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As the saying goes, we should forgive and forget when it comes to forgiveness. While this sounds simple, many can confirm that it’s far harder to put into practice. Minor offenses may be easier to forgive, but more severe wrongs pose a different challenge. Often, it’s difficult for individuals to forgive grave offenses, and many feel that the person responsible doesn’t deserve forgiveness. These are natural emotional responses, but some individuals choose to rise above them.
10. The Green River Killer
Gary Leon Ridgway, widely known as the notorious Green River Killer, confessed in 2003 to the murder of 48 women. In 2011, he was convicted for the killing of Rebecca Marrero, which brought the total to 49 victims. Ridgway himself has admitted to potentially killing as many as 60 women, with a particular hatred for prostitutes, whom he specifically targeted in his crimes.
During Ridgway’s 2003 sentencing, the families of his victims were given a chance to speak and address him directly. Naturally, many expressed their fury, confronting Ridgway for the unimaginable pain he had caused them. As he stood there, emotionless, listening to their anger and sorrow, one individual surprised everyone with a different message. When Robert Rule, the father of the teenage victim Linda Jane Rule, took his turn to speak, Ridgway showed the first sign of remorse.
Robert Rule’s words to Ridgway were: “Mr. Ridgway... there are people here who hate you. I am not one of them. You have made it hard for me to live by what I believe, which is what God commands us to do: forgive. You are forgiven, sir.” These words moved Ridgway to tears.
9. Patricia Machin
In 2011, Patricia Machin lost her husband when he went out to buy the morning newspaper. Gerrard Machin, as he did every day, left the house, but this time, he never returned. Patricia felt something was wrong and went to search for him, only to be met with the sight of an ambulance and blood on the ground. Her husband had been struck by a driver.
The driver, Brian Williamson, was deeply shaken after striking Gerrard Machin. Despite this, Patricia Machin held no resentment toward him. She understood that the tragic accident wasn’t intentional, and she harbored no animosity toward Williamson. Her genuine forgiveness was apparent in a letter she wrote to him, which was later presented in his defense. In the letter, she wrote, “No matter how painful it was for me, I understand that it was 1,000 times worse for you.”
8. Charles C. Roberts
On October 2, 2006, Charles C. Roberts entered an Amish schoolhouse armed with three firearms. There were 26 students inside. He allowed 15 boys, a pregnant girl, and three other women with infants to leave without harm but held the remaining 15 girls captive, binding their feet together.
His warped justification for the actions stemmed from a desire for revenge over a personal event in his past. Notes he left behind revealed his deep resentment toward both himself and God for the death of his newborn daughter nearly nine years before.
Authorities were quickly notified, and they soon arrived at the scene. Shortly after their arrival, Roberts began shooting, killing three children and taking his own life. Two more children succumbed to their injuries later.
In the face of such immense tragedy, it’s hard to fathom the grief and anger the victims’ families might have experienced. However, in an extraordinary act of forgiveness, members of the Amish community, including relatives of the deceased, attended Robert’s funeral and offered comfort to his widow. Their compassion didn’t stop there—they also provided financial assistance to his widow.
7. Rachelle Friedman Chapman
Rachelle Friedman Chapman is a vibrant young woman with a passion for life, though she has faced her own set of challenges. In 2010, just one month before her wedding to her fiancé, Chris Chapman, a freak accident left her paralyzed from the chest down. While celebrating her bachelorette party with friends, one of them playfully pushed her into the pool. Unfortunately, what was intended to be a harmless joke turned tragic. Rachelle fell headfirst into the shallow end of the pool, breaking two of her vertebrae.
Although Friedman could have easily given in to despair, she made the choice to stay positive. Her fiancé remained by her side, and they were married one year after the accident.
Did Friedman forgive the friend who pushed her into the pool? The answer is 'No, she did not.' As Friedman explains, 'It might be hard to believe, but I never needed to forgive her because I never really blamed her. As I lay by the poolside, I was more concerned about her.' That’s an extraordinary woman.
6. Steven McDonald
In 1986, Steven McDonald was a young New York City police officer. While patrolling Central Park, he and his supervisor stopped three teenagers they suspected of stealing bicycles. One of the teenagers, 15-year-old Shavod Jones, drew a gun and shot McDonald three times. Though doctors managed to save his life, the shooting left him paralyzed and dependent on a respirator. At the time of this devastating event, McDonald and his wife, Patty, had been married for less than a year and were expecting their first child.
Mrs. McDonald was advised to place her husband in a care facility, but the McDonalds remained steadfast, supporting each other through every challenge. Despite all that had occurred, Steven chose not to seek revenge. Instead of harboring bitterness, he forgave the boy who shot him. His forgiveness was so profound that he tried to reach out to Jones while he was incarcerated. Both men aimed to promote forgiveness and non-violence, but tragically, this collaboration never came to fruition. Just three days after Jones was released from prison, he died in a motorcycle accident.
Although their plans were interrupted, McDonald carried out his own mission, traveling to numerous speaking engagements to advocate for forgiveness, peace, and non-violence.
5. Marion Salmon Hedges
Marion Salmon Hedges suffered a severe brain injury when two teenage boys dropped a shopping cart on her head from a fourth-story parking garage in a New York City mall.
In a New York City mall, two teenagers decided to play a prank, though their idea of 'fun' was far from innocent. As they attempted to place a shopping cart on the safety railing of the fourth floor parking garage, it got stuck. Undeterred, they managed to force it over the edge, sending it crashing down onto Marion Hedges, who was standing below. The incident left Hedges in a coma and caused her to lose vision in her left eye.
