Buzz
"Tell me about yourself" is a question that often leaves many of us speechless – and it becomes even trickier when you're having a conversation through messages on a dating app. Fortunately, it's not too difficult to come up with interesting answers that describe your personality, attract potential matches, and make the conversation more engaging. We've gathered here all the information you should include in your response and the most effective ways to express yourself on a dating app.
Steps
Talk about shared experiences and common interests.
Dating apps have profiles for a reason. Take a look at the profile of your match and any previous messages exchanged to see if there are shared interests or experiences. Did both of you travel to Thailand? Share a story from that trip! The other person will feel more connected to you if you mention something that you both have in common and show that you've paid attention to their profile, images, and conversations. You could say things like:
- "I'm really into pop music and a fan of Mỹ Tâm. I see you are too!"
- "I spend a lot of time outdoors and love exploring the wonders of nature (I couldn't help but notice the beautiful national park photos you posted!)"
- "I love reading and am always on the lookout for new books. Looks like you have a whole collection! Any recommendations?"
Highlight your most unique traits.
Talk about what makes you the most interesting person on the planet. Chances are, you're not the only one on the app sharing details about yourself. Rare or extraordinary experiences can help you stand out in the crowd and create a more memorable conversation. You can use humorous events or short stories to make ordinary activities sound exciting:
- "I have the entire collection of Metallica's tour t-shirts" sounds far more impressive than "I enjoy listening to concerts."
- "I love teaching math to my third-grade students. Once, I had the entire class find costumes of famous celebrities and solve math problems about the cost of those outfits."
- "I've traveled to 17 countries, and in each one, I try the local bread to see which one tastes the best."
Be upfront about your intentions.
Be clear about your intentions to avoid misunderstandings or hurt feelings. Let the other person know what you're looking for beyond just a dating app experience. Are you seeking a long-term relationship, or are you just looking for casual fun right now? This is the moment to see if both of you have similar goals. You might say things like:
- "Right now, I just want to casually date and meet new people, but if I feel a spark, I’d be open to something more serious."
- "I'm on this app to find a girlfriend for the long haul and to think about a future together."
- "I'm looking for a fun summer fling before I head abroad in the fall."
- Remember, you can share as much or as little as you like. From experience, the answer should be about 70% about yourself and 30% about what you're looking for in a partner or relationship.
Share major life changes or milestones with your match.
Share important events that could impact your future relationship. If you’re planning to move to another city in a few months for a new job, let them know. Someone looking for a long-term relationship may feel disappointed if, after some great conversations, you suddenly mention that you’ll be leaving. Be upfront about details that you would want to know about them. You could say things like:
- "In a few weeks, I have to go back to Hanoi for my studies, so we'll only be able to talk from a distance for most of this year."
- "I mostly work night shifts, so my schedule is quite the opposite of most people’s."
- Feel free to share any other relevant details. Whether you’re taking care of children, have a job that requires frequent travel, or spend half the year living abroad – these are things you might want to let your match know. Use your discretion to think about what they need to know about you.
Be specific.
Talk about interesting details to show what you're currently up to. Share with them about a new project you’re working on, a recent hiking trip if you enjoy outdoor activities, or a new recipe if you’re a talented baker. You can dive deep into anything that interests you. These details will give your match a better idea of who you are, and they'll begin to imagine what your life might be like.
- Instead of saying something like "I enjoy soccer," try adding more details like "I love playing soccer with my friends. Tomorrow, we’re having an impromptu match."
- Say something like "I’m preparing a project where I’ll be photographing gourmet desserts for a restaurant’s Instagram" rather than just saying "I work in social media."
- "Last week, I completed my fastest 10k race yet, and now I’m excited for the next one!" sounds far more passionate than saying "I’m a runner."
Talk about interests not mentioned in your profile.
Your match already knows the basics about you from your profile. There’s no need to mention that you’re a pharmacist working somewhere since they’ve likely read that information when you were matched. Instead, focus on sharing standout aspects that might spark a response or create common ground. Your answer should reveal things about ‘you’ that aren’t mentioned in your profile. You could share things like:
- "When I’m not working, I like to walk along the lake or participate in community volunteer activities."
- "Family is really important to me. I try to visit my parents back home at least once or twice a month."
