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Compassionate words and actions for someone who is unwell
Hearing that a friend, family member, or coworker is ill can leave you searching for the right response. It’s perfectly fine if you’re unsure of what to say—what truly matters is showing empathy, sincerity, and support. To guide you, we’ve compiled a list of thoughtful things to say—and avoid saying—to someone who’s sick, whether they’re dealing with a minor ailment or a more serious condition.
Top Supportive Phrases for Someone Who Is Ill
- “Oh no, that’s terrible! I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way.”
- “Take care and remember I’m keeping you in my thoughts.”
- “Sending you love and strength as you get better.”
- “I’m really sorry you’re not feeling well. How can I help?”
- “Would you like me to bring you something to eat? What’s your go-to comfort food?”
- “I’m here for you, no matter what—through the ups and downs.”
- “You’re incredibly important to so many people. I hope you feel all the love around you.”
Guidelines
How to Comfort Someone Who Isn’t Feeling Well
Provide a casual but caring response to someone with a minor illness. When someone you know is dealing with a cold, flu, or other mild ailment, it’s thoughtful to show empathy and offer assistance if needed. For acquaintances, a simple “I’m sorry to hear that—get well soon!” works well. For closer friends, you might lighten the mood with humor, such as “Hurry up and get better so we can hang out!” Here are more examples of supportive responses:
- “Oh no, that’s terrible! I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way.”
- “It’s the worst when the best people get sick!”
- “I’m really sorry you’re not feeling well. How can I help?”
- “That’s so tough to hear! Let me know if there’s anything you need.”
- “Ugh, I’ve been there. Seems like everyone’s catching something lately.”
- “I can drop off some soup if you’d like. I know how hard it is to be sick.”
- “You’ve got to get better soon—who else will laugh at my terrible jokes?”
- “You can’t get sick now—I need my favorite work buddy! Just kidding. Feel better soon!”
How to Support Someone with a Serious Illness
Express genuine empathy and offer meaningful support to someone facing a serious health challenge. When someone is battling a severe illness or health crisis, it’s important to validate their feelings, provide tangible help, and let them guide the conversation. Focus on listening and understanding rather than worrying about your own reaction. If you’re at a loss for words, it’s okay to admit it. Here are some examples of what you might say:
- “I’m so sorry you’re going through this.”
- “Can I bring you some food? What’s your favorite comfort meal?”
- “You’re in my thoughts. I’d be heartbroken if anything happened to you.”
- “Just wanted to remind you that I’m thinking of you. Hoping today is a better day.”
- “Thank you for sharing that with me. It means a lot that you trust me.”
- “If you need to vent, cry, or just sit in silence, I’m here for you.”
- “Let me know if there’s anything I can do—walk your dog, give you a ride, anything.”
- “I don’t have the right words, but I want you to know I’m here for you every step of the way.”
- “Just a reminder that you mean the world to me. Sending you all my love.”
- “Do you have a lot of appointments this week? I’m free and happy to drive you anywhere—snack stops included!”
How to Comfort Someone Facing Cancer, Chemotherapy, or a Terminal Illness
Show unwavering support to someone facing a serious illness. When someone is diagnosed with cancer or another severe or terminal condition, finding the right words to convey your love and concern can be challenging. Offer kind, realistic words of encouragement and provide practical help to ease their burden. Most importantly, be genuine and let them know they’re in your thoughts. Here are some examples:
- “You’re deeply loved by so many. I hope you feel that love surrounding you.”
- “It’s completely okay to feel frustrated or angry. I’m here to listen whenever you need to vent.”
- “I can’t fully understand what you’re going through, but I’m here to support you in any way I can.”
- “I’m just a call away if you need to talk, cry, or simply let it all out.”
- “I’ve got an UberEats code—what’s your go-to comfort food right now?”
- “I’m not particularly religious, but I’m sending all my hopes for a miracle your way.”
- “You mean the world to me, and I’m so grateful to have you in my life. You’re truly extraordinary.”
- “I’m so sorry to hear about your situation. We’re all thinking of you. Let me know if you’d like company or help with anything—doctor’s visits, meals, or even yard work. Can I assist next week?”
How to Comfort Someone After Surgery
Send uplifting messages to support a loved one’s recovery after surgery. Undergoing surgery is always a nerve-wracking experience, regardless of the severity. Sending a thoughtful, caring message can make a big difference. Let them know you’re thinking of them during their recovery, or use one of these examples to brighten their day:
- “How are you feeling?”
