Buzz
An informative guide to the widespread social norms that shape our daily interactions.
Have you ever wondered why it's customary to shake hands when meeting someone, or why we say 'bless you' after someone sneezes? These behaviors are social norms—unwritten guidelines that members of a community generally follow to define what is deemed ‘proper’ conduct. Curious about what social norms are? We’ll break them down and offer examples from various real-life scenarios.
Understanding Social Norms
Social norms are the invisible guidelines that govern what’s considered appropriate behavior in any given society. According to business etiquette expert Carolyn Powery, some of the most recognized social norms include greeting others upon meeting, expressing gratitude by saying 'thank you' when receiving help, and allowing others to exit before entering an elevator or bus.
Key Steps
What are Social Norms?
Social norms are the informal guidelines that govern interactions within society. These norms represent the shared expectations and standards that members of a group have for what is deemed appropriate behavior. Social norms make it easier for individuals to understand how to act in social situations, which is why most people follow them.
- Social norms can exist in small groups (such as among friends or cliques) as well as large-scale societies (like the adult population of a country).
- They may also differ depending on location, context, or culture.
Public Behavior Norms
Greet others when you encounter them. Offering a greeting when meeting someone in public is a widely recognized social norm. This could be saying 'hello,' or simply offering a nod or a smile. The exact nature of the greeting can vary across cultures.
- For instance, in the U.S., shaking hands is a common greeting, while in Japan, a subtle bow is more typical.
Maintain eye contact during conversations. One common social norm is making eye contact while engaging with someone in conversation. This indicates interest and attentiveness, which is an essential aspect of being a good listener.
Using 'please' and 'thank you.' One of the most universally recognized social norms involves using 'please' when requesting something and 'thank you' when you receive it. For example, it's expected to say 'please' when asking someone for a favor, and to say 'thank you' when they agree to help you.
Apologizing when you make a mistake. Saying 'I’m sorry' is another common social norm when we err. For instance, it's customary to apologize if you accidentally bump into someone or if you arrive late to an event that’s already started.
Covering your mouth when coughing or sneezing. When you need to cough or sneeze in a public setting, it's common courtesy to cover your mouth with your elbow or a tissue. This helps keep germs from spreading, reducing the likelihood of passing on colds and viruses.
Holding the door for others. A familiar social norm involves holding the door open for someone entering a room or building behind you, particularly if they’re carrying something heavy or their hands are full.
Waiting your turn. In places like grocery stores, clothing stores, or takeout counters, it’s standard practice to queue behind those already waiting, and patiently wait for your turn to be served.
Respecting personal space. A key social norm is to maintain an appropriate distance from others, especially in busy or crowded public areas.
Keeping your voice down or staying silent in certain public spaces. For example, in libraries, it's expected to speak softly or even whisper to avoid disturbing those who are studying. Similarly, it's a norm to stay quiet during movies, plays, or musical performances in theaters to ensure other audience members aren’t disrupted.
Social Norms in Classrooms & Schools
Common Social Norms at School
- Arriving to class on time.
- Completing reading assignments before class.
- Turning in homework by the due date.
- Raising your hand if you wish to ask a question or make a comment.
- Remaining silent while the teacher or professor is speaking.
- Taking notes during lessons.
- Turning off your cell phone or putting it away during class.
- Keeping your eyes on your own work during exams.
- Never plagiarizing or cheating.
- Participating in group activities.
- Asking for permission before leaving the classroom.
- Being respectful to teachers and classmates.
- Addressing teachers as Mrs., Ms., Mr., Mx., or professor, along with their last name (not by their first name).
- Taking turns during class activities.
- Competing fairly in games.
- Asking before borrowing a classmate’s supplies.
- Keeping your desk neat and organized.
- Cleaning up after yourself.
- Speaking softly in the school library.
- Refraining from teasing or bullying, and standing up to those who do.
- Not spreading rumors.
- Using respectful language and avoiding cursing in the classroom.
- Abiding by all school rules.
Social Norms in the Workplace
Examples of Workplace Social Norms
- Being punctual for your shift.
- Adhering to any workplace dress code.
- Treating colleagues and supervisors with courtesy and respect.
- Remembering your coworkers' names and addressing them accordingly.
- Responding promptly to texts, calls, and emails from coworkers.
- Engaging actively in meetings.
- Respecting differing opinions from others.
- Giving credit where it's due, and never taking credit for someone else’s work.
- Not interrupting or speaking over others in meetings.
- Staying away from office gossip.
- Asking before taking food your coworkers brought into the office kitchen for themselves.
- Asking permission before using someone else’s office supplies.
- Letting your supervisor know if you're sick or unable to come to work.
- Informing your boss if you need to leave early.
- Maintaining professionalism at all times.
- Giving a two-week notice when planning to leave your job.
- Respectfully declining a job offer you don't intend to accept, rather than ignoring it.
Dining Etiquette at Restaurants
Examples of Restaurant Social Norms
- Making a reservation when dining at a popular restaurant.
- Arriving promptly for your reservation.
- Dressing according to the restaurant's ambiance (formal attire for fancy places, casual wear for laid-back venues).
- Waiting to be seated unless otherwise instructed to sit yourself.
- Waiting in line to order at a counter if needed.
- Laying your napkin on your lap as you sit down.
- Using polite language with your server, saying 'please' and 'thank you.'
- Chewing with your mouth closed.
- Not talking with your mouth full.
- Refraining from answering your phone or texting while at the table.
- Not reaching across other diners to grab something from the table.
- Asking before taking food from someone else's plate.
- Avoiding double-dipping in shared condiments.
- Not spitting out food you don’t like.
- Waiting for everyone to finish before leaving the table.
- Cleaning up after yourself and leaving your table tidy for the server.
- Properly disposing of trash at casual restaurants.
- Refraining from loud or disruptive behavior that could disturb fellow diners.
- Leaving a tip for your server at the end of your meal.
- Not bringing in food from other places into the restaurant.
Phone & Technology Etiquette
Examples of Phone & Technology Social Norms
- Answering a phone call with a greeting, like ‘hello.’
- Ending a phone call with a polite ‘goodbye,’ ‘talk to you later,’ or ‘bye.’
- Avoiding abruptly hanging up during a call.
- Leaving a voicemail if someone misses your call.
- Listening to and responding to voicemails promptly.
- Not checking your phone when someone is speaking to you.
- Silencing your phone during movies or live performances.
- Respecting privacy by not peeking at someone’s phone while they're using it.
- Asking for permission before using someone else’s phone.
- Replying to texts or instant messages to acknowledge receipt.
- Responding to emails within 48 hours of receiving them.
- Writing clear and relevant subject lines in your emails (e.g., 'Meeting Update' or 'Question Regarding Project').
- Beginning emails with a greeting, such as 'Dear [Name],' followed by a comma.
- Signing off your emails with a courteous closing, like 'Best regards' and your name.
- Choosing an appropriate and professional email address.
