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The pharaohs of Egypt were regarded as deities themselves. They ruled over one of the earliest advanced civilizations, basking in unimaginable luxury and holding dominion over an empire unlike any the world had ever seen. Their meals were filled with milk and honey, while entire teams of laborers perished constructing statues in their honor. And when they died, they were entombed in monumental wonders that have withstood the test of time for over 4000 years.
No one had wielded such power before. The pharaohs were trailblazers in the realm of opulence, diving into a world of ultimate luxury and control that had never been explored. They relished in life's pleasures as never before—and occasionally, they went a little too far.
10. Pepi II’s Fascination with Pygmies
When Pepi II ascended the throne of Egypt at just six years old, he was a small child with the heavy burden of ruling an entire kingdom. His concerns, unsurprisingly, were typical of any six-year-old boy.
As you might expect, the young king was quite spoiled. Soon after becoming ruler, an explorer named Harkhuf sent a letter to Pepi II, telling him of a dancing pygmy he had encountered. It was the most astonishing news Pepi II had ever received, and he insisted on seeing it for himself.
“Stop everything!” Pepi II demanded of Harkhuf. “Come to the palace right now!” His desire for the dancing pygmy was so urgent that he wouldn’t allow anything to get in the way. Harkhuf was given detailed instructions to ensure the pygmy’s safety. “When he is brought to the boat, make sure that reliable men form a protective circle around him on the gangplank—don’t let him fall into the water! At night, ensure trusted men stay by his hammock. Check on him ten times every night!”
Pepi II received his dancing pygmy, along with nearly every other whim he had. Spoiled beyond measure, he began to see himself as superior to others. By the time he grew older, his corruption had taken hold, and he ordered his slaves to strip naked, cover themselves in honey, and follow him to keep the flies away.
9. The Giant Genital Monuments of Sesostris
Sesostris was regarded as one of the greatest military commanders in Egyptian history. His fleets and armies reached every corner of the known world, expanding his empire further than anyone had imagined. After each victory, he commemorated his triumphs by erecting massive pillars featuring an image of someone's genitals.
Wherever Sesostris fought, he left behind pillars marking the site of each battle. These were typically inscribed with the usual boasts—his identity, his military victories, and his unwavering belief that the gods were on his side in his mission to conquer all.
However, Sesostris added a unique touch that served as a kind of review of the opposing army. If the enemy had fought valiantly, he would carve a depiction of a penis. If the resistance had been weak, he would carve a picture of a vagina.
These pillars were scattered across the continent and withstood the passage of time. Herodotus himself saw some of Sesostris’s monuments in person. Even 1500 years after their construction, they still stood in Syria, engraved with the genitals of failure.
8. Pheros’s Urine Baths
Pheros, the son of Sesostris, was blind. It was probably a hereditary condition passed down from his father, although the official Egyptian tale claimed that it was a divine punishment. The story goes that the Nile was flooding, and Pheros, frustrated by the river’s refusal to subside, threw a spear at it, thinking that was the way to make the water recede. For his defiance, the gods struck him blind.
Ten years later, an oracle told Pheros that his sight could be restored. The oracle said he just needed to wash his eyes with the urine of a woman who had only ever been with her husband.
Pheros first tried using his wife’s urine, but it didn’t work. He remained blind, and now his wife had some explaining to do. However, before dealing with that, Pheros gathered every woman in the village, made them urinate into a pot, and poured the contents into his eyes.
It worked. After going through numerous women, Pheros finally found one who had not been unfaithful to her husband, and his sight was restored. He married her immediately—and had his previous wife burned to death.
At least, that’s how the legend tells it. Of course, it seems unlikely that Pheros actually regained his sight through the use of magical urine. Perhaps he simply needed a good story to explain an odd habit.
7. Hatshepsut’s Fake Beard
Hatshepsut was one of the rare women to take the throne of Egypt. With grand ambitions, she set out to build some of Egypt’s greatest monuments. However, her journey would not be without challenges. While Egypt may have been more progressive compared to neighboring nations, women were still not treated as equals. As queen, she faced significant obstacles.
To ensure her authority, Hatshepsut ordered her people to portray her exclusively as a man. In every depiction, she was shown with strong muscles and a full beard. Whenever introducing herself, she referred to herself as the “Son of Ra,” and it’s highly likely that she also wore a fake beard in real life.
She achieved remarkable success during her reign, partly by convincing everyone that she was a man—but this ruse did not last. Her son later erased her from history in an attempt to hide the fact that a woman had once ruled as king. He was so thorough in his efforts that it wasn’t until 1903 that her existence was rediscovered.
6. Amasis’s Fart-Based Diplomacy
Amasis wasn’t exactly known for his politeness as Pharaoh. He was a heavy drinker and a kleptomaniac, often stealing his friends’ belongings, stashing them in his own home, and then trying to convince them that they’d never owned those items in the first place.
