Buzz
Among all the words in the English language, receiving a "hey" from a girl on Tinder undoubtedly takes the prize for being the most puzzling and frustrating. The good news is, if you're struggling to come up with the perfect reply and want to spark her interest, we've got the answers you need. We collaborated with a professional dating coach to compile 11 reliable responses. Keep reading for top strategies and example messages to kick off a genuine conversation when a girl sends you that initial "hey" on Tinder.
This article draws from an interview with our expert dating coach and licensed social worker, Julianne Cantarella. Check out the full interview here.
Steps
Reply with a simple “Hey” to keep things quick and easy.
Match her energy and put the ball back in her court. A quick, friendly reply is a safe way to go. It also sends the message, “Alright, your move,” because it’s now up to the girl to figure out how to keep the conversation going. Try adding an emoji or a variation of “hey” to inject some personality into the exchange. You could even add her name to start building a connection.
- “Hi, Clara :)”
- “Hey yourself”
- “Hey!”
- “Howdy.”
- “Hey to you, too.”
Start off with something casual like asking, 'How’s it going?' It’s a light and easy way to initiate a conversation without any pressure.
If you’re aiming for an effortless conversation, begin with something like asking about her day or what she’s been up to. It’s a great, non-intrusive opener that encourages a natural back-and-forth. Depending on her reply, follow up with something relevant to keep the conversation flowing.
- ‘Hey, how’s your night going?’
- Follow up: If she says her night’s going well, ask, ‘What’s been the best part of it?’
- ‘What are you up to today? Anything exciting?’
- Follow up: If she mentions grabbing dinner, try, ‘That sounds nice! Where did you go?’
- ‘Hi, how’s everything going?’
- Follow up: If she’s doing well, keep it fresh with something like, ‘What’s your idea of a perfect day?’
Kick off a chat by talking about her passions or hobbies. This can create a deeper connection from the start.
Show her you’re genuinely interested by mentioning something in her profile that caught your eye. If you share common interests, highlight those to foster connection. This signals that you're genuinely interested in her as a person and can encourage more detailed responses.
- ‘You’re a scuba diver? That’s awesome! How do you even learn to do that?’
- ‘I’m into national parks too, though I haven’t been to Yellowstone. What was it like?’
- For a smooth entry, try saying, ‘You know what I love about your profile?’
Ask her for her opinion on something. It shows you value her thoughts and can spark an interesting conversation.
Get to know her and make her feel valued at the same time. By asking her for an opinion you’ll learn about what she likes and doesn’t like. Try asking about anything from pop culture to dream travel destinations to favorite restaurants in your city. The key is to keep the conversation lighthearted and funny. You want to create a back-and-forth with good vibes.
- “What’s the best way to listen to music? Are you an anarchist who just hits shuffle or someone who likes playlists in order?”
- “If you had to pick between living by the ocean or living in the mountains, which would you pick?”
- “Hot take: Hummus is the best kind of dip. Agree or disagree?”
Challenge her to a flirty game.
Get her attention by starting up a bit playful competition. Rather than asking a regular question, give her a silly challenge—whether that’s a game of “Would You Rather” or something completely random. Sometimes women message “hey” on dating apps because they’re interested in you, but they’re used to someone else initiating the conversation. This strategy shows you can take initiative, and it sets up a fun conversation.
- “Can you finish this sentence for me? If we went on a date, I’d…”
- “I dare you to tell me your most unpopular opinion. You down?”
- “I challenge you to find your dog’s top 3 celebrity look-alikes. Go!”
Give her a compliment.
Flattery can help build attraction, and it shows you’re interested in her. Go for simple compliments about her photos, or stand out from other guys by complimenting her bio and personality. You don’t just want to compliment her—you want to show her a bit of your personality, too.
- “You have a gorgeous smile. But honestly, your bio is completely fascinating.”
- “Just from your profile, I can tell you’re the funniest person on this app. I’m impressed.”
- “Your profile’s wild… And you’re really cute. Want to get drinks on Thursday so I can tell you that again in person?”
Give a cheesy pickup line a shot.
Pickup lines may not be for everyone, but they can be a classic way to start a conversation. If you want to make it even better, tailor the line to something from her bio. If she has a beach photo, use a pun related to the ocean. If she’s a software engineer, a geeky line could work well. Humor, after all, is one of the best ways to break the ice on dating apps.
- “Do you like raisins? How about going on a date?”
- “You bike to work instead of driving? Is your license revoked for making all the guys swoon?”
- “I’m studying important dates in history. How about going on one of them?”
Playfully point something out about her.
We all know ‘hey’ is not the most exciting opening line. Sometimes, simply calling it out can break the ice, especially if the person you're messaging is shy or not great at starting conversations. Keep your responses light and playful, and add a few emojis to let them know you’re joking. Here are some funny responses you can use when you get a ‘hey’ on Tinder:
- “Whoa, ‘hey’ is a bold opener. Let’s keep things family-friendly! 😳”
- “Want to try again? You’ve got a second shot 😉”
- “I usually don’t respond to ‘hey,’ but you seem cool.”
- “I think ‘hey’ is the nicest thing anyone’s said to me today.”
- “Slow down, you had me at ‘hey.’”
Send a witty and clever GIF.
She may have sent just a single word, but a picture can speak volumes. Show off your sense of humor and liven up the conversation with a funny or cute GIF. If you're unsure what to send, a cute animal or a well-known pop culture reference is always a safe bet. Keep it non-sexual unless she indicates she’s cool with that.
- Send a GIF of a cute penguin waving and saying ‘hey’ back.
- Reply with a GIF of a polar bear saying, “Yes! You finally broke the ice.”
- Test her knowledge of pop culture with a GIF from one of your favorite shows and see if she gets the reference.
Reply with an emoji.
Emojis are a great way to respond when you’re at a loss for words. A classic 😊 or 😁 will do for a friendly reply. For a fun twist, send her a cryptic combo of emojis like 🍔🐻📈 and let her guess what it means. Here are some more emojis to consider:
- Send 👀 to imply, ‘Hey, I see you.’
- Use 😎 to keep it cool.
- Send 🌹 if you’re in a romantic mood.
- Reply with 🔥 to show her you think her profile is fire.
- Respond with 😑 to let her know you’re unimpressed by a ‘hey.’
Don’t bother replying.
Sometimes, a one-word response signals low effort or a lack of interest. Take a look at her profile and see if you have much in common. If it doesn’t seem like there’s a connection, and you’re unsure about replying, it’s okay to let the message be. There are plenty of other matches who are more in line with your effort.
- Consider waiting 1-2 days to see if she follows up. If not, you can move on.
- If someone consistently sends short messages and takes forever to reply, it’s probably time to move on.
- Want more matches on Tinder and better chances of finding someone great? Check out our dating coach’s advice here.
