Buzz
Living in the 21st century, it's easy to get lost in the wave of technology. With mobile phones, the internet, and cars revolutionizing our daily lives, it can seem like the world has completely transformed.
But a quick glance at history reveals that, despite all the technological advancements, human nature has remained largely unchanged. Even before the invention of modern conveniences like the flushing toilet or the concept of the nation-state, people were acting just as they do today. This might be either comforting or concerning, but either way, here are ten historical anecdotes that illustrate how people haven't changed over time, for better or worse.
10. The World’s Oldest Joke
Let's start with humor. The Sumerians, who formed humanity’s first great civilization, created the first cities and invented writing among other accomplishments. They thrived between the 5th and 3rd millennia BC. So, do we share anything in common with people who lived over five thousand years ago?
While it's easy to imagine that our ancient ancestors were far wiser than we are, the reality is much more surprising. One of the most intriguing discoveries made by archaeologists in modern-day Iraq is a tablet featuring the world's oldest joke. Dating back to between 2,300 and 1,900 BC, the joke reads: 'Something which has never happened since the beginning of time; a young woman did not fart in her husband’s lap.'
It's oddly comforting to know that the very first civilization of humanity had a sense of humor involving bodily functions. In addition, the use of a familiar joke format, complete with set-up and punchline, makes ancient Mesopotamia feel more real than statues or crumbling ruins ever could.
9. Lovesick Teenagers
The image of lovesick teenage boys, too shy and nervous to speak in front of their crush, has been firmly embedded in our culture. But this struggle to express one's feelings existed long before the release of *Superbad* (2007).
Dante Alighieri, the renowned Italian poet most famous for his epic *The Divine Comedy*, provides a prime example of this. As a young man in 13th-century Florence, Dante wrote a treatise on love titled *La Vita Nuova* or *The New Life*. In one section, he describes his reaction to seeing his crush, Beatrice, at a party. He experiences a 'trembling on the left side of [his] chest,' shakes uncontrollably, and almost faints.
The other 'gracious ladies' at the party mock Dante for his odd behavior, prompting him to leave, retreat to his home, cry, and pen more love poetry. This gossip leads Beatrice to refuse to acknowledge him when they cross paths in Florence, taking away 'the source of all [his] bliss.' It’s comforting for lovesick teenagers to realize that even the greatest poet of the Medieval era was as helpless as they feel.
8. Scipio’s Hair
Generational conflicts are nothing new. In the 1950s, rock ‘n’ roll was condemned as immoral, and fifty years later, hip-hop was treated with much the same disdain. Over the decades, parents and grandparents have regularly criticized the latest cultural trends, from punks to goths and everything in between.
This same phenomenon occurred in ancient Rome more than two thousand years ago. During the Second Punic War, when Hannibal nearly led the Carthaginians to triumph over the Roman Republic, a young man named Scipio Africanus stepped in to turn the tide. Although he was undoubtedly a military genius, his personal style led to disapproval from the older members of the Roman Senate.
The Roman historian Livy recounts that Scipio wore long, 'flowing' hair, which was in stark contrast to the typical Roman fashion of shaved heads. This was considered semi-scandalous in Rome. Later, when Scipio proposed an invasion of Carthage, his appearance became a point of contention, with the elder general Fabius Maximus criticizing both his hairstyle and dress. As much as we idolize ancient Rome, it’s important to remember that even they had significant generational clashes over seemingly trivial matters like fashion.
7. Ancient Drunkards
Returning to Mesopotamia, the birthplace of human civilization, a number of rediscovered texts have shown just how much the Sumerians had in common with us. Not only did they enjoy beer, but they were quite fond of it. *The Epic of Gilgamesh*, the oldest written story, includes several mentions of 'fine' and 'sweet' beer. One Sumerian proverb even declares, 'he who does not know beer, does not know what is good.'
The earliest known recipe for brewing beer is found in the 'Hymn to Ninkasi,' written around 1800 BC, and there have been modern attempts to recreate it. Some have even suggested that beer played a key role in the development of civilization. Early humans who discovered fermentation likely realized that brewing beer on a large scale required them to transition from a hunter-gatherer lifestyle to an agricultural one.
So while the problem of drunkenness might seem modern, it actually has ancient roots. As *The Epic of Gilgamesh* famously insults, 'May a drunk soil your festal robe with vomit.' Cheers!
6. Poetic Diss Tracks
The concept of a 'diss track' feels very modern, especially in the context of rival rappers or musicians taking shots at one another. However, long before Eminem and Machine Gun Kelly released their infamous diss tracks, another artist was busy dismantling his adversaries.
Lord Byron, the iconic poet of the Romantic Age, was a master of diss tracks. After his first poetry collection, published in 1807, was met with harsh criticism, Byron responded with a savage piece titled 'English Bards and Scotch Reviewers.' In it, he relentlessly mocked the critics and poets who had panned his work.
Byron sarcastically describes the followers of his rivals as a 'tabernacle of proselytes by whom [their] abilities are over-rated,' and he doesn’t hold back when throwing sharp insults at the leading poets of the time. Literary critics now argue that the poor reception of Byron's first collection, and his biting response, likely set the stage for his rise to fame. Regardless, 'English Bards and Scotch Reviewers' is an amusing read that elevates the concept of the diss track to an art form.
