Buzz
When the bill comes to your table, do you reach for it right away, or do you wait for your date to make the first move? Deciding who will pay on a date can be a tricky situation, but with a few simple guidelines, you can avoid any uncomfortable moments. This article will guide you through everything you need to know about paying on a first date and beyond.
Steps
Experts Weigh in on Paying for a Date
Whoever invites the other person should cover the bill. If you were the one who initiated the date, it’s customary to pay for both of your meals. On the other hand, if your date set up the dinner plans, they are likely to pay for the entire bill.
- If you don't intend to pay for the meal, it’s still courteous to reach for your wallet when the check arrives. Your date will probably insist on covering it, and you can express gratitude for the gesture.
- If your date is pushing for a split despite your wish to pay, ease the situation by saying something like, “I’ll take care of this one, and you can pay next time.”
- If you feel uncomfortable with your date paying for everything, try viewing it as a gesture of care. This is their way of showing they want to take care of you. Try learning to accept their offer graciously.
After the initial date, you can share the cost. As your connection deepens, it’s common for both partners to take on the responsibility of covering the cost of an outing. The second, third, and subsequent dates can all be a joint effort. When the relationship becomes more serious, you can discuss who will pay and when to split the bill as needed.
- If you want to discuss payment before the date, you could say something like, “Since I covered our last date, would you mind taking care of this one?”
Is it always expected that men pay for dates?
In today’s dating world, it’s not expected that men pay for every date. That tradition is outdated and has largely been left behind in recent years. In fact, having the man pay for all the dates might lead to issues—over time, the man may feel used or taken advantage of, which can lead to resentment.
- Having one partner consistently foot the bill can create an unhealthy power dynamic. The person receiving the payments might feel indebted, which isn’t a balanced relationship.
Is it rude to ask to split the bill?
No, requesting to go dutch isn’t rude. However, if you’re on a first date and you made the plans, it can be off-putting if you’re not ready to pay. If you invited your date out, choose a location that fits your budget—this way, you can treat them and leave a good first impression.
- If you do decide to split the check, simply ask your date directly. This way, you avoid any awkward moments while trying to figure out who will pay.
- Try saying something like, “Would you mind if we split the bill?” or, “Can we go dutch on this one?”
Who covers the cost on a date in a queer relationship?
Typically, the person who extends the invitation pays. It’s best to follow the “whoever asks” rule—if you chose the venue, then you’re expected to pay for the date. However, splitting the bill is also completely acceptable, especially if both you and your date are adamant about paying.
