Buzz
Craving a vibrant lawn? A tasty treat? Or maybe relief from asthma? Everyone has their desires, and these individuals are eager to fulfill them. From quirky chefs to psychic guardians, the 10 people listed here deliver extraordinary services to clients worldwide. Some aim to earn a profit, while others are driven by pure altruism, but all offer exceptional services that are hard to find elsewhere.
10. David Bartlett - Xtreme Green Grass
California is currently facing severe drought conditions, enduring one of the most significant dry spells in recorded history. This natural crisis has persisted for four years, prompting Governor Jerry Brown to enforce a 25 percent reduction in water usage earlier this year. This restriction has hit lawns particularly hard, as residents are now limited to watering just two or three times weekly, down from the usual four or five. As a result, once-green lawns across the state have turned an unsightly shade of brown.
To maintain their yards' appearance, some Californians have opted to replace their lawns with rocks, native plants, or synthetic alternatives. However, for those unwilling to uproot their grass, there's an innovative solution: David Bartlett and his company, Xtreme Green Grass. Bartlett arrives at your doorstep equipped with a sprayer and eco-friendly paint, ready to transform your lawn. For 25 cents per square foot, his team will paint your grass green, offering a quick and affordable fix.
“It’s just like hair dye,” Bartlett told The Sacramento Bee. He assures customers that his paint is entirely natural and environmentally safe. Additionally, Bartlett highlights that his service is far more economical than replacing a lawn with native plants. During the holiday season, Xtreme Green Grass even provides a festive option: painting lawns white to create a winter wonderland effect. While Bartlett’s business thrives during the drought, he may face challenges once the rains return.
9. Dean Esskew - The Umpire Pastor
Baseball fans often focus on the players—pitchers, catchers, fielders, and batters—but rarely consider the umpires. That is, until a controversial call is made. Umpires face intense scrutiny, with fans, media, and even extremists targeting them for mistakes. This high-pressure role makes Dean Esskew’s presence invaluable. Known as the Umpire Pastor, Esskew provides support and guidance to umpires navigating the challenges of their demanding profession.
Esskew, a pastor in his 40s from Oklahoma, leads Calling for Christ, a ministry dedicated to offering spiritual support to umpires in both major and minor leagues. For more than a decade, Pastor Dean has journeyed nationwide, attending games and holding locker room meetings with his congregation. He listens to their struggles, provides counsel, and is present for life’s milestones, from hospital visits for births and deaths to leading weekly phone prayer sessions and Skype-based discipleship programs. Meanwhile, his wife Debrah focuses on supporting the umpires' partners.
In the off-season, Pastor Dean organizes a spiritual retreat for approximately 60 umpires seeking a deeper connection with their faith. Over the years, he has baptized nearly 70 baseball officials. Unlike the stereotypical stern preacher, Pastor Dean maintains a lighthearted approach and is known for his playful antics. Writer Jon Mooallem recounts how he once hid a donkey in an umpire’s house and delivered a locker room sermon dressed only in a speedo—a humorous sight, given his resemblance to Oliver Platt.
Interestingly, Pastor Dean has no love for baseball. Despite his indifference to the sport, he attends games out of respect for the umpires. His involvement isn’t driven by a passion for America’s pastime but by a genuine concern for the well-being of the men in blue.
8. Michael Hallatt - Trader Joe’s Smuggler
If you’re a Trader Joe’s enthusiast—craving their Speculoos Cookie Butter or dark chocolate–covered caramels—Canada is off-limits. Unfortunately, Trader Joe’s doesn’t operate in the Great White North. Canadians longing for rosemary marcona almonds must cross into the US—unless they reside in Vancouver. There, they can visit Pirate Joe’s, a unique store run by Michael Hallatt, the world’s most renowned snack smuggler.
Hallatt launched his store in 2012, filling its shelves with products bought from the Trader Joe’s in Bellingham, Washington. However, when the store’s manager realized the volume of his purchases, Hallatt was permanently banned. Undeterred, he shifted his focus to Seattle, hiring a team of American shoppers (whom he calls “cats”) to buy Trader Joe’s products from various locations across the country.
Transporting large quantities of snacks across the border comes with its challenges. Hallatt had to create custom nutrition labels to comply with Canadian regulations and determine pricing strategies. Despite the higher costs—sometimes $1.50 or more above retail—Canadians are eager to pay for these treats. Trader Joe’s, however, isn’t pleased with his operation and has attempted to stop him. Yet, since Hallatt isn’t stealing or counterfeiting their products, and no harm to their business can be proven, a US court dismissed their lawsuit.
In reality, Hallatt is benefiting Trader Joe’s. He spends $25,000 monthly at their stores and is cultivating a dedicated customer base in case the company expands to Canada. Ultimately, Hallatt’s goal is to see Trader Joe’s open in Canada, at which point he’ll retire his “Pirate” brand and pursue new ventures. Until then, he’ll continue supplying Vancouver with favorites like chocolate orange sticks and wild king salmon jerky.
