Buzz
Keep the chat lively with these engaging topics
Running out of things to say to your boyfriend on the phone? It can be challenging to think of fresh, fun, and exciting conversation ideas, especially if you're new to dating. Don't worry, we've got a list of interesting conversation starters that will ensure your calls remain enjoyable and full of energy!
Fun Topics to Discuss with Your Boyfriend
- What movie could you watch over and over again?
- If you had a chance to choose any superpower, which one would you want?
- What’s a memory you hold close to your heart?
- How do you think your love language shows up in relationships?
- What’s something that always brings a smile to your face?
- How do you like to spend your ideal Sunday?
- Is there something you secretly enjoy but feel guilty about?
Steps
Personal questions
Ask your boyfriend personal questions to deepen your connection. Studies reveal that engaging in “reciprocal self-disclosure” (sharing personal details with one another) significantly boosts feelings of closeness and intimacy. Try asking him a few questions about his views, values, and passions, and be sure to share your own thoughts as well. You'll be amazed at how much closer you'll feel after your conversation! Here are some questions to get you started:
- What are 3 things that you think we both share in common?
- Is there something you've always wanted to achieve? Why haven't you done it yet?
- What does the concept of friendship mean to you?
- Are there any topics that you think are too serious to joke about?
- What do you feel the most grateful for in your life?
- If you had to choose your top 3 core values, what would they be?
- Do you see yourself more as an introvert or an extrovert?
- Which of your personal qualities do you feel the most proud of?
- How would you describe your style of communication?
- Do you forgive easily, or do you tend to hold grudges?
- How do you lift your spirits when you're feeling down?
- If you had to design the perfect day, what would it look like?
Check-ins
Simple questions like “how are you” often don’t offer much insight. Instead, try switching things up by asking more specific, thoughtful questions about how he’s truly feeling. These types of questions encourage your boyfriend to share in-depth details about his day or week, rather than giving a brief response like “I’m fine” or “I’m doing well.” After he answers, share something interesting about your day as well. Here are some examples:
- What was the highlight of your day today?
- What’s the most exciting thing happening at work right now?
- What have been the best and worst parts of your week so far?
- Are you learning anything cool in your classes right now?
- If you had to sum up your day in one word, what would it be and why?
- What’s one thing that completely surprised you this week?
- What’s going on in your life right now that inspires or energizes you?
Hypotheticals
Fun, hypothetical scenarios are a great way to keep the conversation going. Ask him anything, from the essentials of surviving on a desert island to his dream lottery shopping spree. You can even add a philosophical twist with a celebrity dinner party question. Then, dive deeper by asking him to explain why he feels that way. Here are a few ideas to kick things off:
- If you could go back in time and give advice to your younger self, what would you say?
- If you could wake up tomorrow with any superpower, what would it be?
- If you could invite 5 people, alive or dead, to a dinner party, who would you choose?
- If you won the lottery tomorrow, what’s the first thing you’d buy?
- If you only had one day left to live, how would you spend it?
- If you could live in any city in the world, which one would you choose?
- If you could get free food from any restaurant for the rest of your life, which one would it be?
- If you could live in a fictional world from a movie, show, or book, which one would you choose?
- If someone made a movie about your life, which actor would you want to play you?
- If you could only watch one movie for the rest of your life, what would it be?
- If you could only take three things to a desert island, what would they be?
Favorites
Ask him about the entertainment and art he loves. For a lighthearted conversation, professional matchmaker Shana Tibi suggests asking about his favorite books, TV shows, songs, and other entertainment. You may discover shared interests that could lead to fun date ideas, like attending a concert of a band you both enjoy or having a movie night watching a film you both love. Here are some favorite questions to ask:
- What’s your favorite movie?
- What’s your favorite movie genre?
- Who’s your favorite director?
- Who’s your favorite actor?
- Who’s your favorite musician?
- What’s your favorite band?
- What’s your favorite album?
- What’s your favorite song?
- What’s your favorite TV show?
- What’s your favorite book?
- Who’s your favorite author?
- Who’s your favorite fictional character?
- What’s your favorite sport to watch on TV?
- Who’s your favorite athlete?
Would you rather questions
Everyone enjoys a classic ‘Coke or Pepsi’ debate. At best, you’ll learn something new that you both have in common; at worst, you’ll turn your disagreement into a playful debate! Instead of just offering a one-word answer, take time to explain why you prefer one thing over the other. Your friendly discussion could lead to a really fun and engaging conversation! Here are some fun would you rather questions to get started:
- Would you rather have every meal you eat be a little too spicy or a little too salty?
- Would you rather talk to animals or speak every language in the world?
- Would you rather have a high salary with lots of debt or a low salary with no debt?
- Would you rather go a week without showering or a week without brushing your teeth?
- Would you rather be able to teleport anywhere or travel through time?
- Would you rather have a five-minute conversation with your past self or future self?
- Would you rather never hear music again or never watch a movie again?
