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Regardless of cultural diversity, the loss of a child is a universal fear that every parent faces. Throughout history, societies have found distinct ways to mourn their children. In some cultures, however, a child's life was not valued as highly as that of an adult.
10. Ancient China
In ancient China, the death of an infant was so frequent that there was no formal Yili ("mourning period") for babies under three months old. Parents were only permitted to grieve for one day for each month the baby had lived.
If a child passed away at three months old, parents were only allowed three days to grieve before moving on. Anything beyond that was deemed excessive. Similar to the anxiety many women experience in the early stages of pregnancy, mothers were prepared for the possibility of their newborn’s death. In this culture, women were taught not to view their babies as fully human yet.
Until a child reached their seventh birthday, it was common to expect the possibility of death from disease. Citizens were discouraged from wearing white mourning robes, the official attire for grief, or spending money on elaborate funerals for young children.
It was believed that children under the age of eight did not fully understand a deeper connection to the world. As a result, the death of a child was not viewed as tragic as that of an adult.
Nevertheless, some parents loved their children so much that they defied these cultural norms. One such family purchased a gravestone and had a poem inscribed in memory of their five-year-old. The inscription expressed their eternal sorrow and hope that the child’s spirit would forever be united with their ancestors.
9. Southern United States in the 1800s
In the early 1800s, prior to the invention of modern photography, affluent families would commission painted portraits. When a child passed away, parents in the American South would seek to immortalize their child's likeness, ensuring they would never forget their face.
Upon a child's death, the body was referred to as 'the sitter.' After the child was laid out, the artist would take measurements and create a quick sketch of the child’s features. The artist then worked closely with the parents to ensure the likeness was as accurate as possible.
Artists frequently depicted the child surrounded by cherished toys, games, family pets, and other beloved items. They would also include subtle clues, such as dead trees in the background, to signal that this was not just any portrait, but one of a deceased child.
In 2016, the American Folk Art Museum in New York City hosted an exhibition showcasing posthumous child art. In some tragic instances, parents would lose all of their children within a week due to the spread of a deadly disease. In such cases, a single portrait would be created to capture the likeness of all the children together.
8. Victorian England
By the mid-1800s, having a photograph taken became more affordable than commissioning a painted portrait. Much like the posthumous portraits in the American South, families in Victorian England sought to preserve a final image of their child before the funeral. In some instances, the deceased child’s body was propped up, while their living siblings posed for a truly disturbing sibling photograph.
In some instances, parents would hold their deceased babies one final time while a photograph was taken. However, this tradition wasn’t exclusive to children. Many deceased adults were also photographed in this way.
It was more common for children to be photographed alongside their loved ones, or at the very least, with their toys or flowers. Adults, on the other hand, were almost always photographed solo. In one instance, the entire extended family, including the cat, gathered around a dead baby laid out on the floor.
7. Ancient Egypt
In ancient Egypt, 30 percent of children died within their first year of life. It was considered a rare miracle if a child survived to adulthood. Due to the high mortality rate, babies were not buried in cemeteries with adults; instead, families were expected to create graves in their own backyards.
Mothers, understandably protective of any child who managed to survive, would give their children 'magic' amulets and dolls intended to safeguard them from death.
The graves of children were often filled with dolls and toys (like the one shown above). Some historians believe that these toys might have also served as magical amulets, designed to protect the children's spirits in the afterlife.
Because child mortality was so high, many ancient Egyptians refrained from naming their children until they reached toddlerhood. As a result, the graves of children are easily recognizable, often marked simply with the inscription 'The Osiris' ('The Dead One').
6. Ancient Carthage
On the site of ancient Carthage, now in modern-day Tunisia, there is a burial ground containing the cremated remains of babies and fetuses. For many years, it was believed that this site was used for the remains of children who had been sacrificed. A key argument for this belief was the discovery of goat remains buried alongside the children.
The Bible references Carthage as one of the wicked pagan civilizations that worshipped the god Baal, who supposedly demanded that babies be cast into fire. In 2012, researchers suggested that much of the biblical account was anti-Carthage propaganda, intended to sway people toward Judaism and later Christianity. This perspective makes sense, given the historical animosity between Jews and Arabs in Israel and Palestine, which persists even today.
Researchers analyzed the teeth of the children's remains and concluded that many of them, including fetuses and stillborns, were unlikely to have been sacrifices, as Baal's worship typically called for the sacrifice of healthy, living beings.
Researchers from Hebrew University in Jerusalem argued that the high temperatures from cremation could have compromised the dental evidence found in the remains of young babies. This does not, however, dismiss their longstanding beliefs about the practices in Carthage. Scholars from Oxford University also contributed, presenting evidence that the Carthaginians indeed engaged in the ritual sacrifice of children.
The most compelling evidence comes from stone slab grave markers, etched with messages from parents who willingly offered their children to the god Baal, hoping that the god would grant them prosperity in exchange for their children's lives.