7. Melissa Dawn - The Human Mermaid
If you’re familiar with Disney’s The Little Mermaid, you know it’s about a mermaid who trades her tail for legs to live on land. Melissa Dawn’s story flips this narrative. Starting as a land-dwelling human, she transformed into a professional mermaid, offering unique performances at events. For a fee, she’ll attend your birthday party or corporate gathering, dressed in a clamshell top and a 25-kilogram (60 lb) tail, bringing a touch of underwater magic to any occasion.
Dawn began her career as a free diver at SeaWorld Orlando (though she has since criticized the theme park), where she earned the nickname “Mermaid Melissa” for her ability to hold her breath for an impressive five minutes. Initially, the mermaid persona was just a title, with no actual tail involved—until she devised a creative business idea.
After launching a YouTube channel in 2006, Melissa founded her company, “Mermaid Aquatic Entertainment.” Alongside a team of professional mermaids and mermen, she travels worldwide, appearing in destinations like Japan, Dubai, and England to entertain at resorts, festivals, and charity events. For a fee, Melissa and her team don their aquatic costumes, dive into portable performance tanks, and captivate audiences with stunning underwater performances.
Beyond entertaining, Melissa aims to promote “ocean education through underwater entertainment,” hoping her work inspires people to protect marine life before it becomes mythical. If you ever hire her, be sure to address her as “Mermaid Melissa.” That’s her legal name. Yes, she loved her job so much that she legally changed her name to “Mermaid.” Now that’s commitment.
6. Bernarda Gallardo - Adopting Dead Babies
In April 2003, a tragic discovery shocked the Chilean town of Puerto Montt. While searching through a local junkyard, someone found a black bag containing the body of a deceased baby girl. The story made headlines, and while most readers expressed sorrow and moved on, Bernarda Gallardo felt compelled to take action.
Bernarda understood how the baby ended up in the dump. A young, likely impoverished single mother—possibly a victim of rape—had given birth and panicked, abandoning the child. Bernarda empathized deeply, as she had faced a similar fear all too well. At 16, after being raped, she became pregnant but was fortunate to have support from loved ones. She knew the desperation that mother must have felt.
Heartbroken for the baby, Bernarda resolved to give her a proper burial. However, the process was complex. It required extensive paperwork, medical tests, and legal approval since only a family member could claim the body. Bernarda decided to adopt the child. When she presented her unusual request to a judge, he noted it was the first time in Chilean history someone had adopted a deceased baby. With government consent, she named the baby Aurora, and 500 people attended the funeral to pay their respects.
After laying Aurora to rest, Bernarda found her life’s purpose. Since 2003, she has become a one-woman adoption agency for abandoned infants. Following Aurora, she adopted three more deceased babies—Manuel, Victor, and Cristobal. As of April 2015, she was in the process of adopting another child named Margarita, aiming to provide her with a dignified eternal resting place.
5. The Psychics Of Silicon Valley
San Francisco is renowned as one of the most psychic cities globally. With so many mediums operating there, the city implemented regulations in 2003 requiring all psychics to register with the government. This included providing fingerprints and obtaining permits to protect residents from fraudulent practitioners.
Bonfilio was crowned San Francisco’s top psychic in 2009, renowned for her expertise in addressing fertility challenges and fostering personal growth and self-awareness. She also excels at advising Silicon Valley CEOs on critical business decisions, such as predicting successful apps and optimal market launch times.
Nicki isn’t the only psychic aiding San Francisco’s tech community. As reported by San Francisco Weekly, Rev. Joey Talley specializes in using magic to protect against computer viruses. Beyond assisting individuals with everyday issues like relationships and finances, this Wiccan practitioner crafts charms to safeguard corporate systems. Using plants and colored gemstones (where color plays a crucial role), she claims to repel hackers and malware.
Tech firms also seek Rev. Talley’s services for her legal-focused rituals. Several startups enlist her to cast spells aimed at influencing judges and opposing lawyers in upcoming court cases. While it may sound far-fetched, the possibility of her magic being real keeps skepticism at bay.
4. Hanna Stotland - Rape Admissions Consultant
Hanna Stotland offers one of the most contentious services on this list: assisting young men in gaining college admission. While this may seem harmless at first, Stotland focuses on a specific group—students expelled from school due to sexual misconduct.
The Association of American Universities Campus Climate Survey reveals that one in four women have faced “unwanted sexual contact” during their college years. With heightened media scrutiny, universities are taking stricter action. Victims can report offenders to school authorities without involving the police, leading to suspensions or expulsions, even without legal charges or convictions.
Rape accusations can haunt individuals indefinitely, making it nearly impossible to gain admission to another university. This is where Hanna Stotland steps in. A Harvard alum with extensive legal expertise, she offers a rehabilitation service, helping men find colleges willing to accept their academic records—and their narrative of events.
When Stotland takes on a client, she provides tailored guidance. She recommends waiting one or two years for the controversy to subside and advises against hiding the incident. Instead, she suggests acknowledging the situation while framing it positively. Admit to causing distress but deny any criminal intent, saying something like, “Yes, she had been drinking, and I made a poor choice, but she wasn’t unconscious.” Stotland describes these as “gray situations.”
