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Royal courts are often thought of as places of elegance and sophistication, yet some of the individuals within them were anything but. Some were crude, vulgar, and impolite, while others were forced into disagreeable or even revolting tasks. A few even had to make sacrifices—sometimes personal ones. Here are 10 individuals who held strange and unexpected roles in royal courts.
10. Will Somers
In 1525, England's King Henry VIII appointed Will Somers as his court jester, or fool. Like other jesters, Somers enjoyed considerable freedom in his speech, always delivering his sharp critiques veiled in humor and wit.
According to Robert Armin, Somers once saw the juggler, Thomas, carrying milk and bread and requested a spoon from the king. When the king had none, Thomas suggested the fool use his hand. Somers responded with a verse:
This bit, Harry, I give to thee, And this next bit must serve for me, Both which I’ll eat apace. This bit, Madam, unto you, And this bit I myself eat now, And the rest upon thy face.
As he finished the last line, Somers threw milk in Thomas's face. The juggler fled the room and was never seen again.
At one point, Somers insulted Queen Anne Boleyn, calling her a 'ribald' (a lewd woman), and referred to Princess Elizabeth as 'a bastard.' Although King Henry VIII threatened to kill Somers, he ultimately relented, allowing the fool to continue serving the monarch until Henry's death.
9. Archibald Armstrong
Archibald ('Archy') Armstrong, the fool at the court of England's King James I, was given the freedom to speak his mind without fear of punishment—until he crossed the line. His defiance toward Archbishop Laud led to a notorious incident when he interrupted the archbishop during grace.
Armstrong made a sharp verbal jab: 'Great praise be given to God and little Laud to the Devil.' 'Laud' means 'praise,' but Armstrong was cleverly implying that the Devil deserved little praise and suggesting that the Archbishop himself should be damned.
Armstrong continued to relentlessly mock the archbishop until the latter demanded his removal from the court, leading to the fool being replaced by a new fool.
8. Stanczyk
Stanczyk, the court jester for Polish kings Alexander, Sigismund the Old, and Sigismund Augustus, was not only a gifted satirist but also a perceptive political commentator. His sharp wit often ridiculed the political climate of his time. It is said that he was also a shrewd political analyst and an insightful observer of international affairs.
In Jan Matejko’s painting (shown above), the fool sits dejectedly in a chair, wearing a jester's cap and red attire. With a somber expression, he reflects on a report stating that the Russians have taken Smolensk.
Ironically, the king and his courtiers, reveling at the royal ball of 1514, are unaware that the Russians will soon dominate Poland. Only Stanczyk, the melancholy fool, foresees the impending disaster.
7. Nigel Roder
When King Charles I of England was executed in 1649, his fool lost his position as well. Oliver Cromwell abolished the role, and England remained without jesters until 2004. That year, professional juggler Kester the Jester (Nigel Roder) won a contest of wits against six other competitors, earning the title of State Jester.
Roder was selected by judges during a history festival held at Stoneleigh in Warwickshire. During the summer of 2005, he performed at all of English Heritage’s events, a charity dedicated to preserving England’s historical sites.
However, not all jesters were pleased with the competition. The National Guild of Jesters argued that the contest was announced with too little notice, preventing 'professionals' from having a fair chance to apply.
6. Hugh Denys
Among the most unsavory tasks in the royal court was the role of the groom of the king’s close stool (also called the 'groom of the stool'). The 'stool' in question was a portable toilet designed for the king’s personal use. It could be a velvet-covered pine box with a hinged lid, a wooden box with drawers, or a specially designed chair with upholstery.
Typically a nobleman, the groom had the responsibility of assisting the king with 'bodily functions of excretion and ablution.' This included 'monitoring [the king’s] bowel movements,' advising on his diet, scheduling royal events around toilet time, and even wiping the king’s bottom.