5. Japan’s Mizuko Kuyo Memorials
In Japan, the grief and emotional burden surrounding abortion, stillbirth, and miscarriage became more openly discussed among women. As a response to this sorrow, a tradition known as mizuko kuyo was established, a funeral service specifically for unborn children.
Tiny statues of Jizo, a Buddhist figure revered for protecting women and children, are often placed at temples. Women who are mourning and unable to hold a formal funeral may visit Buddhist temples, where they decorate small Jizo statues with knitted bonnets, sweaters, and toys, commemorating their unborn children. They also offer a prayer for the child’s spirit.
This tradition has brought comfort to many mothers of miscarried children, so much so that it has spread beyond Japan. In 1978, a Buddhist temple with a mizuko kuyo section opened in Hawaii, and even in the mainland United States, women have found solace by purchasing Jizo statues for their gardens.
4. Ancient ChamorrosMariana Islands
The Chamorros were the indigenous people of the Mariana Islands. When someone passed away, their body was placed in the home with the head supported by a basket. The Chamorros believed that the soul departed from the head and entered the empty basket.
The Chamorros invited the spirit to remain as long as it wished—unless the death had been violent or involved severe suffering. In those instances, the Chamorros viewed the death as a bad omen, interpreting it as a sign that the ancestors judged the deceased as unworthy of a peaceful death. They believed the person’s soul was condemned to Hell, so the spirit was not invited to linger.
It was considered a mark of respect to preserve parts of the deceased's body. In some cases, after the body had decomposed, the hands and skull were removed and kept as a memento of the person’s life.
For mothers who lost children, it was common to keep a lock of their child’s hair as a remembrance, even if no other body parts were kept. Additionally, a grieving mother would fashion a necklace from a cord, adding a knot each day to symbolize the length of her mourning period for the loss of her child.
3. Uganda’s Child Sacrifices
In 2011, undercover BBC reporters posed as businessmen in Uganda. They approached a witch doctor asking for a spell to bring good luck for their fictional real estate venture. The witch doctor slaughtered a goat in their name and then revealed that to truly secure good luck, they would need to sacrifice a child.
The witch doctor offered to bury the child's remains beneath the site of their future business as part of the ritual. Alternatively, the body parts could be scattered to make identification more difficult, with the head, genitals, hands, and feet being the primary parts to be removed.
The standard good luck spell, which involved the goat sacrifice, cost $400. However, for a stronger version involving child sacrifice, the price would rise significantly. While these practices are illegal, local law enforcement does nothing to intervene, as the witch doctors bribe the police to overlook these horrific rituals.
In one instance, a woman overwhelmed with grief over the death of her grandson was offered money to remain silent. The demand for such spells varies, with reports indicating around 20 to 30 sacrifices per year. However, the BBC suspects the true number is far higher, with many deaths going unreported, particularly among orphans.
Parents in Uganda are constantly vigilant over their children’s safety. Any parent grieving or seeking justice for the death of their child can be easily silenced with enough money. In a nation struggling with extreme poverty, it seems that money is a powerful tool for covering up virtually any crime.
2. Navajo Native Americans
The Navajo continue the tradition of preparing the body of the deceased with their finest attire, jewelry, and feathers before burial. For the first few days after a person’s passing, their name is not to be spoken, as it is believed that doing so could draw their spirit back into the living world.
After a burial, everyone present at the funeral must change clothes and cleanse themselves, as it is believed that the chindi, the negative aspects of a person’s soul, remains around during the funeral. The chindi is considered harmful, while only the good parts of the soul ascend to the afterlife. Children, being innocent, carry less chindi as they haven’t accumulated much evil in their lives.
Chindi is such a significant concern that Navajo tribes will burn a teepee or “hogan” if someone dies inside, fearing contamination by the evil spirit. The Navajo take no chances with the influence of the chindi.
Even with the death of children or babies, any object touched by the child at the time of death is discarded. If a baby dies in a cradle inside a hogan, the house does not need to be burned, but the cradle is buried with the body to prevent the lingering presence of the chindi ghost.
1. Ancient Greece and Rome
The renowned philosopher Aristotle expressed his views on childbirth, including his belief that any child born with a disability should be left to die. Instead of directly killing the baby, parents were advised to leave the child exposed to the elements, letting nature take its course.
Aristotle was also a proponent of abortion. He argued that if a family was unable to support more children, it would be more humane to end a child’s life while still in the womb, rather than allowing it to be born and then killed.
In ancient Rome, the practice of abandoning children to die from exposure was not unusual. The famous legend of Romulus and Remus tells of two brothers who were abandoned by their mother and left to die, only to be saved and raised by wolves.
For many years, historians believed that male children were preferred over females. However, recent DNA research has shown this assumption to be incorrect. Instead, it appears that parents had a variety of reasons for abandoning infants. At that time, newborns were not regarded as fully human, so parents who discarded them without apparent sorrow suggest they did not mourn their loss.