Stotland also coaches her clients on how to charm potential colleges. She advises them to acknowledge the discomfort of admitting someone accused of rape and express gratitude for the institution’s challenging position. Her strategies are effective, though her services come at a high cost, making her controversial clientele predominantly affluent.
Stotland doesn’t feel remorse for earning money by helping these individuals return to college. In fact, she believes she’s offering a valuable societal service. As she told BuzzFeed earlier this year, “If one of my clients did commit rape, who needs a liberal arts education more than that person?”
3. Ed Houben - The Sperminator
Known as “The Babymaker” or “The Sperminator,” Ed Houben has been dubbed “Europe’s most virile man” by the BBC. This Dutchman is a unique kind of sperm donor, opting for a less conventional method of delivery.
Houben donates his sperm in the most natural way possible. He helps couples and single women struggling with fertility by engaging in sexual intercourse to facilitate conception.
Despite describing himself as an “ugly fat guy with glasses,” Houben’s services are in high demand. By 2015, he had fathered 106 children, including four sets of twins. Women from countries like Brazil, Australia, and Vietnam have traveled to his apartment for his services. While many clients are single women, assisting married couples can be awkward. Some husbands wait in the car or watch TV, while others prefer to stay in the bedroom during the conception process.
Houben claims his motives are purely altruistic, aiming to help those unable to conceive naturally. Until recently, he accepted all clients, but now he requests photos beforehand to select who he works with.
While this might seem selective, Houben is open to meeting any of his biological children if they seek him out, though he emphasizes he plays no parental role. Notably, he doesn’t charge for his services, telling GQ he’s “rich in children but not in money.”
2. Jeff The 420 Chef
Marijuana has evolved significantly since the era of Reefer Madness. According to the Pew Research Center, 53 percent of Americans support its legalization, with four states and Washington, DC, allowing recreational use. This shift benefits Jeff the 420 Chef, one of the most unconventional culinary experts in the nation.
Known by his cannabis-inspired alias, Jeff the 420 Chef travels the U.S., crafting marijuana-infused meals for a diverse clientele. Dubbed the Julia Child of weed, he has served Hollywood celebrities and chemotherapy patients alike. Using his signature “CannaButter” and “CannaOils,” Jeff whips up gourmet dishes like French toast, mac and cheese, and coconut chicken, each with a unique twist.
Jeff operates exclusively in regions where cannabis is legal, such as Oregon, Alaska, Colorado, California, and DC. Due to legal complexities, he doesn’t accept direct payment. Instead, clients cover his travel and accommodation expenses and supply the ingredients.
A true cannabis expert, Jeff knows which strains suit specific needs. Planning a Valentine’s Day event? He might suggest a strain that enhances libido. Battling chemo-induced nausea? He has the perfect strain to ease discomfort. For creative inspiration, he recommends Purple Haze, a strain that sparks imagination—and appetite.
Jeff caters to a wide range of events, from corporate gatherings to weddings and even Shabbat dinners (his marijuana matzo balls are legendary). He also offers cooking classes and is pursuing a TV show, all part of his mission to “improve people’s lives.” For adventurous home cooks, he shares recipes online.
1. Jasper Lawrence - The Hookworm Man
If pollen or cats make you miserable, Jasper Lawrence can relate. This Englishman spent much of his life battling severe allergies. Even stepping outside caused his eyes to swell shut. In his late twenties, his condition worsened with a severe asthma attack. When medication failed, Jasper took extreme measures and traveled to Africa.
Jasper strongly supports the “hygiene hypothesis,” which suggests that developed nations are overly sanitized. By eliminating germs, we’ve destroyed many microbes essential for proper bodily function, leading to conditions like asthma and Crohn’s disease. Without these beneficial bacteria and parasites, our immune systems overreact to harmless substances like dust and pollen, triggering allergies.
To restore his gut’s natural balance, Jasper spent two weeks walking through open sewers in Cameroon. His goal? To contract hookworms. These parasites live in the small intestine, with their eggs exiting through feces. When people step on contaminated waste, the worms enter through the feet. Jasper and some scientists believe these parasites can calm the immune system, potentially reducing allergic reactions.
Though it sounds bizarre, Jasper’s experiment worked. After introducing 50 hookworms into his body, his allergies vanished. He decided to share this unconventional remedy with others. Using his own body as a breeding ground, Jasper collects hookworm eggs from his feces, cleans them with antibiotics, and sells them to willing customers. Prospective buyers must complete a questionnaire and provide blood test results. For $3,500, Jasper provides a five-year supply.
Jasper claims his treatment has helped people with conditions like multiple sclerosis, but it’s not without risks. Hookworms can cause diarrhea and anemia, which is why the FDA disapproves of his business. Originally based in California, Jasper fled to the UK to avoid fines and imprisonment. Despite being on the run, he continues to sell his parasites, with an endless supply sourced from his own body.