- Would you rather play every instrument or play every sport in the world?
- Would you rather be stuck on a spaceship or stranded on a boat in the middle of the ocean?
- Would you rather eat breakfast foods or dinner foods for every meal?
- Would you rather always be overdressed or always underdressed?
- Would you rather have summer last the whole year or winter last the whole year?
Bucket lists
Bucket lists are a fantastic way to fuel your conversation. Ask your boyfriend about the things he dreams of doing, like visiting Hawaii, embarking on a cross-country road trip, or trying skydiving. Then, share your own bucket list and discover what goals and aspirations you both have in common. You could ask him questions like:
- What’s currently at the top of your bucket list?
- What are five things you absolutely want to do before you die?
- What are the top three cities you can’t wait to visit?
- What weird or unusual foods would you like to try in your lifetime?
- What risky or adventurous activities are you eager to experience at some point in life?
- What musicians would you like to see perform live before it’s too late?
First impressions
Take a walk down memory lane and ask him about the first time he saw you. Was it love at first sight, or did it take some time for sparks to fly? Keep the conversation flowing by sharing your version of the story as well. Comparing your different perspectives of that first moment can be fascinating! You could ask him:
- What were your first thoughts when we met?
- Did you always want to date me, or did you have other interests back then?
- Did you feel an instant connection, or did it develop over time?
- What was the first thing you noticed about my appearance when we met?
- What did you like most about my personality after our first meeting?
- Now that you know me better, does your first impression match how you see me now?
Childhood memories
Relive some memorable moments from your childhood. Ask your boyfriend to recall his most vivid childhood memory or share a favorite adventure from when he was younger. Then, swap stories and compare how your childhood experiences stack up against each other. You can ask him questions like:
- What’s your earliest memory from childhood?
- What’s your most cherished childhood memory?
- What was your best friend like when you were growing up?
- What’s the most daring thing you did as a child?
- What’s the biggest trouble you ever found yourself in as a kid?
- Did you have any special family traditions when you were little?
- Which family member were you closest to as a child?
- Are you satisfied with the way your parents raised you, or would you change anything?
- What was your favorite game or activity as a child?
Fears
Share and compare some of your deepest fears. You can dive into a serious conversation or keep it light—it’s all up to you! Ask your boyfriend about what scares him the most, or share one of your own fears to keep the discussion going. You might find that you have more in common than you think. Try asking questions such as:
- What’s your biggest fear?
- What were you most afraid of as a child? Has it changed now?
- What’s a silly fear you have that surprises people?
- Which fictional characters or movies frighten you the most?
- Are there any animals that scare you, like spiders or snakes?
- Do you believe in ghosts or supernatural beings? If so, do they scare you?
John Gottman, World-Couples Therapist
When small talk no longer feels sufficient, dive into meaningful questions that uncover your deeper selves. What are the hopes, values, dreams, and fears that shape your partner? Where have they faced struggles, and what lessons did they learn? Conversations can unlock intimacy when you make space for vulnerability. Be present, listen without judgment, and share openly in return. By fostering heart-centered communication, relationships can reach new depths.
Embarrassing moments
Share some of your most memorable and cringe-worthy experiences. Ask your boyfriend to recount an embarrassing moment from his past, or kick things off with one of your own. To make it more fun, turn it into a competition to see who has the most awkward story to share! Let the conversation flow with humor and lightheartedness as you both laugh about your most awkward moments. Here are some questions to get you started:
- Do you have any hilarious summer camp stories?
- What’s something your family always reminds you of that embarrasses you?
- Have your parents ever made you cringe in front of your friends?
- Did you have any funny or embarrassing nicknames growing up?
- What’s the most embarrassing thing that happened to you at school?
- Have you ever said something awkward in a serious conversation?
- What’s your most embarrassing first date memory?
Moments of gratitude
Reflect on what you're both truly thankful for. Gratitude may seem a little sentimental, but it's a great way to keep a meaningful conversation going. It gives you the opportunity to learn what matters most to your boyfriend and what he values most, and you might even hear how much he appreciates you. After sharing, you can steer the conversation toward your own moments of gratitude. Here are some questions to ask:
- Who has had the most positive influence on your life?
- Which family member do you feel most grateful for?
- Which friend has had a recent positive impact on your life?
- What’s something I do that makes you feel appreciated?
- What’s a physical object, hobby, or experience that you’re especially thankful for at the moment?
Goals
Talk about his goals and aspirations for the future. As your relationship grows, it's a great idea to ask about his long-term dreams and what he envisions for his future. These conversations can be incredibly revealing and give you insights into where you're both headed. Plus, it helps ensure that you’re on the same page for a lasting relationship. You can also share your own goals so he feels more comfortable opening up. Here are some great questions to ask:
- What’s your biggest goal right now?
- What do you hope to achieve in the next 5 years?
- When you think about your future in 10 years, what do you see?
- What career goals are you focusing on this year?
- What’s your dream job, and do you feel you're on the right path to achieve it?