- "I love organizing events and am the one who plans the parties and celebrations at my company."
Share a little personal story.
Give more details about the events in your profile. Add one or two sentences explaining why you chose your profession or what inspired you to pursue your latest hobby. These personal details will make you seem more interesting and increase the likelihood of your match opening up in return.
- For example, you could say, "I’ve always enjoyed helping others, so I chose nursing" rather than a more generic, impersonal statement like "I work as a nurse."
- Keep your tone light and cheerful. A few personal details can help create a connection, but be careful not to overshare too soon, or it might make your match regret swiping right.
Include some emojis to keep the tone fun and flirty. 😉
Emojis are great tools to express yourself and set a playful vibe in your responses. Add a smiling face 😁 after something funny or a smirking face 😏 if you’re telling a mischievous story or testing how your match feels about flirting. Almost any emotion or interest you can think of has an emoji to represent it. You could try using emojis like:
- "I’m looking for someone who loves cuddling 🤗 Physical touch is my love language."
- "I’m passionate about surfing and love vacationing in places where I can catch some new waves 🌊🏄♂️"
- Messages made up entirely of emojis can be confusing and easily misinterpreted. Instead of texting 👁❤️🗼, just say simply "I love Paris" (or "J'adore Paris" if you want to show off your language skills.)
Avoid overcomplicating your response.
Focus on details that can spark a fun conversation. At this point, the person you're paired with knows very little about you, and they may get bored if your responses are filled with personal issues or heavy emotions. Stick to positive topics and avoid venting about family troubles or arguments with others.
- This also applies to nude pictures or sexting. While conversations may progress to that point later, suggestive words or provocative images should not be sent during the initial stages.
Assume that the other person is interested in what you're saying.
Assume that the other person is genuinely interested in what you're sharing. Dive deeper, bring up select stories, and express your passion; give them a chance to respond with enthusiasm and wit. This way, you can skip the small talk and move into more meaningful conversations, assuming that the other person is just as eager to chat with you.
- If they know about the topics you're talking about, great! If not, you'll have new opportunities to talk about them.
Try sending voice messages.
There are apps that allow you to send voice messages to add a personal touch. It's hard to convey a warm or enthusiastic tone through text messages. Recording your response as a voice message is a fun and spontaneous way to express your personality without worrying about fixing your hair or picking up clothes scattered around your bedroom, as there are no images involved.
- Using voice messages right away might be a bit forward, so it's better to text first. Once you feel comfortable with the other person, you can ask, "Can I send you a voice message?" or "Would you prefer voice messages instead of text?"
Show enthusiasm and optimism.
Convince your match that you're happy with your life. Even if you're not fond of your job or the city you're living in, try to turn it into something positive. If you seem uninterested or disengaged with your own life, the other person will likely feel the same way about you.
- If you find your job dull, mention its redeeming qualities, like, "Office work isn't my dream job, but on the plus side, I have time to pursue my passion for music." You can then chat with them about music.
- Use exclamation marks. Seriously! Sentences that end with a period can sound less genuine, so occasionally use exclamation marks to express your enthusiasm about yourself.
Go with the flow naturally.
Send a personalized message to each person you'd like to talk to. Each individual will have different stories or interesting events to share. Use that as a foundation to create a unique conversation for each person, ensuring a more engaging chat. If you keep sending the same response to everyone, you'll lose the spontaneity and excitement that comes with the dating app experience.
Be yourself.
Dating apps are not meant for randomly connecting with everyone. Be honest, and you'll find someone who is a good match. Send a genuine response based on your own interests and experiences rather than what's listed on their profile. If the conversation progresses or you meet the person later, they'll realize if you're not being honest.
- You won't lose much by exchanging a few initial messages with a new match, so feel free to share as much or as little as you feel comfortable, and always be truthful.
Have fun!
You're using a dating app for entertainment and to meet new people. Responding to messages shouldn't feel like a chore. If it starts to feel like one, put your phone down and do something else. You can always come back when you're in the right mood and ready to chat.
Tip
- Enjoy the fun no matter what happens! If the other person goes silent, blocks you, or ignores you for more than a few days, they've lost their chance, and you've avoided the trouble!
