Buzz
First dates can be a blend of emotions—exciting, nerve-racking, and enjoyable—but they should always carry a romantic vibe! This is your opportunity to build a connection and see if you and your date are compatible. Adding a touch of romance can greatly increase your chances of securing a second date, so explore our suggestions for creating the perfect atmosphere.
Steps
Choose a romantic setting.
Select a unique spot your date would love. This could be a picturesque or historically significant location, or somewhere meaningful to your date. For example, if they enjoy wine, a vineyard would be an ideal choice. If they prefer the outdoors, consider a scenic arboretum or rose garden. Aim for a place that feels personal and special to them. This approach is far more romantic than the typical dinner-and-a-movie routine!
- For art enthusiasts, a museum or gallery visit could be a great idea.
- Avoid casual coffee dates at cafes, as they may lack the desired ambiance.
Engage in activities that allow closeness.
Seek opportunities to be physically near and active to foster intimacy. Consider activities like salsa dancing, swimming at the beach, or visiting an amusement park together. Opt for experiences that keep you engaged and interacting rather than passively observing. This approach increases the chances of building a genuine connection.
- Avoid lengthy concerts or shows, as they limit interaction with your date.
Make conversation a priority.
Emphasize dialogue over entertainment. A first date is about understanding the other person—their interests, personality, and sense of humor. Keep the conversation light, discussing topics like favorite bands, foods, or travel destinations. Demonstrating genuine interest is far more romantic than passively watching a movie, so pay close attention to their responses.
- Avoid heavy topics like politics, religion, or relationships; save those for later.
- Reflect on whether the date felt like a fun way to pass time or an unforgettable experience filled with meaningful conversation.
Keep your phone out of sight.
Focus entirely on your date. While it might not seem overtly romantic, giving someone your complete attention is incredibly meaningful. Consider how often you unconsciously glance at your phone. Make a conscious effort to turn it off and avoid distractions. By dedicating your full focus to your date, you’ll help foster a stronger connection.
- If turning off your phone isn’t an option, switch it to silent mode and resist the urge to check it frequently.
Use flirting to create chemistry.
Flirting is a clear sign that you’re interested and having fun! Try saying something sweet and sincere, like, "This might sound a little awkward, but I get really nervous around someone as stunning as you." Authenticity is key! Here are a few more examples:
- "That outfit looks incredible on you."
- "I think everyone here is envious—I’m with the most attractive person in the room."
- "You probably hear this all the time, but your smile is absolutely captivating."
Dedicate a song to your date.
Ask a band to play a song or sing karaoke for your date. If you’re at a venue with live music or a DJ, choose a romantic track you think your date will love and dedicate it to them. For a playful yet equally romantic gesture, volunteer to sing a heartfelt song at a karaoke bar. Your date might be surprised, delighted, or even amused, but they’ll undoubtedly appreciate the effort.
- This could even turn into "your song" if the relationship blossoms.
Use open and inviting body language.
Face your date directly and lean in slightly. Keep your arms relaxed and uncrossed, as crossed arms can appear defensive. Your goal is to make your date feel at ease and comfortable through your posture.
- Many people find sitting side by side more intimate than sitting across from each other, as it reduces physical distance and fosters a closer connection.
Incorporate subtle physical affection.
A gentle touch can convey your interest. Try lightly touching their shoulder, holding their hand, or brushing their arm. These small gestures help build a connection and make both of you feel more at ease.
- Don’t wait until the end of the date to initiate physical contact. A lack of touch beforehand can make a goodnight kiss feel abrupt or awkward.
EXPERT TIP
John Keegan
Dating Coach
Dating Coach
Initiate subtle physical contact. If the moment feels right during your date, lightly brush their hand or gently touch their arm. A positive response could indicate they’re open to more contact, helping to deepen the romantic connection.
Choose a romantic setting for a first kiss.
If you sense chemistry, ask your date if you can kiss them. When you’re both connecting well and they’ve initiated physical touches, they might be feeling romantic too. While there’s no pressure to kiss on the first date, it might feel natural—like when you’re both leaning in during a stunning sunset or they pull you closer as you say goodnight. If you’re both comfortable, go for it!
- Don’t take it personally or push if your date isn’t ready to kiss. They might need more time to build a connection or feel comfortable.
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Take QuizSee More QuizzesStay true to yourself.
Pretending to be someone you’re not isn’t romantic. The goal isn’t to deceive your date but to be open and genuine about who you are. Authenticity is inherently romantic! Remember, your date chose to spend time with you, so embrace your true self.
- To ease any nerves, wear something comfortable, exude confidence, and focus on enjoying the moment.
How Can You Leave a Great First Impression on a Date?
Join the Conversation...
I’m gathering the courage to ask someone I like out, but I’m stuck on what we should do. I’m open to almost anything, as long as it ensures we both enjoy ourselves and possibly leads to a second date. Any suggestions?
Mark Rosenfeld
Dating & Relationship Coach
Dating & Relationship Coach
In my experience, the best dates are free and involve movement. Dinner and a movie can feel too static, almost like an interview, and don’t encourage conversation. I recommend activities like walking or exploring new areas. Grab a coffee and stroll through a mall, or visit a charming neighborhood you’ve been curious about. I also love exploring local universities—they’re scenic and perfect for people-watching.
Mall dates might seem simple, but they’re my top choice for first dates for several reasons!
- If someone dismisses a mall date, they’re probably not my type.
- The food court offers a variety of cuisines to choose from.
- People-watching is a fun activity during the date.
- Walking through stores naturally sparks conversations about different topics.
- You can test their interest by suggesting dessert or a drink elsewhere in the mall—if they agree, it’s a great sign!
- After the mall closes, it’s a quiet, safe spot for deeper, more personal conversations.
My last first date at a mall lasted over 5 hours :)
- If someone dismisses a mall date, they’re probably not my type.
- The food court offers a variety of cuisines to choose from.
- People-watching is a fun activity during the date.
- Walking through stores naturally sparks conversations about different topics.
- You can test their interest by suggesting dessert or a drink elsewhere in the mall—if they agree, it’s a great sign!
- After the mall closes, it’s a quiet, safe spot for deeper, more personal conversations.
My last first date at a mall lasted over 5 hours :)
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