- “Sending you all the healing energy.”
- “I hope your pain fades quickly.”
- “Wishing you strength and love as you heal.”
- “Let me know if you need a ride or just someone to talk to.”
- “Can’t wait to (insert your favorite activity to do together) with you again soon.”
- “I’ve handled hospital bills before—let me help you navigate the insurance process.”
- “So glad you’re in good hands—your medical team is amazing and will have you feeling better in no time.”
How to Comfort a Religious Person Who Is Ill
Use a faith-based approach or prayer when comforting a spiritual individual. If the person is religious, incorporating their faith into your message can provide immense comfort. Whether you share their beliefs or not, mentioning God or prayer can be meaningful. However, avoid religious references if you’re unsure of their beliefs. If they are spiritual, here are some examples:
- “We’re praying that God’s love surrounds you during this tough time.”
- “Hoping your faith gives you strength and peace as you heal.”
- “Everyone at (place of worship) is keeping you in our prayers.”
- “I’m sorry to hear you’re unwell. Remember, God is with you, even in the darkest moments.”
Tailoring Your Message Based on Your Relationship
How to Comfort a Sick Coworker If a colleague is unwell or facing a serious illness, send them a professional yet compassionate message. Depending on your relationship, express sympathy or offer practical help. Here are some examples:
- “Wishing you a steady recovery—hope each day gets better.”
- “Sending you strength and love as you navigate this.”
- “Looking forward to seeing you back at work soon.”
- “Take care and know you’re in my thoughts.”
- “The office isn’t the same without you! Get well soon.”
- “Sending positive vibes your way for a quick recovery.”
- “Can’t wait to have you back at your desk—get well soon!”
- “Don’t stress about the reports; we’ve got it covered :)”
- “Sorry to hear you’re unwell. I’ll handle things while you’re away.”
- “I’m here if you ever need to talk—sending my best.”
- “I’d love to drop off (a meal, flowers, or a card). Can I stop by next week?”
How to Comfort a Sick Friend When a friend is ill, your messages can be more personal, humorous, and heartfelt. Maintain your usual dynamic while showing support. Here are some examples:
- “Feeling up for some juicy updates?”
- “I’m just a call away whenever you need me.”
- “You’re one of the strongest people I know, but it’s okay to not feel okay.”
- “Whatever you need, I’ve got your back. You’re doing great.”
- “We’ll tackle this together. I’m here for you, no matter what.”
How to Comfort a Sick Family Member When a family member falls ill, it affects everyone. Show your love and support by offering help or bringing their favorite meals. Here are some examples:
- “Wishing you a quick and smooth recovery!”
- “Hope each day brings you more strength and comfort.”
- “Get well soon—you’ll be back to your amazing self in no time.”
- “You’re incredibly strong, and I admire your resilience. Sending healing thoughts your way.”
- “The whole family is thinking of you. We’re organizing meals for you—let me know your favorites!”
How to Comfort a Sick Partner If your significant other is ill, remind them of your unwavering love and support. Here are some examples:
- “I’ll be with you through every step, no matter what.”
- “We’re in this together. You’re not alone, and we’ll get through this.”
- “You inspire me every day. I’m so grateful to have you in my life.”
- “I love you, and I’m here for you. Whatever happens, we’ve got each other.”
How to Comfort a Sick Parent Your parents have always been there for you, so now it’s your turn to support them. While it’s hard to set aside your own feelings, focus on offering reassurance and practical help. Here are some examples of what you might say:
- “You’re incredibly strong, and I know you’ll get through this. Take it one step at a time.”
- “You’ve always taken care of me—now let me take care of you. What do you need right now?”
- “The family and I will handle everything. You just focus on resting and getting better.”
How to Comfort a Sick Child It’s heartbreaking to see a child unwell, whether they’re your own, a relative, or a student. While it’s important to avoid false optimism, younger kids can benefit from a bit of positivity. Here are some examples:
- “You’re so brave! Get well soon, my little hero!”
- “I know things aren’t fun right now, but I hope they get better soon.”
- “You’re amazing, and I’m so proud of you! Let’s plan an ice cream date when you’re feeling better.”
- “Your friends at school miss you, but I’m sure you’ll be back playing with them in no time.”
