What to Do if You're Lacking Close Friendships

You might feel shy or anxious about meeting new people. Many of us experience this, and it’s completely normal to feel a little nervous when approaching someone new. Shift your focus to the other person, as they might feel just as nervous as you do! With practice, meeting new people and building connections will become more comfortable over time.

• One effective approach is to ask others about themselves. Most people love sharing details about their lives, and this can ease the pressure on you during conversations.

You might unintentionally push people away rather than drawing them closer. Sometimes, we create distance from others without even realizing it. If you have a few friends but don't consider them particularly close, you could be holding yourself back. Whether intentionally or subconsciously, there are various reasons for this. Allow yourself to be more open and let people see the true you.

• To become better at opening up, ask others about their lives and, in turn, share similar personal details about yourself. Viewing the relationship as a two-way street can make it easier to share more intimate aspects of your life.

You might not be prioritizing time for them. Friendships deepen when you maintain regular contact, and they can fade if you neglect them unintentionally. Life can be busy, so don't stress too much if you lose touch for a week or two, but make an effort to check in with your friends often.

• Even if you can't always meet up in person, a simple text or phone call can go a long way in maintaining that connection.

You may have outgrown your old friendships. As we grow older, we naturally evolve and sometimes leave certain friendships behind. This isn't necessarily negative; it simply means that you may need to seek new connections with those who share your current interests and values. You can still stay in touch with old friends but remain open to new ones as well.

• For example, if you and your high school friends attended different universities, keeping up with all of them might be challenging.

You may not be dependable enough. When you make plans, be sure to follow through and allow your friends to rely on you. Strong friendships are built on trust, so strive to be the best friend you can be. By keeping your promises and sticking to the plans you make, you'll grow closer with your friends as they come to trust you.

• Likewise, if someone confides in you with personal information, respect their privacy and keep it confidential.

SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS WITH US

Which of the reasons for not having close friendships do you relate to the most?

Engage with others by asking about their lives. Learn more about your friends by showing interest in their day-to-day experiences. Instead of just asking, “What’s up?” go deeper with questions like, “How are you feeling today?” The more you understand about their lives, the closer your bond will become, paving the way for stronger friendships.

• Remember details they share and follow up with them later. For example, if a friend mentioned being stressed about a work meeting, send them a message the next day asking, “How did your meeting go?”

Accept social invitations. Whenever someone invites you to an event, consider saying yes! Feeling nervous about new social situations is normal, but saying yes is a great way to enhance your connection with others. It also shows you’re open to meeting new people, and you might make some valuable new friendships.

• For example, if a coworker invites you to happy hour and you decline, they might think you’re not interested in being friends. But saying yes will likely deepen your relationship with them.

Initiate contact with acquaintances. Take the first step in strengthening connections with people you already know. You might have acquaintances who you don't consider close friends yet. Start by reaching out to these people and inviting them for one-on-one activities. The more you interact with the people around you, the more likely you are to build close relationships.

• Even acquaintances you haven’t spoken to in a while can be great sources of friendship. You never know who might be open to reconnecting.

Reconnect with old friends on social media. This is an excellent way to rekindle friendships with people you've lost touch with over time. It’s common to drift apart from certain friends, such as those from high school, but you can easily reconnect through platforms like Instagram, Facebook, or Twitter. Reach out and ask how they've been, then see if they’d like to meet up in person if they're nearby.

• For example, you could message an old friend saying, “Hey Jess! Long time no see! I just came across your profile and wanted to check in. How have you been?”

Join a club or hobby group to meet new people. Connecting with others becomes easy when you share a common interest. If you have a hobby you enjoy, check local neighborhood pages to find people who also like it. This gives you the opportunity to meet like-minded individuals and bond over your shared interests. You'll likely build strong connections this way.

• Explore local Facebook groups or NextDoor pages for groups that share your interests.
• Consider joining a gym to meet people and make new connections.

TELL US YOUR THOUGHTS

Which method do you think works best for forming lasting friendships?

Consider volunteering to expand your social circle. Volunteering is a great way to meet new people in your community. Look for local organizations in need of volunteers, then visit on weekends or after work hours. You can spark conversations by asking fellow volunteers why they’re involved, what they do for work, and how long they’ve lived in the area. Bonding over shared community values and your mutual commitment to helping others can create lasting connections.

• Consider checking shelters, animal rescues, and environmental groups for volunteer opportunities.