorous opening. Begin with a joke or recall a funny anecdote to help the audience relax (and yourself). Humor can be a great way to ease tension. Getting people to laugh right from the start will help dissipate any nervousness during your speech. This also leaves a lasting impression and makes your speech more memorable if they have a moment of joy.
- Use humorous remarks wisely to ease the initial tension and make everyone feel at ease. Try not to turn your speech into a monologue.
- Choose a funny story or remark that fits the context. At a wedding, the audience will include a variety of age groups, including children.
- The humorous story could be about the couple's serendipitous meeting, or an unforgettable childhood anecdote of one of them.
Share a memorable story about the bride and groom. Reflect on some of the most enjoyable memories you've had with the two main characters. If you're invited as the best man or maid of honor, you probably have a long-standing relationship with the groom or bride. Recalling a special moment or sharing a humorous tale will resonate emotionally and grab everyone's attention.
- Sharing a unique memory or story is more effective than focusing on just complimenting the bride or groom, as it makes the moment more personal.
Offer advice or sweet wishes for the future. Shift the focus of your speech toward the couple and their future together. Directly address the bride and groom. Wish them health, happiness, and prosperity. If you like, you can add a short fable or a meaningful quote to illustrate what you're saying.
- If you decide to use a quote in a section of your speech, make sure it is short, relevant, and not overused.
Express gratitude for the presence of the guests. Conclude your speech by thanking the bride and groom, both families, friends, and everyone in attendance, as well as the team who helped organize and plan the reception. Thank them gracefully, making them feel they are an important part of this special occasion. Invite everyone to enjoy and share in the happiness of the couple.
- Acknowledge the efforts of those who helped organize the wedding reception—it will make you feel humble and show them appreciation.
- Express your thanks in a few words in your speech. There's no need to thank everyone individually.
Jenny Yi
Wedding Designer and Coordinator
Wedding Designer and Coordinator
Place the young couple's relationship at the center of your speech. Jenny Yi, an event planning expert, advises: "Simply introduce yourself briefly, then say a few words about the bride and groom before they meet each other, and how they have changed after finding the one they want to marry. Be sincere – if you are not a humorous person, this may not be the time for jokes. Above all, remember that you're celebrating the union of this young couple."
Ensure prior preparation
Write the speech in advance. You need to write your speech and memorize it about one to two weeks before presenting it to an audience. Being asked to give a wedding speech shows that you are trusted, so you should take it seriously. The earlier you prepare, the more time you will have to practice and deliver the speech naturally.
- Consider the speech as homework. Prepare multiple drafts, check for errors, and ask friends to read it over to ensure it's ready.
Know when you will be called to deliver the speech. Confirm with the wedding planner or event specialist the exact timing of your speech. Typically, speeches and toasts occur during the reception once everyone is seated and the meal has begun. However, wedding schedules can vary. Be aware of the right signal to step onto the stage and use available sound and projection equipment correctly. Not knowing the timing could increase your anxiety.
- Familiarize yourself with the order of presentations if there are multiple speeches at the reception.
- Don’t spend the entire event worrying about your speech. If you’ve prepared well, don’t overthink it until you’re delivering it in front of the crowd.
Practice diligently. After writing the speech, read it while looking at the text. Then, try to deliver the speech without looking at the paper. Recite it in your head while showering, driving, or doing laundry. Practice until you can remember every part of it, no matter how hard you try to forget. This way, if you feel nervous in front of the audience, your reflexive memory will save you in an emergency.
- Know the speech by heart, but try not to sound like you're just reading it. Adjust your pace, and make sure to emphasize, express emotion, and speak clearly at each section of the speech.
Bring your notes with you. Even if you plan to memorize your entire speech, it’s still a good idea to bring notes with you onto the stage. In case you get lost or face difficulties, a stack of notes will guide you back on track seamlessly. If you don't use the notes, at least you'll have all the basic points in mind. It's better to be cautious than take a risk.
- Writing the entire speech on a few note cards is better than using several large sheets of paper. Not only does this look more aesthetically pleasing, but it also keeps your speech at an appropriate length.
- Only refer to the notes if you forget the next part. This way, your eyes remain engaged with the audience, maintaining their attention. Even the most engaging speech can become dull if the speaker focuses primarily on the notes.
Presenting the Speech
Stay calm. Make every effort to stay calm when the host invites you to deliver your speech. Speaking in front of an audience is often an awkward experience for everyone, but you’ll feel more confident if you're well-prepared and stick to your rehearsals. Remember, your friends and family are there to enjoy the moment and witness your confident success.
- Breathe slowly and deeply. Focus on your words and ignore distractions. Imagine you're speaking to one person instead of a room full of people.
- Drink a glass or two of water if it helps calm your nerves. Just don’t overdo it— you need focus and clarity when delivering your speech.
Keep your speech short and sweet. Aim to keep your speech between 2 to 5 minutes. While there is no strict time requirement for a wedding speech, it’s best not to ramble on. The speech should be long enough to capture your audience's attention and stir their emotions, but not so long that they lose interest. Focus on key points and then let the party resume.
- Delivering a short speech is completely acceptable. Simply offer a few kind words, congratulate the couple, and pass the mic back to the host.
- Speak slowly and deliberately. If you’re nervous, it’s easy to talk fast and rush. By speaking slower, you can adjust your pace and maintain control.
- People who are unprepared or overly nervous tend to ramble. To avoid this, stick closely to your written speech and gauge the audience’s attention to know when to wrap up.
Be genuine. Speak from the heart. Let the audience understand that you know exactly what you're talking about, and emphasize the importance of your relationship with the bride or groom. This is your opportunity to honor the friendship and express gratitude for being invited to the celebration. Let your emotions guide your words, but avoid letting those emotions lead to a desire for the speech to end as quickly as possible.
- Take the time to personally talk to the bride and/or groom.
- It's normal to get choked up! Once the speech is done, you’ll feel relieved. It might seem a bit exaggerated, but this shows the audience just how much you care.
End your speech with a toast. As your speech comes to a close, invite everyone to raise their glasses in a toast to the newlyweds. Share a few kind words wishing them all the best for the future. Then, encourage everyone to drink, move around the tables, and enjoy the festivities. The most important thing is for you to have a joyful moment!
- Typically, the best man or a representative from the groom's side will raise a toast to the bride, and the maid of honor will toast the groom.
Advice
- If you're unsure about the direction of your speech, start it the same way you would write a story: with an introduction, body, and conclusion.
- Ask a close friend who is objective to review your speech once you've completed it.
- Keep quotes to a minimum in your speech, as the words of others may distract from what you are trying to express.
- Make sure the microphone, speakers, and other equipment are working properly, and try to get familiar with using them before starting your speech.
- If you know someone close to the bride or groom who cannot attend the wedding, you can offer to convey their well wishes during your speech.
- Relax! You’re speaking at a celebration. You may feel a bit nervous, but it will pass quickly. Like everyone else at the party, focus your attention on the bride and groom and enjoy the fun together.
Warning
- Never use a template from the internet for writing your wedding speech. The speech should be an original creation that reflects your intellect, emotions, and unique experiences.
- Avoid drinking too much before delivering your speech.
- Don't include embarrassing or inappropriate stories in your speech. This is considered poor judgment. Your role is to honor the couple, not to mock them.