One boy tried to prevent the other two from carrying out their reckless stunt but failed. He sought help and assisted the police in identifying the offenders. His actions led to him being labeled a snitch, and his family even received death threats, forcing them to move away.
Despite the severity of her injuries, Hedges holds no resentment toward the boys who altered the course of her life with their cruel prank. Reflecting her charitable nature (as she was involved in charity work prior to the incident), she said, 'I haven’t heard from them, but I wish them well. I do, because I feel very sorry for them.'
4. Pierce O’Farrill
On July 20, 2012, James Eagan Holmes entered a midnight screening of The Dark Knight Rises in Aurora, Colorado, and began shooting. The tragic incident claimed 12 lives and left 58 others injured. Among the wounded was Pierce O’Farrill, who sustained three gunshot wounds. Thankfully, his injuries were not life-threatening, and he was discharged from the hospital within a few days.
Despite the understandable feelings of anger or hatred he could have had, O’Farrill chose to respond with compassion. Reflecting on Holmes, he said, 'Of course, I forgive him with all my heart. When I saw him during his hearing, I felt nothing but sorrow for him.' Six months later, when the theater reopened, O’Farrill returned to the seat he had occupied on that fateful night as part of his healing process.
3. Immaculee Ilibagiza
Immaculee Ilibagiza survived the Rwandan genocide of the mid-1990s, which was sparked by political conflict between the Hutu and Tutsi tribes. The violence resulted in the massacre of hundreds of thousands of Tutsi tribe members and Hutus who opposed the genocide. On Easter Sunday in 1994, while Ilibagiza and her family were together, her older brother, Damascene, pleaded with their father to take the family to safety. They ultimately decided to stay.
On April 6, 1994, a tragic event occurred when a plane carrying the Rwandan president, a Hutu, was shot down, resulting in the deaths of all those on board. Shortly after, a brutal killing spree targeted the Tutsi population. Immaculee Ilibagiza and her younger brother, Vianney, sought refuge in the home of a Hutu pastor, who sheltered them from the surrounding violence. However, upon arrival, they were devastated to learn that Vianney could not stay. Ilibagiza and seven other women were forced to hide in a cramped (1 square meter) bathroom for three months. Once they emerged, Ilibagiza learned of the horrific loss of her family. She also endured the physical toll of the experience, losing 22 kilograms (50 lbs) during the ordeal.
Despite the natural impulse for revenge, Ilibagiza chose forgiveness over hate as she realized that anger was consuming her. Although it was difficult, she made a firm decision to let forgiveness, not resentment, dominate her life. Eventually, she came face-to-face with one of the murderers and directly expressed her forgiveness to him.
Ilibagiza now resides in the United States with her children, some of whom were adopted from Rwanda. She authored the best-selling memoir, Left to Tell, and has appeared on numerous television programs. Her advocacy work includes speaking at various conferences and founding the Left to Tell Charitable Fund, which supports children orphaned by genocide. Despite the immense suffering she endured, Ilibagiza has made a profound impact, contributing positively and striving to make the world a better place.
2. Renee Napier, Phillip And Mary Dickson
Renee Napier, along with Phillip and Mary Dickson, experienced a parent's worst nightmare. On May 11, 2002, Meagan Napier, Renee's daughter, and Lisa Jo Dickson, the Dicksons’ daughter, were both tragically struck and killed by a drunk driver. The young women, both only 20 years old, lost their lives instantly. Overcome with grief, Napier and the Dicksons were resolute in their mission to help others avoid the unimaginable pain they were enduring.
The Dicksons became active with their local Mothers Against Drunk Driving (MADD) chapter, while Napier established The Meagan Napier Foundation, an organization dedicated to promoting safe driving. Napier’s goal is to spread awareness of her message and save lives, reaching as many people as possible.
Eric Smallridge, the drunk driver responsible for the tragedy, has joined Napier at some of her speaking engagements. While serving his sentence, Smallridge was granted permission to travel with Napier, where he shared his story. His message to audiences was clear: avoid the consequences of his mistakes. After the presentation, attendees had the opportunity to view the wrecked car involved in the incident.
Napier was deeply committed to sharing her message of forgiveness. Together with the Dicksons, she lobbied for and successfully achieved Smallridge’s early release. This act is a testament to the remarkable depth of their forgiveness.
1. Corrie Ten Boom
Corrie Ten Boom was an extraordinary woman who put her own life at risk to save the lives of others during the Holocaust. She worked as a watchmaker in her family’s business. When the Nazis invaded the Netherlands, Ten Boom and her family joined the Resistance, hiding Jews in their home. To conceal those in danger, a secret wall was built in Ten Boom's bedroom, creating a hidden refuge.
On February 28, 1944, the Gestapo raided the Ten Boom household based on information provided by an informant. The family was arrested, but fortunately, those who had been hiding in the home were able to escape without being detected. Sadly, Ten Boom’s father passed away shortly after the arrest.
Ten Boom and her sister, Betsy, were transported to the Ravensbrueck concentration camp in September 1944. It was there that Betsy tragically passed away in December of the same year. Miraculously, Ten Boom was released due to a clerical error, narrowly avoiding death just days before all women her age were executed.
While attending a church service in Munich, Ten Boom unexpectedly came face-to-face with a former Ravensbrueck prison guard. Having just delivered a sermon on God's forgiveness, the guard, not recognizing her, asked Ten Boom to forgive him for the atrocities he had committed. Though Ten Boom initially struggled to forgive him, she turned to prayer and, with newfound strength, was able to take his extended hand and offer her forgiveness.