5. The Roman Big Brother
George Orwell’s depiction of an omnipresent, authoritarian government seems more relevant today than ever. With modern technology, the idea of 'Big Brother' spying on us from our homes no longer seems far-fetched. What might surprise—and disappoint—you is that state-sponsored surveillance actually dates back more than two thousand years, long before *1984* was written.
The renowned Roman historian Tacitus documented the case of Titius Sabinus, a Roman knight who frequently voiced his criticisms of Emperor Tiberius. One of Sabinus's friends betrayed him by secretly constructing a hidden room in his house, where he invited Sabinus one evening. Several people were concealed in this secret room and overheard Sabinus’s outspoken views on Tiberius.
This private conversation was exposed to the public, and as a result, Sabinus was executed. In Imperial Rome, informing the emperor about traitors became a lucrative business. It was so rewarding that an entire class of professional informers, known as delatores, emerged. This serves as a sobering reminder that history is full of lessons that should not be overlooked.
4. Espionage in Ancient Greece
The concept of espionage is often linked to the 20th century, bringing to mind figures like James Bond, the Cold War, the German Enigma machine, and modern films such as the Jason Bourne and Kingsman franchises.
However, the ancient Greek historian Herodotus, known as the 'Father of History,' wrote about an extraordinary act of espionage that would have left even James Bond speechless.
During the 5th century BC, amidst the Greco-Persian Wars, Histiaeus, the ruler of the Greek city of Miletus, was captured and brought to the Persian capital following a defeat by Persia’s King Darius I. Aware that he needed to send a message to his nephew Aristagoras, who was still in the conquered Miletus, Histiaeus came up with a clever plan. He selected his most loyal servant, shaved his head, and tattooed a message onto the servant’s scalp. Once the servant’s hair grew back, he was sent on a routine errand to Greece, where, upon meeting Aristagoras, he shaved his head to reveal the hidden message.
This incident is the earliest known use of steganography, the art of hiding messages within other objects, a method later famously employed in the buddy cop film *Rush Hour 3*, starring Jackie Chan and Chris Tucker.
3. Death and Taxes
The saying that only two things are certain in life—*death and taxes*—may sound modern, but it was popularized by Benjamin Franklin in the late 18th century. What’s even more intriguing is that complaints about taxes have been part of human history for as long as civilizations have existed. Take the case of Saint Matthew, the tax collector and future apostle, who faced harsh criticism from the Jewish community and even Christ's followers until Jesus himself dined with him and set things right.
When ancient Rome imposed a 5% inheritance tax, it sparked outrage, much like Julius Caesar’s 1% sales tax. In fact, the Roman Senate outsourced tax collection to private contractors called publicans, and there are numerous accounts of citizens raising complaints to the Senate about being overtaxed by these contractors.
One of the most significant archaeological finds in history, the *Rosetta Stone*, is actually a tax concession written in three different languages! Taxes have been a constant throughout history, but so has tax evasion. Even Jesus was accused of *refusing to pay taxes* to Caesar. In Medieval France, an entire town was punished with torture and crucifixion for *burning the tax rolls*.
While this certainly doesn’t make taxes any less burdensome, it might be somewhat comforting to know that taxes have been frustrating people for millennia.
2. Children Behaving Badly
Livy, considered one of Ancient Rome’s greatest historians in the late 1st century BC, is well-known for his epic accounts of the war with Hannibal and the myth of Romulus and Remus. But alongside his monumental stories, Livy makes some surprisingly modern observations.
In his writings, Livy praises the character and integrity of past Roman generations, but he also expresses frustration with how children in his time treat parental authority with “contempt and levity.” Today, we often hear complaints about children’s behavior, whether it’s excessive gaming or a lack of discipline in schools. It’s amusing to see a Roman complaining about these same issues over two thousand years ago. Some people today use this as an excuse for today’s youth behavior, suggesting that “falling standards” may be more about nostalgia than an actual decline. But considering that this complaint came during the decline of Rome, maybe we should take it as a warning rather than dismiss it as a mere “old people’s problem.”
9. Boccaccio’s *Decameron*
Giovanni Boccaccio, born shortly after Dante, was an Italian author whose masterpiece, *The Decameron*, showcases the lively spirit of the Middle Ages. While we often envision medieval life as bleak and harsh, Boccaccio’s collection of tales provides an entirely different, more contemporary perspective.
*The Decameron* is filled with humor, sorrow, and romance. Among the stories is one about a clever man who pretends to be blind, securing a job as a gardener at a convent, where he seduces one of the nuns. Another tells of a knight who offers to carry a lost maiden on horseback to the nearest city, only to bore her so much with his incessant chatter that she gets off and walks there herself. And, contrary to the idea of the pious Medieval crowd, there’s a story of three boys who pull down a judge’s pants while he’s sitting in court.
So, instead of pitying the medieval peasants for lacking modern conveniences like toilets or healthcare, we should recognize that, in many ways, they had just as much fun as—if not more than—people today.
