Buzz
Today, being a child is less about venturing out into the world and learning through experience, and more about obeying absurd rules imposed by those in charge. Ironically, these restrictions aren't even being set by parents, but by institutions claiming to safeguard young people.
Protect them from what? From just being kids.
10. Duck, Duck, Goose
The campaign against this game is being fought on multiple fronts. A few years back, an anonymous petition online aimed to ban Duck, Duck, Goose, claiming it to be 'a danger to innocent children across America’s playgrounds.' The petition argued that the game led to various injuries (broken noses, ankles, wrists, and necks), and stated that kids needed protection. The petition called for the game to be erased from the 'dark underbelly of sinister children’s games.'
The petition didn't just call it violent, but also exclusive—targeting the one chosen as the 'goose' (which is absurd). Being the goose was actually the most enjoyable part, because you got to run around. It was way more exciting than sitting idly while someone else controlled the action. As for injuries? From running around in circles and dodging a tap on the shoulder? Perhaps the occasional scraped knee or a scratched elbow—those were the 'war wounds,' the badges of honor we earned as kids. Today, we spend more time stressing over risks and dangers in everything we do and forget about the joy and silliness that should define childhood.
Thankfully, the petition against Duck, Duck, Goose has only garnered 10 signatures so far.
9. Tag
The phrase, “Tag, you’re it!” is becoming increasingly rare in playgrounds, schoolyards, or community centers. “Chasing games” are now being rebranded as “walking games,” since running after someone with the intent to tag them is seen as a recipe for injuries. So much for the “go run around outside” advice our parents once gave us. So much for the campaign to get kids off the couch, away from the TV and Xbox, to be more active and get much-needed exercise. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, seven percent of American children ages six to eleven were obese in 1980. Today, that number is close to 20 percent.
Still, elementary schools in Wyoming, Washington, South Carolina, Oregon, and other states have banned fun, obesity-fighting games like tag, all in the name of safety—because these games could lead to slapping, pushing, and hitting instead of merely tagging. One Boston Elementary school principal remarked that recess is 'a time when accidents can happen.' Well, last I checked, accidents can happen anytime, anywhere—even in a padded room, where one could trip and fall.
8. Red Rover
What used to be a classic playground game, a perfect icebreaker for summer camps, or a team-building activity for the classroom, is now being dubbed a 'dangerous contact sport' by some summer camps.
For Red Rover, no special equipment is needed. All you need is a stretch of grass or field and two chains of children holding hands across from each other. Then, you chant, “Red rover, red rover, send [insert child’s name] right over,” inviting the other team to send a single player, who will then sprint with full force toward the opposing line in an attempt to break through the grip of two players. Sure, it might sting a little if someone crashes into your wrists, but you can always choose to let go. It also challenges the runner to strategize, picking the two players they think they can break through.
Does it really deserve the label of a 'dangerous contact sport'? According to Children’s Hospital at Stanford, California, over million children under the age of 14 are injured each year in contact sports, with brain injuries being the leading cause of death from sports-related injuries. Interestingly, I couldn’t find any recorded instances of head injuries from Red Rover.
7. Human Target Games
In March 2013, the New Hampshire School District banned 'human target sports,' such as dodgeball. This decision aligns with the National Association for Sport and Physical Education, a nonprofit organization that sets K-12 sports standards. Their conclusion: they disapprove of dodgeball. Why? Apparently, throwing a soft, rubber ball at someone—even with the intent of fun and teamwork (trying to keep your team’s last player standing)—fosters bullying and promotes injury.
By this reasoning, we’d have to ban a few other popular games at school: football (surely, football players aren’t immune from bullying their teammates, and tackling is never done for fun), soccer (plenty of bullying stories in soccer, and players aren’t slamming their heads, elbows, and knees together for the thrill of it), and basketball (for all the same reasons as soccer). These games are just as problematic, if not worse.
A teacher at my children’s school once suggested the kids throw colorful sponges at each other instead of using regular balls. That way, no one would get hurt. The kids weren’t too enthusiastic about this idea, though, and insisted on playing dodgeball 'the right way.' Within minutes of playing the sponge version, one child got poked in the eye with the corner of the sponge and started crying. Ironically, when they played dodgeball the following week—with the real ball—everyone had a great time with no injuries.
6. Slip ‘n Slide
This glaringly yellow plastic slide was invented in 1961 by Wham-O. On a scorching summer day, when kids are eager to get wet, it became the go-to backyard toy. Simple and convenient, too—all you needed was a patch of grass, a bathing suit, and a hose. Unfortunately, after seven adults and a 13-year-old suffered neck injuries or paralysis from slipping and sliding, the toy was recalled in 1993. Apparently, the government decided that parents and kids weren’t skilled enough to pick the right type of landscape for setting up the slide (too uneven, too hilly) or they couldn’t get their bodies positioned just right before sliding (too bent over, too headfirst). The government’s solution? Suggest families head to city and county water parks where professionals maintain and set up the equipment.
