Buzz
While the primary goal of scientific research is to deepen our knowledge of the world and equip us with invaluable tools for everyday problem-solving, there are times when science ventures into the absurd simply because researchers had nothing more pressing to do.
Have you ever listened to a child pose silly questions such as, 'What if birds pooped while lying down?' While most of us would chuckle and dismiss such queries, certain scientists respond with a straight face and declare, 'Let’s investigate.'
To give you a clearer picture, here are some of the most amusingly pointless scientific studies ever carried out.
10. How Truly Different Are Apples and Oranges?
For years, we’ve casually relied on the assumed contrasts between apples and oranges in debates, ever since the phrase '...like comparing apples and oranges' entered our vocabulary. It’s a fitting analogy, given their distinct appearances and flavors, and it effectively supports arguments. However, surgeon James E. Barone wasn’t satisfied with this assumption and decided to investigate further.
Surprisingly, a detailed study presented at the Connecticut Society of American Board Surgeons revealed that apples and oranges are remarkably alike. After conducting meticulous experiments—likely spent hours at their desks with utmost seriousness—the researchers concluded that the only notable differences were their color and seed types. In all other aspects, they could practically be considered the same fruit.
Because of their findings, we’ve lost a handy phrase to describe two seemingly unrelated things in everyday conversations.
9. How Well Can Shrimps Walk on a Treadmill?
What comes to mind when you observe shrimp?
For culinary enthusiasts, the focus might be on their texture and potential pairings. For the average person, they might seem like just another marine species with little relevance to our daily lives. However, for the scientists behind this study, their first thought was, 'What if we placed them on a treadmill?'
Under the pretense of examining stress effects on marine life—while actually aiming to answer a bizarre question posed by one of their children—a group of scientists injected shrimp with bacterial infections and placed them on a miniature underwater treadmill to observe the outcomes.
In a conclusion that would neither surprise nor interest anyone, they found that healthy shrimp outperformed their infected counterparts. The most shocking (or absurd) part? The study received $682,570 in taxpayer funding from the National Science Foundation.
8. Which Hurts More: Smashing an Empty or Full Beer Bottle on Someone’s Head?
Anyone who’s ever been in a bar fight might recall the thoughts racing through their mind: 'What’s going on?' 'Am I bleeding?' 'How am I getting home?'
While these thoughts are common, it’s safe to say that the science behind which type of beer bottle is best for smashing someone’s head wasn’t among them. Yet, for the researchers who pursued this exact study, it was a question that demanded an answer.
Using both full and empty half-liter beer bottles, they performed stress tests in a drop tower, demonstrating their thorough preparation. Their findings revealed that empty bottles shattered at 40 Joules of energy, while full ones broke at 30 Joules.
While this might seem like a notable difference, it’s actually insignificant. Both levels of energy are sufficient to crack a human skull, a fact bar fighters have understood since the invention of bars—or beer bottles.
7. How to Pee Without Causing Splashback?
For many men, using an unfamiliar restroom always feels like a bit of a gamble. A key factor is the unpredictable splash-back from the toilet. There’s no telling how much will end up on your shoes or pants, and most of us have simply accepted this as an unavoidable reality.
Is it worth dedicating resources and conducting a detailed scientific study on this issue? Most men would say no—but not these three researchers, who believe it’s a topic deserving of serious exploration.
In a study carried out at Brigham Young University’s aptly named Splash Lab, they used a 3D-printed urethra and conducted extensive experiments to pinpoint the exact causes of the most severe splash-back. And by 'extensive,' we mean a full-scale scientific effort involving a dedicated team and advanced lab equipment.
Their findings revealed that neither the size of the urine droplets nor the speed of urination makes a difference. Instead, it’s all about the angle—something most of us could have deduced during a drunk night out without any scientific tools.
6. What’s the Mathematical Equation for Perfect Cheese on Toast?
Placing cheese on toast appears to be a simple task. You just grab the cheese and the toast, and... well, place the cheese on top of the toast.
While some individuals strive for perfection and might employ advanced techniques to elevate their cheese-on-toast game, most people don’t feel the need for, say, a mathematical equation to achieve it.
However, the Royal Society of Chemistry and the British Cheese Board strongly disagree. They’ve developed a mathematical formula—complete with intricate variables and measurements that seem entirely unnecessary for such a task—to perfect the process.