Hugh Denys of Osterley, who served as the groom of the stool to England’s King Henry VII, is often regarded as the first person to hold this position. Over time, the role evolved, and the groom became a trusted confidant of the king, offering advice on both political matters and personal affairs.
5. Sir William Compton And Sir Henry Norris
Sir William Compton, the groom of the stool to King Henry VIII, had a particularly demanding role due to the king’s insatiable appetite, which led to frequent toilet visits. Beyond this, Compton was tasked with overseeing the king’s linen, clothing, jewelry, and tableware, as well as managing several of the royal estates.
Compton also facilitated the king’s numerous sexual liaisons, organizing the acquisition of women to satisfy Henry’s desires, and arranged the monarch’s schedule to suit his various affairs. His close proximity to the king allowed Compton to enrich himself by accepting bribes for his services.
The role of the groom of the stool was politically significant, as demonstrated by Sir Henry Norris, Compton’s successor. Norris, who supported Anne Boleyn, found himself charged with treason when she was executed, and was subsequently beheaded.
4. Sarah Churchill
Eventually, the title of groom of the stool evolved into the more refined title of 'groom of the stole,' reflecting the groom’s role in helping the king with his attire. Female grooms were assigned to assist queens.
Sarah Churchill, Duchess of Marlborough, served as one of Queen Anne’s grooms, assisting the monarch with her dressing duties. Though Churchill and the queen had been close childhood friends, their relationship soured when Churchill attempted to exert dominance and control over Queen Anne.
Churchill's jealousy grew when Queen Anne appointed her cousin, Abigail Hill, as her lady of the bedchamber, and Hill took the suite of rooms that Churchill had assumed would be hers. Their friendship further fractured when Churchill, disregarding the queen's wishes, forced her to move from Kensington Palace to St. James’s Palace after the passing of her husband in October 1708. Churchill also removed a portrait of Anne’s late husband from the queen’s bedchamber, refusing to return it when Anne asked.
Ultimately, Queen Anne ended her relationship with Churchill.
3. William Murray
An unusual role within the royal court was that of the whipping boy. Since only the king was allowed to punish the prince, and the king was often unavailable, the position of whipping boy was created.
A boy would grow up alongside the prince, forming a close friendship. If the prince misbehaved, his companion would be punished instead. The idea was that the prince would feel emotional distress watching his innocent friend endure punishment.
Coming from a noble background, the whipping boy resided in the royal palace as a child, enjoying the same privileges as the prince. William Murray, who served as the whipping boy to England’s King Charles I, was greatly rewarded when Charles ascended to the throne. In 1643, the king made his loyal friend the first Earl of Dysart.
2. Liu Jin
The Zhengde emperor of the Ming dynasty in China became infamous for his irrational behavior and brutal nature. His actions were marked by impulsiveness, including leading his troops on reckless campaigns and issuing orders to 'an imaginary double,' General Zhu Shou.
In the early years of his reign, the emperor entrusted the empire’s affairs to a eunuch named Liu Jin. However, after five years of conflict, the emperor ordered that Liu Jin be 'sliced up' slowly over three days. Liu Jin, unable to endure the prolonged torment, died after only two days of suffering.
1. Eutropius
Eunuchs held positions in the royal courts of Middle Eastern and Asian civilizations. Originally born into slavery, Eutropius was given to Arinthus's daughter by his master. Eventually, Eutropius was dismissed, left destitute in Constantinople, before being appointed as a low-ranking imperial chamberlain.
Over time, Eutropius rose to prominence as the chief chamberlain and advisor to Emperor Arcadius. By leveraging his position, he built a considerable fortune. As Emperor Arcadius withdrew from public duties, it was Eutropius who secretly wielded power over the empire.
When Roman troops rebelled, Gainas, a Goth commanding Constantinople's forces, demanded Eutropius’s exile. Empress Eudoxia initially supported Eutropius’s removal. Though he sought refuge in the Church, he was soon captured, tried for multiple offenses, and subsequently beheaded.
