Buzz
Some of the most humorous words are often spoken in the heat of the moment. Here’s a collection of ten clever and witty quotes. If you have a favorite one, don’t forget to share it in the comments for everyone to enjoy.
1. W. C. Fields
I always keep some stimulants on hand in case I run into a snake, which I also keep nearby.
And here's another one:
I am free from all prejudice. I dislike everyone equally.
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I’m not quite young enough to know everything.
And since he was arguably one of the wittiest individuals in history, here’s another one:
Anyone who lives within their means lacks imagination.
3. Sir Winston Churchill
Lady Nancy Astor (to Churchill): “Sir, you are intoxicated!” Churchill: “Indeed, Madam, I am. However, come morning, I will be sober, while you will remain as you are – unpleasant to behold.”
Churchill and Astor are renowned for their witty exchanges, so here's another classic from them:
Lady Astor: “If you were my husband, I would poison your coffee with arsenic.” Churchill: “Madam, had I been your husband, I would have drunk it myself!”
4. Nancy Mitford
I adore children, particularly when they wail, as that's when someone steps in to take them away.
Here's another one:
An aristocracy in a republic resembles a chicken that has lost its head; it might run around energetically, but ultimately, it is lifeless.
5. Dorothy Parker
Although I've never been a millionaire, I'm certain I'd excel at it.
And here's another one:
If every girl who attended the Yale prom were lined up one after another, I wouldn't be the slightest bit shocked.
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In the early moments of the Universe's creation, many were deeply upset by this event, and it has since been deemed a disastrous decision by many.
7. Alice Longworth, the daughter of Theodore Roosevelt
"If you can't say anything nice about someone, come and join me in the corner."
8. Orson Welles
'For thirty years in Italy, under the rule of the Borgias, they endured warfare, terror, murder, and bloodshed, but from it came the works of Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci, and the Renaissance. Meanwhile, in Switzerland, where peace and democracy reigned for five hundred years, all they created was the cuckoo clock.'
9. Margot Asquith
How unfortunate it was that Christopher Columbus, upon discovering America, even bothered to mention it.
10. Margaret Thatcher
I possess an incredible amount of patience, as long as I ultimately get what I want.