What Not to Say to Someone Who Is Ill
Avoid downplaying their situation or giving unsolicited advice. While there’s no perfect way to respond to someone who’s sick, certain phrases can do more harm than good. Here are some examples of what to avoid, though remember that most people will appreciate your intentions even if you slip up.
- “What can I do to help?” While well-meaning, this puts the burden on the sick person to come up with tasks. Instead, take initiative and offer specific help.
- “At least you’re not…” Starting a sentence with “at least” can come across as dismissive, even if you’re trying to highlight a silver lining.
- “When I was sick, I…” Comparing your experiences to theirs can make them feel unheard or invalidated.
- “My thoughts and prayers are with you.” This can feel generic. Instead, try something more personal like “I’m thinking of you.”
- “Did you try that ___ I recommended?” Avoid suggesting remedies or treatments. Trust that they’re receiving proper medical advice.
- “Everything will be okay.” You can’t guarantee that, and this phrase might remind them of their uncertainty. It’s okay for them to feel upset or angry.
Other Ways to Show Support to Someone Who Is Ill
Send a thoughtful get-well card paired with a small gift. Choose a ‘get well’ card that matches their personality and tastes, then add a heartfelt message inside. Elevate your gesture by including flowers or a sweet treat. If you can’t deliver it yourself, services like Moonpig can send cards and gifts within 24 hours.
Send a curated gift box from their favorite store or a local business. Many companies offer pre-designed gift boxes perfect for lifting someone’s spirits. Select a gift box filled with comforting and cheerful items like herbal teas, cozy socks, puzzle books, or chocolates—whatever you think they’d enjoy most.
Prepare a homemade meal or dessert and deliver it to their doorstep. One of the most meaningful ways to show you care is by cooking a meal for them. When someone is unwell, they may lack the energy to cook, so a comforting dish like lasagna or a batch of cookies can make a big difference.
Organize a meal schedule with their friends and family. While delivering one meal is kind, setting up a meal roster ensures ongoing support. Use a tool like Take Them A Meal to coordinate deliveries with others. This way, everyone contributes a little, and the sick person receives consistent care.
Arrange an at-home self-care session for them. If your loved one enjoys being pampered and is well enough, book a professional to provide a relaxing treatment at home. Options include manicures, pedicures, haircuts, or facials. This can help them feel refreshed and more like themselves.
Should I Call, Text, Email, or Send a Card to Someone Who’s Sick?
Select the best communication method based on your relationship. If you hear about someone’s illness indirectly, you might wonder how to reach out. Should you text, call, email, or send a card? All options are valid, but the best choice depends on your relationship. Here’s a guide to help you decide:
- Sending a get-well card: Ideal for long-term illnesses or major health issues, cards are thoughtful and work for almost anyone. They show you care without adding pressure.
- Calling them: Best for close relationships or moderate-to-severe illnesses. However, calls can feel intrusive, so leave a kind message and clarify they don’t need to call back.
- Texting them: Great for close friends or mild illnesses. Texts are casual but can create pressure to reply, so end with “No need to respond if you’re not up to it.”
- Emailing them: A balanced option between cards and calls. Emails allow for longer messages and can include photos or visuals. They also don’t demand an immediate response.
Is It Okay to Use Humor When Talking to a Sick Friend?
Gauge their mood and your usual dynamic. Before adding humor to your ‘get well’ message, consider the situation. Does your friend seem open to a laugh? Are they tired of discussing their illness? Do they usually turn to you for humor rather than sympathy? If you’re unsure, it’s safer to avoid jokes and keep your message sincere.
Key Takeaways for Talking to Someone Who’s Sick
Responding to someone who’s sick doesn’t have a one-size-fits-all approach, but there are key principles to follow. Here’s a guide to help you navigate conversations and offer meaningful support:
- Listen empathetically and let them steer the conversation.
- Stay true to yourself and treat them as you normally would.
- Refrain from offering advice or bombarding them with questions unless they ask.
- Don’t take it personally if they seem withdrawn or upset—it’s not about you.
- Be honest and realistic without exaggerating or downplaying their situation.
- Process your emotions elsewhere—vent to others, not to them.
EXPERT TIP
Eze Sanchez
Life & Relationship Coach
Life & Relationship Coach
Start with empathy or a reflection of their feelings. For example, say, "I can imagine how frustrating it must be to not do the things you enjoy." Then, let them confirm or clarify rather than assuming how they feel.