He seized the throne by force. The king had originally sent him to quell a rebellion, but upon arriving, he realized the rebels had a real chance of winning. So, instead of suppressing them, he decided to lead them. True to his nature, he sent a declaration of war to the king by lifting his leg, farting, and telling a messenger, “Take that back to the king!”
Despite his crude habits, Amasis’s actions brought about significant reforms. In his earlier days as a poor kleptomaniac, he had been forced to stand before oracles who were meant to determine his innocence. Once king, he punished every oracle who had cleared him, accusing them of being frauds. If they truly had divine insight, Amasis reasoned, they would have known he was guilty.
5. Actisanes’s City of Noseless Criminals
The people of Amasis’s reign eventually had enough. He was a harsh ruler, and it wasn’t long before he was overthrown. The revolution was led by an Ethiopian named Actisanes, who aimed to take a more compassionate approach to leadership.
Actisanes had a unique method for dealing with criminals. He decreed that anyone who committed a crime would have their nose cut off and be sent to a town called Rhinocolura—literally, the town of cut-off noses.
This would have been an incredibly strange town to visit. It was populated entirely by noseless criminals, forced to survive in one of the harshest environments in the country. The water was contaminated, and they had to subsist on scattered bits of garbage they found around them.
Today, this seems severe—but for a sixth century B.C. ruler, this was seen as a display of great kindness. Romans wrote about Rhinocolura, describing it as an example of Actisanes’s “benevolent treatment of his subjects.” In those times, losing only your nose for breaking the law was considered a lenient punishment.
4. Ramses II’s 100 Children
Ramses II lived for such a long time that people started fearing he might never die. In an era where most kings met their end through assassination within the first few years, Ramses II lived to the ripe age of 91. He made the most of his time, too. Right up to his final days, he built more statues and monuments than anyone—and slept with more women than anyone as well.
By the time he passed away, Ramses II had fathered at least 100 children with at least nine different wives. It took a lot of dedication to the cause, but he certainly made the effort.
Ramses II was a serial bridegroom. When he invaded Kheta, he demanded that they surrender their eldest daughter before he would sign a peace treaty. And he wasn't shy about marrying his own daughters. In fact, he married at least three of them, including his first-born.
He may have married four of his daughters. Historians can't quite decide whether his wife Henutmire was his daughter or his sister—but, given Ramses II's track record, there’s no reason that ‘daughter,’ ‘sister,’ and ‘wife’ couldn’t all fit into one title.
3. Menkaure’s Refusal to Die
Even a Pharaoh must face death. Despite their titles proclaiming them as undying, every Pharaoh knew their time would eventually come. And while they built grand pyramids to guide them into the afterlife, one can only imagine the doubts they had when the moment to close their eyes for the last time arrived.
Menkaure, the Pharaoh of the 26th century B.C., certainly had his doubts about mortality. When an oracle foretold that he only had six years to live, he was gripped by fear and did everything in his power to change his fate.
Convinced he could fool the gods, Menkaure decided that if night never fell, a new day would never start. And if a new day never started, time couldn’t pass—and death couldn’t catch him. So, each night, he lit up as many lamps as possible, desperately trying to keep the illusion of daylight.
For the remainder of his life, Menkaure refused to sleep. He spent his nights awake, drinking and celebrating under artificial lights, forever haunted by the dread of when the lamps would go out and his life would finally end.
2. Akhenaten’s City Built on Broken Backs
Akhenaten revolutionized Egypt by eliminating all gods except one: Aten, the sun god. His dramatic change in Egypt’s religious structure triggered upheaval across the kingdom, demanding immense labor from his people. So much so that they were worked to death in the process.
He established a new city, Amarna, dedicated to Aten. He relocated 20,000 people to construct it, pushing them through physical exhaustion. The bones in the town’s cemetery tell a grim story: over two-thirds of the workers suffered broken bones, and a significant number, nearly a third, had broken spines.
The people of Amarna were barely given enough food to survive. Most were malnourished, and they were forbidden from seeking sustenance on their own. If they dared to break ranks and steal a bit of food, they were punished severely—repeatedly stabbed as punishment for their disobedience.
And it was all in vain. As soon as Akhenaten passed away, his achievements were systematically dismantled. His name was even erased from the annals of Egyptian history.
1. Cambyses’s Hatred for Animals
Cambyses was not Egyptian by birth; he was a Persian, the son of the famed Cyrus the Great. However, after Persia's conquest of Egypt, Cambyses was made ruler of the land. Despite his newfound position, he was notorious for his deep disdain for animals.
Most Egyptian tales involving Cambyses painted him as a man who terrorized animals. In one infamous instance, he visited the sacred bull Apis, an animal worshiped by the Egyptians as a god. In front of the priests, Cambyses unsheathed a dagger and began stabbing the bull, mocking the priests as he taunted, “This is a god worthy of the Egyptians!”
It wasn’t just that he enjoyed tormenting Egyptians—his cruelty extended to animals as well. In his leisure time, he orchestrated brutal fights between lion cubs and puppies, forcing his wife to witness as they savaged each other in a bloody spectacle.