According to RideAccidents.com, between 1977 and 1997, around 50 people were either killed or seriously injured at water parks in the United States. At the $20-million Pump House Indoor Water Park in Vermont, there's a 60-ft free fall called La Chute. In 2012, an eight-year-old boy got trapped inside the slide, and it wasn't until two other riders crashed into him at 40 mph that anyone noticed, resulting in one rider’s ankle being broken and traumatizing the little boy. So much for trusting the so-called professionals. When I was a kid, I trusted my dad to set up the water slide, and I never once got hurt.
5. Stocking Stuffers
In the past two years, toys that have traditionally been perfect for stuffing into Christmas stockings have been banned in Brussels, Belgium. They were deemed too dangerous by the Toy Safety Directive, an organization that regulates all toys sold to children under 14. According to the Directive, toys with magnets, like fishing games, are considered unsafe because the magnets could be swallowed. Musical instruments like whistles and recorders are being pulled from shelves because they might break apart and small pieces could be ingested. Party blowers that make noise and unfold when blown into are now seen as a risk for children under 14 because tiny bits of the blower might come loose and pose a choking hazard.
The list of regulations even includes a rule stating that children under eight are no longer allowed to blow up balloons unless they’re being supervised. Will kids now be carded before they can inflate a balloon? How is it that my brother and I survived, Christmas after Christmas, even though our stockings were stuffed with these 'deadly' toys?
4. Snowball Fights
In January 2013, several municipalities in the Flemish region of Belgium imposed a fine of 100 euros for the 'heinous crime' of starting a snowball fight. Has Belgium dispatched a special police unit trained to spot suspicious snowball behavior? Apparently, this activity has been deemed a threat to children's health and safety. One local official even compared throwing snowballs to throwing stones.
Hmm. I think people respond differently to being hit by a clump of snow (which is just frozen water) versus a rock (which is, you know, a rock). Could a snowball really be considered a deadly weapon? Would this make Frosty the Snowman the next Chuck Norris?
3. Musical Chairs
A 2002 Washington Times article called for schools to ban musical chairs from all events. Why? Musical chairs has been blacklisted for an alarming number of reasons: it promotes exclusion (if you don’t grab a chair fast enough, you’re out), bullying (you might get teased for not performing well and getting out quickly), aggression (everyone’s fighting for a chair), and competition (you’re desperately trying to grab that last chair before anyone else).
These reasons are utterly absurd. Sure, it may exclude, but so do most things in life (only one person gets the promotion, the scholarship, the lead role in the play, or the varsity spot). Maybe it's better to get kids used to this reality early on. As for bullying, there will always be bullies—everywhere. The solution isn’t to ban an activity, but to stop the bully. Remove them from the game. Problem solved.
Aggression is part of life too. In fact, being aggressive can be a positive trait. Passive individuals will never get a chair. They’ll be out first—not just in the game, but in life. Lastly, the argument against competition is getting stale. Competition isn’t inherently bad. It’s healthy—it drives people to improve and strive for greatness. As a professor, I can tell you the first thing my students ask when I return graded assignments is, 'What did you get?' It’s human nature to want to be better than others. It’s not just something kids do—it’s something all humans do.
2. Superhero Games
On May 17, 2013, a preschool in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania sent home a strange and unsettling letter to its parents. Among the oddities of the letter were numerous misspellings, such as 'our' and 'play,' but the real shocker was the photo placed at the top: an image of iconic childhood superheroes like Wonder Woman, Superman, and Batman, all crossed out with a thick red line, accompanied by a decree that, because 'the imaginations of our preschool children are becoming dangerously overactive,' superhero play would no longer be allowed.
No more running around the playground with your arms stretched wide, pretending to fly into danger with an invisible cape billowing behind you. No more imagining yourself with web-shooters, laser guns, or superhuman strength. Why? Because children might become too aggressive while 'fighting crime' and hurt themselves or each other. What happened to the days when kids could look up to caped and masked 'good guys'? What are they supposed to pretend to be now? Even if they create games where they're bunnies or unicorns, they could still get hurt jumping too high or accidentally impaling themselves on a horn.
1. Cops and Robbers
In March 2013, Worcesters Primary School in North London made the decision to ban any playground games involving imaginary weapons. Of course, the classic game of cowboys and Indians was banned, not just because of the weaponry (guns and tomahawks), but also due to concerns about how it portrays Native Americans as villains.
Who says the Native Americans had to be the antagonists? When I was a child, everyone wanted to play as the Indian—he was the hero. Part of childhood is about exploring new roles and discovering unfamiliar histories, often through movies and books. Sure, with cops and robbers, the good and bad guys are more clearly defined, but it taught us valuable lessons: as 'cops,' we stood for justice, had our own set of principles, and yes, even carried imaginary guns to defend those principles.
Unfortunately, in today’s zero-tolerance world, where a five-year-old can be suspended from kindergarten for pointing his finger like a gun at a friend, it almost seems logical (though absurd) to outlaw such role-playing games.
