Buzz
Relating to previous generations can often feel challenging due to the vastly different environments in which we were raised. These differences might make it seem like we share little in common. However, older individuals possess a wealth of wisdom and experience that can greatly benefit younger generations, and showing them respect should come naturally to everyone.
Steps to Follow
Engaging with Older Individuals
Address people as sir or ma'am. Even if you come from a more relaxed background where addressing friends' parents by their first names is common, it’s important not to assume all older individuals are comfortable with such informality. Some may prefer traditional titles like Mr. or Mrs.
- Always inquire about their preferred form of address. Use sir or ma'am if you're unsure.
- If they request to be called by their first name, honor their preference. Ignoring their wish would be disrespectful.
Lend a helping hand. As people age, they may experience a decline in strength, balance, and agility, making everyday tasks more challenging. Offering even a small gesture of assistance can make their day easier and show your respect in a kind and considerate way.
- Holding doors or elevators open for those behind you is always polite, but it’s especially helpful for older individuals using canes or walkers.
- On public transportation like buses, trains, or subways, consider giving up your seat to an elderly person who may need it more than you.
- At the store, offer to grab items from high or low shelves that might be hard for them to reach. You can also help by carrying their bags to the car or loading groceries into their trunk.
Practice patience. Older individuals often move more slowly than they used to, which means even simple tasks like crossing the street can take longer. Show respect by being patient and avoiding rushing them.
- If an elderly person is slow to exit a bus, subway, or elevator, or is walking at their own pace, avoid pushing past them. Allow them to take their time to ensure their comfort and safety.
- If an older person takes longer at the checkout line, avoid showing frustration. Instead, be understanding—you might even offer to help by bagging groceries or lifting items from their cart.
Avoid making assumptions about disabilities. While some older individuals may have health challenges, not all do. Assuming they have poor eyesight or hearing can come across as condescending and make them feel uncomfortable. If you’re unsure, ask politely.
- Instead of asking directly, "Do you have hearing issues?" try a gentler approach like, "Am I speaking too quietly?"
Caring for Older Family Members and Friends
Spend time with them. Older individuals often feel isolated, especially if they no longer work or find it difficult to go out. This is particularly true for those living in nursing or retirement homes. Make an effort to visit the elderly people in your life regularly to show they are still valued.
- If your schedule is too busy for frequent visits, regular phone calls can be a great alternative. Setting a weekly call time can help you stay consistent.
- You don’t need to know someone in a nursing home to visit. Many facilities offer volunteer opportunities to spend time with residents.
Take an interest in their lives. It’s easy to assume that older individuals don’t have much happening because they no longer engage in activities they once did. However, many elderly people remain active and lead fulfilling lives, whether through hobbies like bingo, walking in the park, or gardening.
- When you visit or call the elderly people in your life, ask about their favorite activities and interests.
- If a grandparent, aunt, uncle, or other loved one has a hobby they enjoy, consider joining them. It’s a meaningful way to show you care about what matters to them.
Avoid controlling their lives. While your elderly loved ones may need help with certain tasks, such as household chores or understanding tax forms, they are often far from helpless.
- Offer assistance when needed, but always respect their ability to make their own decisions as long as they are capable.
Leveraging Their Experience
Appreciate their perspectives. Don’t assume older individuals are out of touch with current events. Their wealth of experience often provides unique insights that can help you see things in a new light.
- If your opinion differs from theirs, engage in a respectful conversation rather than arguing. Listen to their viewpoint and share yours calmly.
- Maintain eye contact when they speak to show you’re attentive and value their advice.
Seek their advice. Older individuals have a wealth of experience that can offer valuable guidance. Consult them when facing challenges, as they may have encountered similar situations. This could include:
- Struggles in school, whether academic or social.
- Conflicts in romantic relationships.
- Uncertainty about career choices.
Discover their traditions. Cultural practices, customs, and stories are often handed down through generations, making older family members a treasure trove of ancestral knowledge. Ask them to share stories about your family’s heritage to gain a deeper understanding of your roots.
- Creating a family tree can be an enjoyable project to undertake with an older relative. Websites like Ancestry.com can simplify the research process, so your elderly family members don’t have to recall every detail.
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Even a simple gesture, like smiling or greeting an older person you pass on the street, can have a significant impact. Stay alert for chances to engage with the elderly in your community.
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Avoid talking down to older individuals, assuming they won’t understand. When explaining something, like new technology, use clear and straightforward language without being condescending.
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Sometimes, being direct is the best way to express your feelings. Let the older people in your life know you respect and admire them, ensuring they feel valued.
Warnings
- Show compassion if an elderly person responds to your efforts with gruffness, anger, or annoyance. Their demeanor might stem from years of dealing with societal intolerance, pain, or frustration. Remain polite and empathetic.
