Breaking up can be incredibly tough, and it often takes more time than we expect to heal. But even if it feels impossible right now, recovery is achievable. If you're still struggling to get over your ex, even after weeks or months have passed, understanding the reasons behind it may help you finally move on. Let’s explore what might be keeping you stuck and discover tips for overcoming each challenge.
This article is based on an insightful interview with Kirsten Thompson, certified psychiatrist and clinical instructor, founder of Remedy Psychiatry. Click here for the full interview.
Key Points to Remember
- If you continue to see your ex frequently, whether in person or on social media, it can make it harder to move on. Loneliness may also be a factor in keeping you attached.
- Often, we tend to romanticize our exes and forget about the reasons why the relationship ended, focusing only on the good moments.
- If your relationship was toxic, you might find it harder to regain your self-worth or sense of identity.
- Moving on can be tough if you haven’t fully processed your emotions or let go of the past.
Actionable Steps to Move Forward
You continue to see your ex in person or online.

- If you want to remain friends with your ex, it’s possible to make that work, but right after a breakup, it’s important to follow the no-contact rule for at least a month. Learn more about the no-contact rule.
- Taking time for yourself is crucial to getting over your ex. It’s natural to miss them, but having space is one of the most effective ways to heal and move forward.
- Consider blocking, unfollowing, or muting your ex on social media. This reduces the temptation to reach out and helps you avoid constant reminders of their presence.
- Reader Poll: We asked 660 Mytour readers how they handle social media after a breakup. 50% of them said they block their ex and set their profiles to private. [Take Poll]
You feel lonely and dislike being single.

- To combat loneliness, focus on yourself during this time. Reconnect with hobbies you may have neglected, or explore new interests you’ve been curious about!
- Strengthen your connections with close friends and family. Humans are social creatures, and we thrive on relationships—not just romantic ones.
Your ex feels familiar and comfortable.

- It's important to distinguish between “familiar” and “comfortable.” Just because your ex is familiar doesn't mean they’re the only one who can offer you a sense of belonging and acceptance.
- Don’t let comfort and familiarity keep you stuck in a relationship that no longer serves you. It might take some time, but you are absolutely capable of finding someone who truly deserves your love and appreciation!
You’re holding onto only the good memories.

- If you catch yourself reminiscing about the best moments, remind yourself that the breakup happened for a reason. It’s important to acknowledge both the good and the bad parts of the relationship.
- If there’s a chance of getting back together, ignoring the issues from the past won’t help. You’ll need to address those problems to avoid repeating them in the future!
You’re putting your ex on a pedestal.

- The reality is, the world is full of possibilities! Even the best relationships can end, but that shouldn't prevent you from finding new love and continuing to grow as an individual.
- Idealizing your ex only limits you. Believing they’re the only one for you blocks the possibility of a healthier, better relationship in the future. Keep an open heart and mind to the endless possibilities ahead!
You’re making yourself stay in pain.

- It’s crucial to show yourself kindness after a breakup. Understand that no matter what happened, you don’t deserve to be your own harshest critic.
- Prioritize self-care after the breakup. Holding onto pain won’t fix anything or bring the relationship back—so why keep doing it?
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Start QuizBrowse More QuizzesYour self-esteem took a hit in the relationship.

- Recognize that it took incredible strength to leave that relationship. Just being free of your toxic ex is a monumental achievement!
- Focus on becoming your own source of validation. Take the time after the breakup to rebuild your confidence and learn to truly love yourself so that you can move forward.
You invested too much energy into the relationship.

- Try to shift your perspective. While breakups are painful, they also open the door for personal growth.
- Now you understand better what you truly need from a relationship, and you can carry that wisdom forward, leading to healthier connections in the future!
You carry the guilt of not being able to ‘fix’ your ex.

- Let go of that guilt. Your ex’s struggles are not your fault, nor is their behavior your burden to carry.
- Ultimately, you can offer love and support, but only they have the power to seek help and change. If they chose not to, it’s not a reflection on you.
You long for the emotional rollercoaster of the relationship.

- Remember, just because a relationship is full of excitement doesn’t mean it’s healthy. You deserve a love that feels secure and steady, something your ex may not have been able to provide.
You’re still trying to make sense of everything that happened.

- If you feel you need closure from your ex, you might consider reaching out to them for a conversation, to gain clarity. Make sure it’s safe to do so, and take care of your emotional well-being during this process.
- Even if you do get closure, understand that you may not agree with your ex’s reasons. Often, the healthiest choice is to stop overthinking and simply let it go.
You can’t seem to let go of the relationship.

- Focus on accepting what happened, including any mistakes you made along the way. The relationship, along with its flaws, belongs to the past—release it and begin anew.
You’re still grieving what could have been.

- It’s important to release those regrets. Everyone has those ‘What if...?’ moments, but they only keep you stuck in the past.
- The best way to move forward is to keep pushing ahead. While your dreams and hopes were once real, they belong to the past now. Holding on to them will only prevent you from stepping into a brighter future!
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Start QuizExplore More QuizzesYou haven't fully processed your grief over the relationship yet.

- Stop burying your emotions or pretending you’re okay. In order to heal, it’s crucial to give yourself space to focus on understanding and confronting your emotions.
- Writing in a journal can be a powerful tool to help you manage and understand your emotions during this difficult time.
- By acknowledging your emotions surrounding the breakup, you’ll find it easier to release them and eventually move forward with your life.
You lost sight of who you were in the relationship.

- Take time to rediscover yourself after the breakup. Pay attention to how you think, feel, and react. It can be empowering to reconnect with your passions and your sense of identity!
- Build a strong support network of friends and family. In future relationships, make sure to maintain those bonds to avoid losing yourself again.
Your breakup brought up unresolved past trauma.

- Healing from past trauma is essential to getting over the breakup. The key is addressing the deeper emotional scars that are influencing your current feelings.
- Consider seeking therapy to work through the trauma and build healthier relationships in the future.
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Relationship Coach
In the early stages of a relationship, a rush of chemicals motivates you and your partner to bond. The intense excitement, the constant thoughts about your new love, and the butterflies in your stomach are driven by the brain’s reward system, which encourages bonding for reproductive purposes.
This system triggers dopamine release—the chemical that makes you feel good and compels you to seek more of whatever gave you that pleasure, whether it's nicotine, chocolate, or your partner’s touch. Dopamine fuels your desire to receive validation and affection from your partner.
However, after a breakup, that reward is either delayed or not received at all. Although your conscious mind may acknowledge the end of the relationship, your brain’s neurons still expect the emotional rewards, keeping you unconsciously attached to your ex.

2. Yes, it does get easier. It might feel impossible right now, but trust that with time, the hurt will lessen. It took me almost two years to get over my last breakup.
3. To move on from the love of your life, focus on yourself. After a breakup, take care of your physical health by eating well and resting. Also, nurture your mental and emotional well-being by engaging in activities that bring you joy and surrounding yourself with supportive people.