They meticulously adjusted variables like the temperature and texture of the cheese under controlled lab conditions to derive this formula, though we still argue that such effort was entirely unnecessary from the start.
5. How to Walk Without Spilling Your Coffee?
Anyone who’s ever had to carry a cup of coffee while walking from their desk knows the challenges involved. Unless you’re naturally skilled at balancing—or have spent significant time practicing—there’s a high likelihood you’ll end up spilling some.
For most of us, this is a trade-off we’re willing to accept, as having coffee within easy reach means you can drink more of it—because coffee is simply amazing. But is this issue significant enough to warrant a scientific study? Probably not.
However, some scientists disagree and have dedicated considerable time to understanding the physics behind coffee spills while walking. Using technical terms like 'fluid-structure interaction of the coffee cup,' 'resonance region,' and 'maximum spillage,' the study delves into optimizing the experience of walking with coffee.
Their conclusion—delivered with complete seriousness—is that walking backward is one of the most effective ways to prevent spills, even if it makes you look ridiculous and the issue isn’t that serious to begin with. They also recommend gripping the cup in a clawlike manner for better results.
4. How to Take a Photo Without Anyone Blinking?
If you’re the go-to photographer at family events (it’s not because you’re unattractive, we promise; you’re just really skilled), you’ve likely faced the issue of someone always blinking in the final photo, no matter how hard you try.
It’s not always the same individual, either. It could be anyone, and they probably didn’t even do it on purpose (unless someone mischievous is deliberately timing their blinks with the shutter click for fun).
While this is a minor annoyance for most amateur photographers, it’s a topic worthy of research for CSIRO physicist Dr. Piers Barnes. He used probability and calculus to create an equation that calculates how many photos you need to take (with 99 percent confidence) to guarantee at least one shot where no one is blinking.
His findings revealed that the more people in the photo, the higher the likelihood of accidental blinks. For a group of around 20 people, you’d need to take approximately six photos in good lighting and about ten in poor lighting to get a blink-free shot.
3. What’s the Deal with Navel Lint?
The belly button has no clear function other than contributing to the overall appearance of the body, which would look quite strange without it. The only time we pay it any attention is when we decide it needs cleaning. Otherwise, it simply exists in the background.
If asked about the nature of the lint that gathers there, most of us would respond with something like, 'Probably dirt, who cares?' However, that wasn’t sufficient for a scientist from Vienna University of Technology, who spent over four years meticulously analyzing the contents of navel lint.
Between 2005 and 2009, Georg Steinhauser collected 503 samples of his own navel lint and examined them closely for clues about its composition. His fascination grew to the point where he began inquiring about others’ navel lint as well.
Hopefully, his research yielded valuable insights—or perhaps he just managed to unsettle a few people for no reason. He concluded that the lint was influenced by the type of hair in the belly button and primarily originated from the shirt or T-shirt worn that day.
2. How Uncomfortable Is Wet Underwear, Really?
If you’ve ever been caught in the rain or taken an impromptu dip in the water without spare clothes, you’re familiar with the misery of wet undergarments. Despite advancements in underwear technology, little progress has been made in reducing this discomfort. It’s unpleasant, but we’ve learned to tolerate it.
However, some scientists weren’t convinced. Does wet underwear truly cause discomfort?
To investigate, they conducted their own study—complete with participants and rigorous scientific methods. They outfitted eight men in wet underwear and monitored their skin and rectal temperatures, as well as weight loss, over a 60-minute period. They also tracked shivering rates and visible signs of discomfort.
Unsurprisingly, they concluded that wet underwear does indeed make you colder and more uncomfortable, with the thickness of the fabric playing a significant role.
1. How Does Prolonged Sitting Affect a Cow’s Ability to Stand Up?
Cows are notoriously hard to read. Their faces reveal little emotion, making it difficult to discern their needs. Yet, we can’t complain, as they supply us with food and milk. They also spend much of their time lounging, depending on their mood, because, well, they’re cows, and that’s what they do.
For the researchers behind this study, published in Applied Animal Behavior Science, there was valuable data to uncover in the cows’ sitting and standing habits. Questions like, 'Are cows that sit longer more inclined to stand up?' drove their investigation.
After analyzing thousands of instances of cows lying down, tracked by specially installed sensors, the scientists confirmed that the longer a cow remains seated, the higher the likelihood it will eventually stand.
